Hey you two, I was once like you, and I loved to do the wild thing...

greenspun.com : LUSENET : Till Human Voices Wake Us... : One Thread

Sex is one of those issues that humans have been puzzling out from the very beginning. It's one of the issues that we just can't get away from, no matter how much we might want to at times.

The US is both puritanical and oversexed at the same time. Sex is this hugely taboo subject, so it becomes misused at both extremes. A lot of the beliefs on the subject that we take for granted as human nature, are in fact probably the result of the culture we grew up in.

Where's the line? What do we as humans naturally feel and what have we been taught? How do changing sexual attitudes reflect that?

-- Lisa (lisa@selkie.net), September 04, 2000


Many Americans aren't just puritanical about sex, we're prudes. I find it interesting that other cultures, especially European, think Americans are boorish, brash, and vulgar, yet we are the biggest prudes when it comes to sex. What I'd like to know is how did England break free of Queen Victoria's "morals," yet we are still trapped by them? And it is certainly taught to children, especially girls, as they are raised. This is acceptable, this is not. Don't do that people will think you're a whore, they'll get the "wrong" idea about you.

I'd like to say that I was raised with a more open mind about sex than many people...but by that I only mean that my parents didn't hide sex from us. But I still have that view of what's 'right' and what's not. I'll watch a porno with my husband and then have really hot sex, and then feel 'guilty' for having done something so explicit, so 'not what nice girls do.' I think that line between what's natural and what we've been taught is definitely skewed here.

Another perfect example is when I read a piece that Lisa wrote that actually wasn't even explicit, certainly much less so than many books I read (and I don't mean romance novels), yet I was shocked, stunned, and in denial that my best friend would /could write about sex. It was good writing. I enjoyed reading it. If it had been written by a stranger, I would have it enjoyed it more. Aha! Another "wrong;" people you know don't write stuff like that. Well, I guess that's not true...

As for changing sexual attitudes: Things are definitely more open now than they were, say, in the 50s. But sex really is a taboo subject, and as long as it is considered as such, the selling of sex in music videos, etc. will continue to escalate. We have children, actual 11 and 12 year old children, having sex. But it's not just because of the sexual content of music videos, nor is it just because of parents who don't teach their children about sex. It's because of those reasons, and the fact that sex is considered taboo; something kids aren't allowed to do. Therefore, it must be cool to do it. So there's an undercurrent of 'oversex' raging through this prim society.

I think eventually we'll equalize. I don't think we need to have nudity on public television, or topless beaches, because personally I don't see the reason for either. But we do need to know that it's OK to have raging hormones, that it's OK to feel horny and do something about it without feeling like you did something dirty. How to change our attitudes? I don't know. But I think we're working on it.

-- Dawn Honhera (honhera@quixnet.net), September 06, 2000.

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