Talkin' Large Format Blues
by Wayne "The Same" Campbell
My groundglass give me bellows suck
My barrel mount's humungous
Can't do no shifts or tilts now
My Ektar's got a fungus.
I tried a time exposure
To get the headlight streaks
The shutter won't work on slow speeds
And my bellows are full of leaks.
My tripod fell off the flatbed truck
And made some pavement creases
The head went flying off the side
Into a thousand Ries's pieces.
I tried to get all in focus
And the horizon to bisect
When along came depth-of-field problems
And the dreaded Scheimpflug effect.
I reached into my camera bag
For the obvious solution
A digital Olympus
With 1300 pixel resolution.
-- Wayne Campbell (email@example.com), August 02, 2000
I hope you're not an aspiring songwriter. Seriously though thanks for
the laugh. This large format thing can give one the blues.
-- Wil Hinds (Ytb@aol.com), August 02, 2000.
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