Story Link

Gang swoops on garden gnomes
By TANYA GILES
22jul00

GNOME nappers have been raiding gardens across Melbourne and leaving their loot in bizarre dumping grounds.

A team of garden gnomes turned up at Wyndham Vale football oval in Werribee positioned ready for a game last week.

A large fat gnome "umpire" was poised for the first bounce in the centre circle, a concrete koala on a branch peered from the coach's box and 16 other gnomes were waiting for a kick around the ground.

And a duck was on the injury list last night with a broken beak.

Werribee police station property officer Jane Batties said she found it all "a bit of a giggle".

And 15 other gnomes arrived unannounced in the dead of the night at a South Melbourne home over several weeks.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs were lined up in a row  except Dopey, who was facing the wrong way  and other gnomes were left "greeting" the owners at the front door.

"At first I thought it was a mate having a bit of a laugh," said resident Tim Pearce. "It is all a bit odd."

Police yesterday called on the owners of the missing gnomes to contact them.

Anyone whose gnome has been nabbed is asked to call South Melbourne police on 9690 3088 or Werribee police on 9742 9444 with an accurate description or proof of ownership.

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Comment:
Any assistance from this forum will be appreciated. This gnome napping is serious business. It's catching on. Soon the Yankees will be blighted by errand gnomes found in compromising positions. This may well be the end. TEOTWAWKI!!!

Gnomes of the World Beware!!! You're next???

Warnings from Down Under

-- Pieter (zaadz@icisp.net.au), July 22, 2000

Answers

When in Gnome...

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), July 22, 2000.

>an accurate description or proof of ownership.

My girlfriend's mother has one of those cement geese on her front doorstep. Worse, the mother dresses the goose in little outfits that match the weather: a raincoat for rain, etc.

I'd be too embarrassed to describe that goose to the police if it were ever stolen! Didn't women like that used to keep French poodles and clip their fur into all sorts of strange shapes? I guess a cement goose is less likely to have housebreaking accidents.

-- (kb8um8@yahoo.com), July 22, 2000.

Pink flamingos, yeah baby!

-- (nemesis@awol.com), July 22, 2000.