I have to shake my head in wonder...

Bill: Sorry, George, Al Won

By MITCHELL FINK Daily News Gossip Columnist

The 2000 presidential race is over, and Al Gore has won, President Clinton proclaimed Thursday night.

"The Republicans don't want any more hand recounts because they know [Gore] won, too," Clinton told me during a private moment before a star-studded benefit for the G&P Foundation for Cancer Research at the Marriott Marquis in Times Square.

"There are another 892 [Gore] votes in Palm Beach County that we know about," said Clinton. "That's enough to put him over the top."

The President and Sen.-elect Hillary Rodham Clinton were holding court in a small room one floor above the Grand Ballroom. They had just said their hellos to Elie Wiesel, Michael Jackson and Larry King when the subject turned to the election.

What if the process ends in the next few days and George W. Bush is sworn in Jan. 20, Clinton was asked. Did he believe that a hand recount could be conducted — say, as part of a Freedom of Information Act query — after Inauguration Day?

"Definitely," he said.

So then what happens if it's ultimately determined that Gore had actually won in Florida?

"Then America looks like a fraud," Clinton asserted. "They'd kill us around the world. It will be harder to trust us from that point on."

"That's why they have to keep counting," added the First Lady, "so everyone will know for sure."

The Clintons scoffed at the notion advanced in the New York Post recently that the President is mulling a run for mayor.

"We laughed," said Hillary Clinton.

"I couldn't afford to do that anyway," added the President. "I have to find something to support us going back and forth [between Washington and New York]. Actually, she's the one who'll have to go back and forth. You'll probably see more of me around here."

Jackson, who was honored by the foundation, thanked Clinton "for your years of service."

"You've been an incredible President, and I love you," said Jackson.

Others attending the gala, which tied up rush-hour traffic all over midtown, included Robert De Niro, Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, Cindy Crawford, Jane Seymour, Gabriel Byrne, Joan Collins, Marc Anthony and Kim Cattrall.

The evening's organizer, philanthropist Denise Rich, then gave Clinton a golden saxophone.

"I'll have more time to play it in a week or two," he said.

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Amazing huh?

What if the process ends in the next few days and George W. Bush is sworn in Jan. 20, Clinton was asked. Did he believe that a hand recount could be conducted — say, as part of a Freedom of Information Act query — after Inauguration Day?

"Definitely," he said.

So then what happens if it's ultimately determined that Gore had actually won in Florida?

"Then America looks like a fraud," Clinton asserted. "They'd kill us around the world. It will be harder to trust us from that point on."

So the plan seems to be to keep counting, AFTER Bush is in office, in order to make sure that America is seen as a fraud and gets killed around the world. To hell with America.

Un-fucking-believeable.

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), December 04, 2000

Answers

It'll hang on Seminole County Unk. Maybe Gore will finally find a judge that likes him more than they like the law.

-- Carlos (riffraff@cybertime.net), December 04, 2000.

"Then America looks like a fraud," Clinton asserted.

Well, because of Clinton America has looked like a fraud for the last 8 years...

-- Uncle Bob (unclb0b@aol.com), December 05, 2000.

Well, because of Clinton America has looked like a fraud for the last 8 years...

got that right U.Bob! How much more defaced could that "crew" make this country? Next they'll be wiping their ass with the constitution. Bush may not be the best choice, but I thank gawd another 4 yrs of a gag me Clinton clone was thwarted.

-- (doomerstomper@usa.net), December 05, 2000.

Hey, and then BUSH can sue to have HIS dimpled chads counted, and he can be the winner again,..and THEN Gore will sue to have the votes of people in Canada counted,...since they're "really" American too.

(enormous apologies to my canadian friends...the ultimate insult, but I wouldn't put it past Gore..so..)

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), December 05, 2000.