"What's it all about, Alfie?"

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Are you feeling lost in your life right now...wondering what it's all about? I feel very lost in my current transition to whatever it is I am going to be in the next phase of being a grown up. Talk about it all here.

-- jo (jo@crazyoldlady.com), September 15, 2000


If it is necessary for life to have a meaning, then I am lost; if it is necessary for life to have a purpose, then I am lost. If life is a thread slowly unravelling, then mine has got tangled.

Do we live our lives on the pattern of a fairy tale - frightening premise... So very deep in the dark forest, the child stops and realizes she is lost; it is only a matter of picking another path and following it, but will it be the right path? And time is running out, no mistakes will be allowed... But where do any of the paths lead?

-- Cathy (cfowley@esatclear.ie), September 15, 2000.

It's sure not been a fairy tale, unless it's one of the "Grimmer" sort, that's for sure. But it has been an adventure, no doubt about it.

The last time I felt this lost was when my kids were little and I was stuck at home and couldn't get a sense of myself other than as someone's mother or wife. I resolved that one eventually by going back to school and making big changes, and creating a new and different place for me. In the end it all turned out for the better, I suppose.

Now I feel stuck again, and a lot like someone's sidekick again...as I am the appendage in the book business, not the primary person as I was to some degree in the jewelry design business. OK, so it's not my turn this time. And I certainly don't mean that the focus should be on me. But I do have to figure out how to work with this new concept or give myself permission to work out some other more individual place for me.

I think I can se all the paths, but I hesitate to take any of them...and that's what the problem is.

As far as meaning and purpose, I just can't find that right now. I am too bogged down in good people getting sick and dying and lousy people prospering, and not being able to reconcile that. It's a whole 'nother load of dirty laundry to sort out.

Wow! This sounds depressing....sorry, it's not that bad, I hope.

-- jo (jo@crazyoldlady.com), September 15, 2000.

-- jo (jowho@yahoo.com), September 16, 2000.

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