Gross of a Grossness : LUSENET : Hedgehog Talk : One Thread

I'm not repeating the story from my entry, go read it yourself. What's the grossest story you can tell? Nothing about eyesballs, please, or if you must, an eyeball warning.

-- Kymm (, September 19, 2000


Not the ickiest story but one of the ickiest websites recently. I'd like to think I'm fairly unflappable, but the pictures on this website (that you don't see with that first URL, you have to click to get further, so no immediate nasty surprise with that link up there) had me goggle eyed and feeling like I was 6 or something. Nasty nasty pictures. I felt sure I'd have nightmares involving these pictures last night, but I only had nightmares involving my cats on highways being nearly missed by trucks and cars.

Eyeball Alert! The only icky story I know about eyeballs is mine, and it's more squeamish than icky. I've worn glasses all my life, and briefly wore soft contact lenses. When I was wearing the contact lenses, I rubbed my eye, and suddenly the world was out of focus. Couldn't find the contact lens, but felt something underneath my eye. As in between the eyelid and the eyeball. Went down the street to an optician, who pulled back the lid, and told me that by this time, the contact lens was too far under the eyeball to reach the convential way. So, he popped out my eyeball. It's really interesting (briefly before the real concept of what just happened sinks in) to be able to see your toes while your head is still looking straight ahead. I'm not talking peripherally either, I'm talking full looking down view of the toes without having moved your head a muscle. It also becomes white light almost blindingly bright, which I'm assuming is how the world would look if you had no eyelids. He popped out the lens, popped my eyeball back in, the whole process took maybe less than a minute and was completely painless. People still think it's an icky story.

-- Amanda Page (, September 19, 2000.

AAGH! GAH! Amanda! That's the most horrifying stroy I've ever heard! I'm burning my contact lenses right NOW! Agh! Ick ick ick!

Okay, so eyeball stories really creep me out... and I had a disgusting story to share, but the eyeball thing just drove it right out of my head... *shudder*

-- Mary Ellen (, September 19, 2000.

I have another one, but it's not about eyeballs. It's about breakfast cereal. I was eating Muesli one morning; muesli is a crunchy breakfast mix, oats, whats, grains, nuts, dried fruits, very whole grain and I think it might get called Crunchy Granola over here?

So, anyway, I'm eating this Muelsi, crunchy stuff, and I get to the bottom of the bowl, and notice something moving. erk. I lifted it out, and it was a Weevil. I went to the Muesli box, and the cereal was Moving. Which meant the odds were probably not that I'd just had the one weevil in my ceral. But there was just the one weevil left. Which meant I'd gotten just a little bit more protein with this meal than I'd meant to. I felt a little green for the next few hours, but had no after effects. And I always check my creal now, I always stir the dry stuff around with a spoon before the milk, and then check for signs of life.

-- Amanda Page (, September 19, 2000.

Your story gives new meaning to the term "shit-eating grin." Ick.

Several years ago, while my company was still in Center City, there was a murder about a block away from the office. I didn't give it much thought, apart from noting that this latest act of violence was entirely too close for comfort. I went out the next day for lunch with a friend, and there was still a massive amount of blood on the sidewalks. This man had run for his life before his attacker finally caught him, so there were blood droplets everywhere that ultimately ended in a huge pool of blood. The police tape was down, and people were walking right through all that dried blood.

It is perhaps not gross so much as it is sobering, but seeing that really brought the reality of the violence home to me. It's an image I don't think I'll ever forget.

Eyeball Alert!

I fell asleep with my contact lenses still in. (Okay, I was drunk.) The next morning, I couldn't get them out of my eyes. It felt as though they were fused to my eyeballs. I had to go to the doctor and have him soak them off. An entirely unpleasant experience. (I won't describe the feeling of having my eye kind of streeeeeeeetch when I tried to take the lenses out. That would be too much.)

-- Laura (, September 19, 2000.

This happened to my mother. She was at the movies and bought a candy bar. She opened it in the dark theater and ate half of it (such self control) and wrapped up the rest and took it home. Later, she unwrapped the remaining half and found it was crawling with worms. Don't worry though. This happened a long time ago. Today, there is probably so little nutritive value to our snack food that the worms just aren't interested.

-- Jon Arthur (, September 19, 2000.

My mother told me this one, I don't remember this myself. But it sprang back into my mind when I saw the phrase "shit eating Grin". It's really related to the original story Kymm was told, and it's really quite gross.

My mother tells me, I was about 10 months or so, the sitting up stage, but not really talking stage. She came into the bedroom where I was sitting in my crib, and there was the Worst smell. She came over to work out what I'd done, and I looked up at her and smiled.

My smile was brown.

Turns out I'd been investigating the contents of my nappy (Diaper).

She told Jeff (my spouse) this story, and he went off kissing me for a few hours!

Similar story at the same age, she came out into the backyard, and I looked up at her and smiled, and my smile glistened like a Vaselined Beauty Queen. A vaselined Beauty Queen that had been eating Snails, that is.

I'm not a fussy eater these days, but I'm fussier than that.

-- Amanda Page (, September 19, 2000.

I have two tales, one of which is mine.

Ladies first, though. Izzi's adorable, but this story really bugs me.

The other has to do with a smell that I noticed between my front door and screen door a couple of months ago. It wasn't really bad at first, just odd. The mailbox is there, but that didn't seem to be the source. I looked on the ground and found nothing out of the ordinary. So I went to work.

The next day, I noticed the odor was stronger, but was in a rush to get to work. When I returned, I searched the area again, sniffing as I went (always the best way to discover the most disgusting things up close and personal, I've found). Nothing. Then, in one of those dawning-of-doom moments where everybody slowly looks up, like in "Aliens" when they couldn't figure out how the creatures could be so close on their scanners without them seeing them, I, well, looked up. And not two feet from my face, hanging down from where the back third of it had been apparently (and inadvertently) smashed repeatedly by the front door, was a small lizard, its mostly bloated body turned completely coal black, but its front legs dried to the point that they looked like stick-figure arms. I don't know how long it had been hanging there over my head as I passed by, or if it died right away, or why I hadn't seen it, but when I think now of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, that's the image that comes to mind. And I really wish it would stop doing that.

And as for that eyeball-popping incident, I really don't think "think" comes into play in my reaction. It's icky.

-- Charlie (, September 20, 2000.

All I can say is, don't ever, ever drink directly from a Nepalese mountain stream.

-- Catriona (, September 20, 2000.

Hey, that guy writes really well for someone with a leech up his nose. I wasn't at all surprised to see he's had a couple of books published.

I think the grossest story I ever heard was told me by a boy I knew in college. His drunken self met a similarly intoxicated girl at a party, whereupon they retired to a pitch-dark bedroom and commenced removing one another's clothing, as drunken college kids are wont to do. He got her bra off and started sucking at one of her breasts; after a few seconds the nipple suddenly went flaccid and his mouth filled with viscous, salty fluid. Freaked out, he switched on the bedside lamp...

And found out that he hadn't been sucking on a nipple at all, but a large BOIL.


[No eyeballs were harmed during the reiteration of this story.]

-- Kim Rollins (, September 26, 2000.

That nose leech story was very obviously fiction. It *is* possible, however, to ingest a leech while drinking (duh!) and it may, in fact, attach itself in the nasal cavity. Here's a real story about removing a leech from a girl's nasal cavity.

Apparently it is not unhead of for livestock to choke to death on these leeches.

--- I have my own story of a "brush with grossness." I bought a single serving size Toblerone bar, and unwrapped the end as I usually did -- I generally consumed the chocolate bar by pushing it from its cardboard box, one bit at a time. However, I noticed something unusual : a few chocolate crumbs on the end of the bar. Hmmm. That seemed kind of strange to me as I'd never seen anything like that before. The chocolate bar itself looked pretty normal though, so I thought about just going ahead and chowing down. Prudence won, and I decided to unwrap the entire bar and have a closer look before eating it.

I was absolutely shocked to discover a largish, white worm at the other end of the bar, alive and wriggling about! I swear to God I'm not making this up. It looked very much like a mealworm, except whiter, and had eaten part of the other end of the bar.

Yuck! I went back to the store I had purchased it from (a university bookstore) and demanded a refund. I still can't get over how gross that would have been if I hadn't noticed those crumbs and decided to have a closer look.

My sister has an even grosser story than that. She was eating a date bar and was half way finished when she happened to notice the end she had just bitten from seemed to be moving around a little. She examined it a little more closely and determined it was full of tiny little worms.

-- Dave Van (, September 27, 2000.

Why is that nose leach story very obviously fiction if the same thing happened to the girl in the story?

About the ickiest thing of my life happened last Friday. I was supposed to take care of a friend's cat while she was out of town. When I got to her place, the food bowls were full and the cat didn't come to greet me at the door. I found him on her bed. I think he probably died pretty soon after she left town.

And this is pretty disturbing, too.

-- Amanda (, September 28, 2000.

Why is that nose leach story very obviously fiction if the same thing happened to the girl in the story?

The Nepalese story contains a number of details that are obviously not true. While some could be attributed to exaggeration, others are obviously complete fabrications. Coaxing the leech to show itself by splashing water on the nose, for example. That's just not going to happen. Enough water to draw the leech out would not go up the nose and even if it did the leech would not respond so quickly. Besides, if splashing did work as he said it did, wouldn't any sensible person next try sticking their nose in a bowl of water?

What first tipped me off that the story is a fake, and leaves no doubt in my mind that it is, in fact, a fake, is the oft repeated claim that the leech poked it's end out the guy's nostril without him feeling it. The lining of the nostrils is quite sensitive and lined with hairs. It's just not possible to have something poking its way through your entire nostril without your feeling it.


I actually just remembered that I have a second hand leech story to tell. This sounds sort of like an urban legend, but my in-laws all swear it's true.

The lake at my in-law's cabin has leeches, and we all swim in it despite of them. For the most part they stay under the rocks, so as long as you stay in the deep water you rarely see them.

One day, long before I knew them, they all had a nice swim. I'm not sure how he found it exactly, but my brother-in-law, who was about 8 years old at the time, found a leech attached to his testicles. He stood there screaming, "get it off! get it off!" but nobody wanted to help him with his predicament.

"I don't want to get it off, you get it off," was the general response.

But he just stood there screaming and pointing at his privates.

Finally his mother grabbed a stick and flicked it off. (Contrary to popular belief, these leeches were easily removed.)

His berries were saved.

-- Dave Van (, September 28, 2000.

All right, so perhaps the Nepalese nose leech story was fiction. No one said it had to be a true story, just icky. I stand corrected, since I've never had the experience of having something slimy poke its nose out of my nostril and therefore admit that I couldn't possibly know what it feels like.

Here's another icky story, though: backpacking in Colorado and finding out where the latrine at our well-used campsite was located, thanks to all the very obviously used toilet paper strewn down the bank about 100 yards from where we'd pitched our tent.

Ickier still is the recollection that my husband, Martyr Of the Backcountry, insisted on packing it all out.


-- (, September 30, 2000.


-- JOSE SMITH (SOCCERSTAR7186@JUNO.COM), April 30, 2003.

This happened to me a few years ago while undergoing medical training.....

Part of my First Responder certification was being trained on how rtro deliver a baby. Well, at the time, I was a 19 year old from a conservative family and never encountered any situation like that before. Anyway, we had to watch what I call was a "XXXX Rated Uncensored" video of a woman giving birth. So,as the video played, my instructor was writing stuff on the board for us to jot down in our notes. I just couldn't watch the whole thing, it was THAT gross. My hand was shaking so bad that by the end of the short video, my notes were unreadable. Anyway, from what I did see in the video, was the woman passing the placenta and some nurse was tossing the bloody nasty thing in the air like she was tossing pizza dough. After the video, my instructor called a break and I ran out of the room and was about to puke/pass out. I just went to the restroom to splash cool water on my face. I walk in and everyones laughing and the instructor is like "You ok?" "Oh yeah...fine" Thing was, I noticed the instructor was setting up some sort of Child-Birth-Simulation-Dummy complete with this lubricant stuff and, I shiver just remembering it, just, seeing it caused me to nearly faint again and the teacher was like "if you are going to faint let me know". Needless to say, after that day, I didn't eat pizza from a VERY LONG TI

-- Alex Duncan (, September 19, 2003.

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