I won the Florida State Lottery! I am now a multimillionaire! Can you believe it?!? I'm bouncing off the walls here!

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Guess what?!?!? I won the Florida State Lottery! I am now a multimillionaire! Can you believe it?!? I'm bouncing off the walls here! You see, my ticket doesn't have the exact winning numbers on it, but I meant to pick those winning numbers. The ticket was very confusing when I was filling it out and so I ended up with the wrong numbers on my card. But since I really meant to pick those other numbers, they should give me the money anyway!!!! They really shouldn't make those damn cards so hard to fill out!!! And even though I was confused, I didn't ask for help because no one would have helped me anyway.

And if the Florida State Lottery won't give me the money, I'll just sue them!!!

-- Uncle Bob (unclb0b@aol.com), November 18, 2000


Stealing stupid ideas from Sleazyboard?? Sheeesh, that is about as low as you can go. Not very funny either.

-- (heard.this@tripe.already), November 18, 2000.

Not exactly. Santana didn't say "Florida State" in his post. UB has been a regular over there, although he doesn't post much anymore.

Best wishes,,,,


-- Z1X4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), November 18, 2000.

Stealing stupid ideas from Sleazyboard?? Sheeesh, that is about as low as you can go. Not very funny either.

-- (heard.this@tripe.already)

Actually, I never go to The Happiest Forum on the Web anymore...shit happens sometimes...


-- Uncle Bob (unclb0b@aol.com), November 18, 2000.

I thought it was funny. Someone sent me this in email last week, but it was a letter from Gore or something.

Hope you're not really leaving, Uncle Bob. I don't always agree with you, but you have a terrific sense of humor and I'd hate it if this board lost that.

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), November 18, 2000.

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), --

Rumors of my leaving are greatly exaggerated...

-- Uncle Bob (unclb0b@aol.com), November 18, 2000.

What would you all do if you actually won the lottery, multi millions?

Would you have any desire at all to share it in some way with your fellow forum friends?

I would. :-)

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), November 18, 2000.

If I won alot of money in the lottery, first thing I'd do is invest about 30-40% (give or take). Then I'd share part of what's left with my family and close friends, a couple of whom are on this very forum (the readers are now sitting there trying to figure out WHO she's talking about). I'd give alot to a couple of my favorite charities.

I'd quit my freaking job and start a home-based business planning parties and events (part-time, of course, because I will have made *stellar*, rock-solid investments).

I'd buy a beach house -- probably in SoCal, but who knows......and maybe a mountain cabin as well.

I'd buy a convertible.........a Mercedes (?) (too bad they screwed around with the Jaguar's body design; looks too much like a Ford now). I'd probably buy a classic, 1950s- or 1960s-type car.

I'd go back to Italy for three weeks; then spend some time in Spain, Paris, London, Belgium.....

I'd throw a huge party and invite about five hundred people (assuming, of course, I know that many people right now [g]).

(I actually have this all figured out; the order in which I'd do things, the rough amount to each, etc. Sometimes I have too much time on my hands [g].)

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), November 18, 2000.


I have a case pending in Florida court against your claim. It seems that the numbers you thought you had were not the numbers that the WILL of the people wanted. The will of the people's numbers were my numbers, I am the rightful winner, not you.

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), November 18, 2000.

Uncle Deedah

Nice try, but, my focus groups tell me that the numbers I intended to pick were indeed the winning numbers. You'll have to wait for the overseas numbers to be counted, but, in the end my numbers will prevail. BTW, I have retained Johnny Cochran, F. Lee Baily, et al...my lawyers can kick your lawyers ass...

-- Uncle Bob (unclb0b@aol.com), November 18, 2000.

{Don't sweat it, D. As long as you can get your Barry Scheck to check out & interpret the ticket, you've got nuthin' to fret about - chads or no chads}.

-- flora (***@__._), November 18, 2000.

Old joke, s'been done already

It looks as though Al Gore may actually pull of a coup on this Nation. Incredible, ain't it?

-- Sad Times (boo@hoo.hoo), November 18, 2000.

Patricia, I used to daydream about winning the lottery, too, until it dawned on me I couldn't win unless I bought a ticket. I could get as much of a thrill from throwing a buck or two down a rat hole.

Easy come, easy go.

-- Brian McLaughlin (brianm@ims.com), November 18, 2000.

Same here Brian. That commercial for the NYS lottery was, "You gotta be in it to win it".

I didn't qualify.

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), November 18, 2000.

Uncle Bob, Uncle Deedah, I don't quite know how to break this to you guys but, I've retained the ghost of William Kuntsler to represent me and my sisters in a class-action.

The lottery machine in question was designed and constructed by men, and women did not get fair representation during the design and creation of said machine.

As we are legally a disenfranchised minority, the law clearly states that we are to be equally represented during all lottery machine design and construction.

We were not; ergo, and to wit, we must claim what is rightfully ours.

See ya'll in court.

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), November 18, 2000.

Oh that all of life's problems were so easy to solve. Patricia, after I am declared the rightful winner I shall re-enfranchise you. Your rights will be restored. I will buy you a lotto machine.

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), November 18, 2000.

It's mine I tell ya! Mine! Mine! Mine!

Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie!

-- Uncle Bob (unclb0b@aol.com), November 18, 2000.

Not gunna do it.............uh uh..............wouldn't be prudent...............not at this juncture................

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), November 18, 2000.

Unc B,Unc D,

I would like to assertain the date for the disputed Lotto ticket,as I have reason to believe the ones you belive to be legitimate are indeed fraudulent.Mine says right here "play and win" & "3 out of 5 is a guaranteed winner" Well,I did play and bought 5 tickets to boot just for insurance.As a matter of fact ALL of my tickets say this so I must protest.


You may dismiss your hired gun as "HONEST ABE LINCOLN" has taken "my" minority case pro bono,ya see,I come from a long,long line of "capnfuns'" that have slowly been driven to sobriety by the evil establishment.This lawsuit doubles also as restitution for future "possible" pain and suffering that I may incurr at anytime from anybody for whatever reason.

Sorry!!! But I will share.

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), November 18, 2000.

Capn, I said that I would share my lotto winnings with "some close friends" -- "a couple of whom are on this board".

Think about it (wink, wink).

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), November 18, 2000.


But I thought you said "Not gunna do it.............uh uh..............wouldn't be prudent...............not at this juncture................"

I'm also gonna sue the Lottery Commission,because when I looked at my ticket and discovered that I was THE winner,I spilt an ICE COLD Budweiser down my crotchtoral area and temporarily lost my penis,causing me much anguish and despair.It is not a moment I care to re-live and has forever bruised my sensitive self esteem.

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), November 18, 2000.

That was to Unk D, who offered to "re-enfranchise" me, have my "rights restored" and buy me a lotto machine.

As to your, um, accident, you know your partner can sue for "loss of services", don't you?

(And the FUNNIEST part about all of this is that while I was reading your post, a commercial for Ener-X came on; you know, the "herbal" viagra.)

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), November 18, 2000.

Goddamn it, this really pisses me off! Here this guy wins the fucking lottery, and I can't even VOTE! I mean, shit, people are talking about me being pregnant, as if that would matter, because I'm a GUY! And since when can't pregnant people vote?

Another thing that pisses me off is people talking about my face! I do NOT have dimples! And I keep hearing that looks-like-a-drag-queen Secretary of State who I didn't even fucking VOTE for talk about HANGING me. Now what the fuck is that? Jesus CHRIST, I KNOW the Bush family is all for the death penalty and everything, but all I wanted to do was VOTE! And I don't even live in Palm Beach County. What the fuck does THAT have to do with anything?

Man, If I ever DO get to vote for Pat Buchanan, it'll be a goddamn miracle.

-- Chad from Florida (chad@pissed.off.com), November 19, 2000.

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