Have you ever known someone for a long time and wanted to be their friend, yet your prospective "friend" only wants you as an acquaintance?

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I've been on both ends. I have a friend that I feel close to, yet, they insist on keeping me at arm's length. I mean, I am a quiet, intelligent, non-annoying person and have many good friends, yet this one, just... I also have an acquaintance that is a very annoying person, yet I don't have the heart to tell them to go away. They act like I am their best friend or something, but I just feel repelled by their loud obnoxious behavior. Know what I mean?

-- Shira (eviljewess@yahoo.com), August 22, 2000


Short Answer:


(... or rather, I think so. I'm often astounded to find out that some people "want" me as their friend.)

Long Answer: But I remember in particular, in Junior High, David Freid. Man, he was cool! He played the guitar and hung out with the older kids. I really wished that we were friends. But really, we were merely friendly towards eachother.

I can't think of anyone recently really. But in High School, there was Christian Corry. Once again, we were friendly. I actually hung out with his brother a bit. But he and I were never great friends. Although he was really smart, well travelled, and interesting. I wish we'd been closer.

More often now, I'm the one who keeps people at a distance. I don't know though... whether I do it because I'm intolerant or because I'm afraid to get too close to too many people. Or perhaps I'm just lazy and it requires too much effort.

I know it's hard though... I don't like to tell people to go away either. It sucks.


-- Amanda (nonny@nonsequitur.net), August 22, 2000.

It is kinda strange to find out who "wants" to be your friend. When in that situation, I don't find out until long after, when I don't see that person at all. Yeah, I'm your traditional dumb-ass blind-to- the-obvious guy, when something's about me. I wish I weren't, really, it would probably make life more interesting, more bizarre-O (a good thing), and generally more fun.

And sure, I've definitely been on the other side of the coin. (Who hasn't?...if it's you, I truly envy you.) I remember in senior year of high school, I got into the spring musical (on a lark, I ain't no dancer). I tried, probably too hard, to befriend the bunch of guys who'd been in the musicals all four years, and was tolerated at best. It's not that I didn't find my group -- I had a fantastic time with the friends I made then -- but it did sting to be subtly brushed off by great people. Ah, the tangled webs we weave...

-- Raphael (grebq@yahoo.com), August 22, 2000.

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