Who would you rather have sex with:

Big Bird or Barney?

Thurgood Marshall (dead or alive) or Judge Wapner?

Dom DeLuise or Paul Prudhomme?

Think up some more combinations so I can waste time thinking and not doing work.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

Answers

Barney, Wapner, Paul P.

Let's start the new questions in new topics so we don't get all confused, okay y'all?

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

Big Bird, Wapner and Paul. I've seen Fatso, and I'd rather not do that guy. Paul Prudhomme can cook me a Turducken when I'm done with him.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

Big Bird, Thurgood and Paul. Big Bird and I both have teddy bears with the same name, so I'm pretty sure I could get out of sex with that bit of traumatic info. I have tons of questions for Thurgood- he was one of my fave Supreme Court Justices. And Paul would at least cook for me before and after.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

Heh. I just figured it out. JackieD has been sampling all those exotic likkers she's making for Christmas presents. Call me picky, but none of the choices appeal to me.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

Nope. Not gonna do it.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

Y'all are wimps, then.

I hate to tell y'all this, but last time I watched Sesame Street (about a year ago,) Big Bird was celebrating his third birthday. Barney's more like three million, right? I prefer experienced guys.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

Gwenz, Gwenz! Oh you said experienced, not old. OK. Sorry. James

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2000

Today's Judge Wapner's 81st birthday. Just, you know, sayin'....

-- Anonymous, November 15, 2000

I was going to say Big Bird because he has, you know, big feet. Let's get personal and make it more interesting, how about Bubba or Paul?

-- Anonymous, November 15, 2000

You mean Bubba or Paul W., who post on this board? You're a saucy one, Oma.

-- Anonymous, November 15, 2000

Oops, of course I meant Paul W. I forgot Gwen's Paul was also a Paul.

-- Anonymous, November 15, 2000

Just as a matter of record, I have large feet. :-)

-- Anonymous, November 15, 2000

I was going to say any of them if you paid me enough, but I don't think so. Gwen, experience doesn't mean they have acquired a clue. Hey, get 'em young, and if they're receptive to it, train them they way you like it, hehe. Bad topic for a sex-deprived person.

-- Anonymous, November 16, 2000

But Big Bird's only three!

-- Anonymous, November 16, 2000

Big Bird must be 3 in dog years or something. I've known him since the 70's (maybe he smoked too much then and stunted his growth?). Big feet rule! So do Texas rednecks! You know you're getting older when you drool over a young hottie then realize he's younger than your own kids. Boohoohoo. Makes you feel so dirty!

-- Anonymous, November 16, 2000

Big feet? Well, I wear a size 10...is that big? You know what they say about men with big feet and big noses, don't you? They're clowns. I always thought it was the cute way I got on and off. You know what you call a man in Texas who can lick his eyebrows?

Darlin'

New combinations, eh JackieD? Martha Stewart naked, gagged and bound over a barrel. Me, with nothing on but cowboy boots, spurs and a zorro mask. Color-coordinated bath towels with monograms, you say? Elegant souffles by candlelight, you say? Oh-so-precious knitted and starched napkin holders?! Being ugly to the gardener again? Hand me that quirt, Parnell. Yeeeeeeeeeeeehaw!!

Sorry, Martha Stewart brings out the worst fantasies in me.

-- Anonymous, November 16, 2000

*Dwanollah collapses in a fit of helpless hysteria*

Kinda brings new meaning to "Martha Stewart's Entertaining," huh?

-- Anonymous, November 16, 2000

Since death isn't a listed option...Bird, Wapner, Prudhomme.

I feel so unclean now.

-- Anonymous, November 16, 2000

What Bubba, no cowboy hat? Actual, my co-worker and I deceided that Martha Steward and Oprah Winfrey should have run for president/vice president. This country could use some cleaning up and would never be the same with two menopausal women in charge.

-- Anonymous, November 16, 2000

Thanks, Oma. I wouldn't want to catch a cold, being dressed like that and all.

-- Anonymous, November 16, 2000