Hard Times in Margaritaville?

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(Hope I'm not "stepping" on you, hmm. This one hits close to my heart.)

Well, we knew it would happen sooner or later; this happens every time the damn yuppies pick up on something.

Oh, Capnfun, what are we to do now?

Fair use and all that.....

Hard Times in Margaritaville?

GUADALAJARA, Mexico (Reuters) - Up to 40 percent of the firms making Mexico's fiery tequila may halt production because of a chronic shortage of their main raw ingredient, the cactus-like agave plant, a Mexican official said on Monday.

``We all know the reasons, there is no agave left,'' said Alberto Cardenas, governor of the western state of Jalisco, the heartland of Mexico's tequila industry.

The growth in world consumption of tequila ``is threatening tequila production in the next few years,'' Cardenas told Reuters. ``People are saying 30-40 percent of the firms may close down.''

Agave, a blue cactus-like plant, has soared in value in recent months as world tequila demand rocketed past supply.

Once a low-class spirit, Tequila has now become more expensive in Mexico than mid-range whiskeys, and tequila makers have hired extra guards to patrol their fields against thieves.

Supply is unlikely to recover quickly as the agave plant needs up to 10 years to mature.

Ramon Gonzalez, head of the Tequila regulatory council, which guards the trademark, estimated that in the past four months, around a third of established tequila makers had stopped production, reported Reforma newspaper.

Gonzalez could not be contacted to confirm the report.

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), September 26, 2000


Oh no! This is much more devastating than oil prices!

-- Maria (anon@ymous.com), September 26, 2000.

LOL Pat!!! hmmm, a tequilla shortage, toooo funny

-- consumer (shh@aol.com), September 26, 2000.

Ladies, what we need is a Plan. Now, normally I'd say we could do this ourselves, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and I do believe we require the services and/or the intervention of a Professional here.

Bottom line: We Need Capnfun!!

(And if THAT doesn't "conjure" him, I don't know what will.)

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), September 26, 2000.

A 'Plan' yes, that IS the ticket, now I know that Capn Fun works in the salt minds, so that is part of the solution...

Um, what was the plan again? Duh.

Capn, where R U?????

-- consumer (shh@aol.com), September 26, 2000.

We need to create a divergence. Ah, I got it! Let's buy up all the toilet paper and create a run (sortof). Well, ok bad idea. I know, how 'bout we make a song about Daiquiris (sp?), creating a frenzy for that drink.

Lol, 'sumer did you really mean "salt minds". Yes we do need a shaker of salt. But a mind wouldn't fit, would it?

-- Maria (anon@ymous.com), September 26, 2000.

what "I" need is a sp? here @ work....ROFL..

yeah um salt mines, duh. :-0

-- consumer (shh@aol.com), September 26, 2000.

Exacerbating the problem is a critical shortage of worms.

-- Lars (lars@indy.net), September 26, 2000.

The End Is Near


Time is nigh to start planting agaves in your prep garden!

"In search of the blue agave":


-- flora (***@__._), September 26, 2000.

Um, speaking of "duh"; consumer, I thought you really DID mean "salt minds". And lack of caffeine on my part is no excuse right now :-)

flora, I think you have a solution there. I had another thought -- when people "prepped", did anyone included "tequila" in their preps? If so, this person would be a god/goddess at some point in the near future (not to mention potentially very wealthy).

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), September 26, 2000.

Maria, I like the idea of a diversion....I like it even more that it would mis-direct people to rum.

Must think of this in more detail...........:-)

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), September 26, 2000.

Obviously youll have to change to Vodka.

And hope there isnt another Potato famine.

-- The Engineer (spcengineer@yahoo.com), September 26, 2000.


Are you kidding?!

Rumor has it that it's one reason why we've not heard from so many regular Timebomb posters - yet. They're still sleeping Y2k off!

Some folks had their priorities straight {& anticipated other's weaknesses.}

I 'spect some prepped to the gills, so to speak.

As for the goddess thang, I think Chris 'catsy' & I had the perfume market cornered. On the original C. Gerges thread, if the Big One was to hit in California - I therefore bequeathed all my lipsticks & lip glosses to Corrine 1 - with a big ol' shaky smack to her. Culture {!} would've carried on.

-- flora (***@__._), September 26, 2000.

Patricia, thanks for correcting my typos ;) Sometimes those little fingers can't keep up with my mind. Well, time for another.

-- Maria (anon@ymous.com), September 26, 2000.

I don't know about vodka.....it's just not the same.

flora, you are a riot. Are you SURE you can't make it for The Gathering?!?!?!

Maria, didn't mean to correct anything; when I'm typing, my fingers have a mind of their own. (Did you ever put your hands on the keyboard in the wrong position, and it wasn't until maybe an entire page later you noticed it? Ugh. There has to be a program out there to correct that.)

OK, I'll start the Plan and when capnfun gets here, he can give us more information.

Let's see; we're going to need names and email addys for those who may have stashed some of the liquid gold. If I start my agave plants now, in ten years I'll be able to add to the supply. But that's just too long.....we need scientists, damn it, to hasten this process. OK, so we need the names of some scientists who would be willing to work for a cut of future profits.....

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), September 26, 2000.

>> I don't know about vodka.....it's just not the same. <<

Citing the precedent of the FDA allowing a product to be labelled Non-Fat Sour Cream, the liquor industry petitions Congress to allow bottles containing nothing but vodka to be labelled Lite Tequila. If the vodka has a tad bit of carmel coloring it may be labelled Lite Tequila Gold. The request is accompanied by generous campaign contributions.

Citing the public outcry over the tequila shortage and high prices, 322 members of Congress issue a bipartisan resolution promising to "do something positive to alleviate the suffering, increase the tequila supply and bring down prices." Soon afterward, HR 5663.2, also known as the Lite Tequila Bill, sails through Congress.

-- Brian McLaughlin (brianm@ims.com), September 26, 2000.

I knew those embedded thorns would be the ruin of those non-compliant plants.

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), September 26, 2000.

FS,...too funny!

Dang, I stockpiled Vodka...I got some worms in the compost bin that look thirsty...

-- Peg (too@much.spam), September 26, 2000.

Wondered when it was gonna happen, FS. Sigh ;-)

Brian, you really ought to write for The Onion; your talents are wasted here.

Not unappreciated, mind you; just wasted :-)

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), September 26, 2000.

I thought someone would catch the common error. Mezcal contains the worm, not tequila. As far as I remember I never ate the worm.

-- Bingo1 (howe9@shentel.net), September 26, 2000.

"Once a low-class spirit, Tequila has now become more expensive in Mexico than mid-range whiskeys,"

How so nouveau-riche, and so like the yuppies. I am sure that if catsy was here, she'd agree with me to say "let them drink cognac".

A benefit for Lars with cognac is that it doesn't need a dead worm in it to ascertain oneself of its killer nature. Another benefit for Patricia; a cafi-cognac in the morning fixes the problem of putting one's hands on the keyboard in the wrong position. One's hands get to be in any positions except on the keyboard. Oh la la. Capn Fun with agree with me on this, too.

The only drawback to this idea is that I don't like to share my favorite spirit with commoners. But if I must, c'est la vie.

-- Marie Antoinette (in.her.castle.@home.for.now), September 26, 2000.

I like good tequila. For most folks you can get the same taste by adding a little diesel to vodka. I have tasted some bad tequila, so it seems.

Best wishes,,,,,


-- Z1X4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), September 26, 2000.

Z, a little Don Julio in a small snifter? With a good cigar.........mmmmmmmm........ Patron is also good as an aperitif.

For margaritas, I've found the best are Sauza Commemorativo [sp?] (the better one; brown bottle) or Herradurra [sp?] (any variety).

Marie, merci ;-) Mexico actually makes a decent (not great) brandy -- El Presidente, I think, is the brand name. You don't necessarily want to drink it as a stand-alone, but it is an excellent base to mix with apple soda. Add a couple of fresh-squeezed Mexican limes and it's a wonderful on-the-beach-in-the-afternoon drink.

Bingo, I thought we were talking about tequila; personally, I've never had (and never will, as long as I'm conscious) Mezcal. I just don't have that much of a point to prove :-)

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), September 26, 2000.

Hello everybody!!!

Capfun has returned,freshly fried and blatantly baked,just staggered,I meant walked in the door from a swashbuckling,pillaging fantastic foray into the hedonistic tropical realms where I flourish.Sorry I could not respond on demand Pat,but there were important matters in,I mean at hand.That succulent bottle of El Mayor premium blue agave juice had me quite enticed with its magical properties : )

Now there has been a rumor that moi is the cause of the current shortage,let me assure you this is not the case,this is not my own damn fault!!! I have had plenty of help!!!,I also suspect Pat that you are a prime target for blame in this quandry as well : )

Now let the FUN continue!!! As I'm not required to report to the saltmines till Thurs @ 6pm,thank God,I will be returning to my adventure right now with a brand new bottle od El Mayor elixor and several(ok,several dozen) frosty cold Bud's.


You may have hit the nail on the head when you said "salt mind",cause I take my tequila straight,maybe with moi the salt is already included,LOL.

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), September 27, 2000.


Capn: I dont 'get' how you manage to stay so young @ heart!!!!

You party animal you....salt minds, see that IS what happens to moi when I must put in a FULL week of work, after day 2!!!! As I am filling in for vacations, I'll surely NEED MINE come Oct 15th. :-(

Pat, did you see that? Capn just passed the other 1/2 the blame to you. Care to Comment?

GOOD 2 C U Back Capn, I missed ya.

-- consumer (shh@aol.com), September 27, 2000.

Ahhh, yes, I can just picture all the beautiful women on this forum, getting juiced up in a hedonistic tropical realm, the cool breeze softly carressing their bare skin, as they discuss their innermost desires while lounging on the sand. Lo, but wait, what is this ... a tropical storm suddenly brews and catches the beauties in a downpour! And they find that their scant clothing is soaked, and that the sand has turned to mud. Their inhibitions dulled by the booze, it is the magnificant helen who proclaims: "Let's mudwrestle!"

Yes, these are truly the thoughts worth thinking, on an otherwise wistful Wednesday morning...

-- King of Spain (madrid@aol.cum), September 27, 2000.

You know in the end we will all survive this tragic event. Just pass the vodka. There's a wonderful drink I think called the dreamcicle (sp). It's made with vodka, icecream, and OJ.


Thanks Patricia for opening my eyes to the joys of html!

-- Maria (anon@ymous.com), September 27, 2000.


I think its called a creamsickle (sp?) noooo wait, that is a margarita, and I LOVE those!!!!!!

With the extra powerful tequilla, yeeesssssssss!!!

Makes me wanna restle just thinking bout it....ahhhhh sooon.

Cute lil smiley face, yep thats what I WILL look like come the 15th...HEAT!!!!! Tropical Heat, all OVER my body.....cant wait.

-- consumer (shh@aol.com), September 27, 2000.

'sumer, uh, no ...HIC... comment :-)

Capn, welcome back. You can see our dilemma and we were hoping you'd be able to assist us in constructing a Master Plan to divert attention away from the Liquid Gold to something slightly more, um, "common"; say, rum?

Maria, the only thing I haven't tried yet is the "img source" command. Maybe later. (You do know about the HTML Practice Forum on LUSENET, dontcha? I use it all the time. It gets wiped out every week or so, so it doesn't matter how much space you take up or how much you mess up.)

King, I was wondering what took you so long to chime in on this thread :-) We could use some Royal Input if ya don't mind.

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), September 27, 2000.


Thanks hon,hope all is well with you.I thought about a good rasslin' match while sittin' on an emerald sandbar,while the tide gently rolled across the sandy break,would have been perfect : )


A Master Plan? Well I'd say rum is a great target,though lets narrow it down to say Dominican or Jamaican rums.I will promptly start doing my share,but be forewarned,as we may be held responsible for the plight of this delectable nectar,as well ; )

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), September 27, 2000.

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