"This is My New Boyfriend, Ted Bundy!"

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I met my friend's new fella this weekend, and I liked him lots, he was very fun and funny and got along with the group and treats her well, and I really hope that it works out. But what do you do when you can't stand your friend's mate?

-- Kymm Zuckert (hedgehog@hedgehog.net), October 03, 2000


Most of my friends have been remarkably lucky and have found choice mates that are just awesome. I've been to a good number of weddings that just seemed 'right'. Then there is one guy in my group who dates, well, we call her the troll. It has nothing to do with looks, everything to do with personality. The type you can bring up things you like, like books, music groups, films, etc. that you may like. If it's not on her favorite list, 'that sucks!'. Very negative personality and I hate to think of her dragging down my friend, but he claims to be in love. They even talk marriage. And I just know I'll be asked to be in the wedding party... =(

-- B.Mooney (ruiner@ruined.net), October 03, 2000.

Man does it suck when you don't like your friends mate. When Dave and I first met Erica (Brian's wife) we didnt' much like her. Later I turned to Dave and said, "He's going to marry her and then we're going to be married to her too."

Duuuude, we were bummed.

Thankfully, over time I've really grown to like her a lot and we all have loads of fun with each other.

What usually happens when the mates don't get along is that we don't see those people much anymore. Dave doesn't much care for Leora's husband and as a result he hardly ever goes with me when I go to see her. It's not an easy situation...


-- Colleen (triggirl@yahoo.com), October 03, 2000.

Oh, God. I Hate, hate hate my best friend's husband. A hatred that runs quite deep. I seethe when he answers the phone. I used to like him so much in the beginning, but then she came clean about how he really treats her (terrible). There are not words for how uncaring this man is. she has tried to leave him, but unfortunately does not have the courage to do so at this point. I kind of wish I didn't know, because when she does decided off and on that she is staying with him, I can't make myself unhate him. It's terrible.

-- Nancey (ndinardi@athm.org), October 05, 2000.

oh, yeah- and today is actually her birthday. Do you think he even remembered? No, and she is pregnant and sick and he just stayed in bed all day and told her to please bring him some lunch pronto 'cause his headache was killing him. beautiful.

-- Nancey (ndinardi@athm.org), October 05, 2000.

Well...there's my brother-in-law. I have a bad feeling about him, especially since he resembles my father both in physique and personality, and my father, after thirty years, turned out to be a pathetic loser, a cheat, and an alcoholic. But do I say a word? Nooo. Not if I want contact with my niece (and I suspect that someday she'll be glad of that).

-- Catriona (catri696@purpleturtle.com), October 05, 2000.

I hated my best friend's now-ex husband -- he was self-centered, egotistical, annoying, and an idiot (not to mince words or anything...) But, he treated her well 9at least at first), so I kept my mouth shut, and just tried to spend time with her alone, since he drove me up a wall.

-- Mary Ellen (sarcasticah@yahoo.com), October 12, 2000.

HEY! What's so terrible about dating Ted Bundy? He was never even accused of killing anyone he went out with, and besides, I've been told he was very nice and polite, as well.... How would you feel if you looked on the internet and saw a post just like yours only it began, "This Is My New Girlfriend, Kim Zuckert"?

J U S T K I D D I N G ! ! !

-- Robert Cowell (Stranger007@aol.com), January 05, 2002.

My Best friend ha a boyfriend that supposibly treats her well, but i a total ass and hates me for no reason at all. i had no problem with him until one day he began to hate me. i think it is b/c he is jealousat least that is what she says. I have even tried to make good with him he wont even have that. He wants to remain enemies, and i dont.Me and my friends relationship would be so much better. And that is how things should be you know? Like how you see on TV, where everyone are all friends... that is all i want is to be on good terms with him. I dont know if that could ever happen now, b/c i do now truley hate him, with a passion... if anyone has advise email me please and indicate you are talking to Brittany!

-- Brittany Coats (Glimmerglamour04@aol.com), January 25, 2004.

I am having the same problem!! I can't stand my best friend's man. He gives me the creeps, and she makes all these excuses for him. They are suddenly getting married, and havent been together even a year. We've found "questionable" material on his computer, for which she blamed on the guy's gay brother. He's made passes at me, and made innuendos about having a threesome with me and her. And there's a rumor that he's still sleeping with his ex-wife. But if I say anything, she'll just blow me off. And now he's tried to limit my time with her, by TELLING HER that she can't go to a bar or pub for a pint without him there with her. Its such a sham of a relationship. But she'd put up with anything not to be alone. I feel so bad, but know I can't say anything. Anyone have any words of wisdom?

-- A Allgier (amy@trickhip.com), February 16, 2004.

It's great to find this forum. I, too, have a friend who married Mister Creep. At first, we just thought he didn't have much personality. Then we found out about the debts, the bankruptcies, the spending sprees, and the lies, lies, lies. No wonder he didn't have any friends. She's too proud to divorce him, and is now supporting him.

My problem is, whenever she wants us to do anything with them as a couple, my husband says "no way" and I feel like I'm going to throw up whenever I'm near the guy. She has turned into a real martyred whiner, too. I'm trying to get together the words to tell her that if she stays with him, I don't want to have much to do with her.

-- Karen Anderson (mysterioustraveler@gmail.com), May 26, 2004.

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