All that glitters ain't necessarily gold

greenspun.com : LUSENET : TB2K spinoff uncensored : One Thread

The Powerhouse Museum, Sydney Australia, Sunday, Jan 11, 1998

Thank you, Dr. Powers, Kevin Sumption, George Millwood, Sun Micro Systems.

I wish to make a brief announcement.

I have instructed the Cambridge Center to order a Gold Medal, a Silver Medal, and 50 Bronze Medals to be struck by The Medalic Art Company. I have ordered that the Gold Medal be 14 karat gold [1].

Therein lies a tale of fraud and deceit.

When I originally called the Medalic Arts Company to discuss striking the medals, I asked the sales lady: "How much will a Gold Medal cost?"

"What finess do you want?" She responded, "How many carats shall the gold be?"

That was a fair question. I did not want the medal to be too soft, nor too expensive for my means. I felt that 14 carat gold was respectible. Forteen karats would not be too soft, nor, I hoped too expensive, yet a 14 karat medal would still legitimately qualify as a solid "Gold Medal". I am comfortable giving a 14 karat gold medal.

"How much for a 14 karat gold medal?" I asked.

"Let me check ," she said. When she returned, she told me "I've got the price for you."

"OK, I'm sitting down. How much will a 14 carat gold medal cost?" "About $4500," she said. Well, $4500 did not seem excessive, but, those who know me know that I like to joke. Frivolity and whimsey are my watchwords. So when she gave me the price, as a joke I gasped. "Thank goodness I'm sitting down! Water, Water, Oxygen My heart-quick the nitroglycerin!" I said all of these in the manner of a joke, although I did not think the price excessive, nor unfair.

In any case, the solicitous young lady became concerned. "Well," she said, "if the price is too much for you Dr. Loebner, you can do what the Olympic Committee does."

"What does the Olympic Committee do?" I wondered, and asked.

"Why, they have silver medals, gold plated," was her answer.

I could scarcely believe that this could be true. Nevertheless, I checked on the internet. I quote now from Olympic Charter:

Chapter5, Rule 70, paragraph 2 of the Charter, which is entitled "Medals and Diplomas" states:

2.1 For the individual events, the first prize shall be a silver gilt medal and a diploma, the second prize a silver medal and a diploma, and the third prize a bronze medal and a diploma ... etc

2.2 The medals shall be at least 60mm in diameter and 3 mm thick. The medals for first and second places shall be of silver of at least 925-1000 grade; the medal for first place shall be gilded with at least 6 g of pure gold.

2.4 For team sports, and for team events in other sports, each member of the winning team having taken part in at least one match or competition during the Olympic Games is entitled to a silver gilt medal and a diploma, ...etc.

End quote.

Can you imagine that? Has ever hypocracy been so outrageous? Young men and women of all the nations of earth devote their lives to becoming the world's best athletes. They are the fleetest of foot, the surest of hand and eye coordination, and their reward is silver gilt fraudulently called gold.

I am not the Olympic Committee, I am not a syndicate of fraud, I am Hugh Loebner. When the Loebner Prize Gold Medal is given, it shall be solid 14 carat gold.

There are laws, I believe, regarding the terminology of gold. To call something gold, it must be gold of a certain finess. Otherwise, it is "gold plated," or "gold filled," or "goldtone," or "golden"; all of these, but not by law, may it be called "gold."

I did not hear any announcer say "Well, at this stage in the games, the United States leads with 23 gold plated medals" I did not hear any athlete asked, "Well, Mr/Ms X what do you think about having won a goldtone medal?" No, I heard none of that, nor I think did you.

I wonder at the audacity of the Olympics to give silver, and call it "gold. "What can the savings have been, to cause them to abandon their integrity? Let us reckon what would have been the cost of gold.

-- 24kt (shine@shine.com), September 28, 2000

Answers

If we demand that athletes be drug-free then the athletes should demand that their gold medals be silver-free. Pure is pure.

-- no (double@standard.com), September 28, 2000.

Moderation questions? read the FAQ