No Drive at Work

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Have been applying due deligent at work for big corporation for last 20 years and is not treated fairly just before and after the merger exercise. Present assginment is a piece of cake thought they did not cut my salary right now. But who knows what next?

Have heavy commitment financially and family and wish very much to acquire latest IT skills, managment trends and possibly change line of interest.

Too many sleepless nights and started to meditate for passst 1.5 years and somehow "wisdom" come in slowly and patiently receiving "pians" but handling OK and gaining some stenght lately though lots of hurdles and problems unsettling ahead.

-- hellovirgin (hellovirgin@ftnetwork.com), October 14, 2000

Answers

Pretty common these days, I find. From personal experience, it takes time to begin to build into your new position a few more interesting things that you did not have time for when you were in a more challgenging position before the merger. It sounds like you have arrived at the right analysis and the meditation should keep helping. Generally what is keeping you awake is a form of "grieving" - as with any loss, you feel badly and your mind keeps trying to process this to arrive at a different answer than you already know. It is coupled with other forms of "worry" (which just means going over and over the same stuff in your head)... probably the worry that you will have your salary reduced when they get around to it. Again, I've been through that and it generally doesn't happen, in part because it could create legal problems for them... and maybe severance pay for you... and because you will find new ways of contributing that make you more valuable if you keep looking for opportunities.

In the mean time, you need to know that grieving moves through various stages... denial (at first... "it can't happen to ME"), then anger ("how could they?"), bargaining (I'll work hard and show them), depression (sleeplessness) and finally acceptance. The cycle takes place over and over until your mind gets all the possible pieces analysed and put in some kind of order. The practical issues boil down to figuring out what you will do if they try to change your pay or if you need to find another job. Practical steps like preparing a resume just in case, beginning to make contact with people in other companies ("networking") who might be useful in a job search, are all useful in convering your frustrated mental energy to practical uses. Good luck.

-- Dave Crisp (dcrisp62@home.com), October 15, 2000.


It sounds like you know what to do but you just want to unload what's on your mind. That is a good thing to do. Your smart enough to know that any advice here isn't really going to change your situation but listening to your thoughts does help.

You have a lot of foresight, you can see the runaway truck ahead. Most times those trucks miss but you know they can also hit you, you know they can hit anybody. You,ve assessed the worst case scenario, but what do you do? You laid your problem out on the table and that gives you a chance to look at it. To view it from a better angle than that thing called worry ever could.

As for sleepless nights, they can happen in good times too, I probably am in need of just as many tips on how to sleep as you do and I am supposed to be one of the lucky ones. I can't really remember the last time I had a whole month just enjoying the luxury of rest. That's when its time to read what David Crisp wrote, realize what he says makes absolute sense and then realize that as human beings we have the capacity to be utterly stupid about the things we do.

As for finances your probably smart enough to know that you need to clear away smallest debt first and work your way up. That way you start knocking away the interest payments that usually weigh down a heavy financial commitment such as mortgage payments.

As for mergers, even FC talked about them (though don't bother reading my sound off comments, they will only reinforce what you are already thinking) See:

http://www.fastcompany.com/online/27/toolbox.html

Hope things work out for you mate, there is good in you, it's clear to me that the sleepless nights are over concerns for the people you love. Somewhere along the line, you've got to find a bit of time to laugh even though there isn't anything funny about the situation. Laughter saves us from ourselves even if it can't do anything about our situations.

The only sentiment that might make some sense to you is an adage I often quote. There are two things that are guaranteed to disappear from any life, those things are people and pressure. You have had better days before and you will have better days ahead, keep the faith now and remain strong.

M.

(Mark Zorro is a pseudonym I use on-line)

-- Mark Zorro (zorromark@consultant.com), October 20, 2000.


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