A friend sent this to me just now in an email. I did not write it. I don't know the author. I don't know the Monster. Does it matter?

The Monster

The monster is awake today. My body is telling me something is going on, the sensations of years past are full force in my skin. The burning fire is out of control. The flames surge up my back, down my legs, shooting out my fingertips. I want to scream, but I know that if I do, the monster will chuckle in delight that it has control of me for this moment. So I cry, begging this faceless entity to let go. But my pleadings are useless, for it has been my companion, my nemesis for many years. Today it is letting me know that it never really left, it was just hiding in the attic. It will never leave me. I shudder at its strength, its power that reduces me to a wretched being of suffering.

The drugs of well-meaning humans feed the monster. They are its tools to cloud my mind, distorting my thoughts, my judgments, my capacity to love. I threw them away long ago, but today I think of them, wishing they could provide the escape that they promise. A hollow promise of sanity that is the manipulator of the monster, for it knows that once I cease to rely on the faith of my soul, it has a hook in me that only God can remove.

But I cannot surrender to it. I can accept its presence, but not give it the encompassing control it craves. Yielding to its torture is an emotion that will be the death of me. Once I give in, once I stop living and kowtow to its demands, my life will truly belong to the monster. And it will rejoice in its victory.

So I pray today. Pray for the angels to come and caress me with love. It is my only defense.

-- Lars (lars@indy.net), July 07, 2000

Answers

Lars, whom ever this tormented soul is, they must "pray without ceasing". May we say a private prayer for them , also.

-- Church Fan (h@nd.waver), July 07, 2000.

FOCUS-ON GODS -LOVE[IN-CHRIST]=READ PSALM 103.the monster can,t live in the _>LIGHT OF GODS LOVE!!!

-- al-d. (dogs@zianet.com), July 07, 2000.

Ramblings...

I raise my eyes to the skies, peering into the great expanse with wonder at the blessings I receive each day.

Each of us can be delivered out from our respective personal hells at any time. Keep asking, pleading, demanding, for deliverance. Some suffer more deeply than others in myriad ways. Long is the trail of tears yet each day dawns with great promise. It must be so.

Do we say "Good morning, Lord" or "Good Lord, morning" as we greet the day? We have choices in how we perceive each moment. Use wisdom to create good habits of thought and action.

Despair is a painfully slow killer which must be defeated battle after battle, day after day. Get to know the warrior that is you. Nurture the warrior spirit, rise up in defense of love, hope & compassion.

Today may be that day of exodus from bondage to freedom. Are you prepared to grab it and hang on for all your worth? How badly do you want it?

These are questions which must be sought internally. Go there often.

Peace to all,

-- Bingo1 (howe9@shentel.net), July 08, 2000.

Awesome post, Bingo. I agree.

-- Oxy (Oxsys@aol.com), July 08, 2000.

ALL lifes question,s are answered in GODS word! times & season,s-trial,s & refreshing,s all work to-gether!

-- al-d. (dogs@zianet.com), July 08, 2000.