I'm Destiny's Child

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Do you believe in destiny? That we are all moving forward to an inevitable conclusion? Do you believe that everything is random and nothing adds up to anything? Or perhaps something inbetween?

-- Kymm (hedgehog@hedgehog.net), July 06, 2000


I don't think I want to believe in destiny.

I also don't want to think about rushing forth blindly into the utterly unknown.

I think I would rather believe in a pint of beer and Flintstones reruns every night, without fail, on the Cartoon Network.

I think that says something I didn't want to say about me and destiny, though.

-- Jen (maharishe@yahoo.com), July 06, 2000.

When my then-boyfriend (now-husband) and I met online, a song sung by Natalie Merchant had the line "Fate smiled, and destiny blah blah blah", which I misheard as "Fate smiled at destiny", and that became our catch-phrase for the longest time, like Fate smiled at Destiny, and they brought us together.

Which doesn't answer the question at all, I realize.

Sometimes I believe in destiny, and sometimes I think life's just a big ol' crapshoot. But I prefer to believe in destiny, because it's more comforting to think that things happen because they're supposed to.

-- Robyn (robyn@hiwaay.net), July 06, 2000.

I thought it was "Fate smiled at Destiny," too. Huh. I liked it better that way.

-- Jackie (jackie@jackie.nu), July 06, 2000.

I've developed a belief in destiny to some degree. I strongly feel that life should be relatively simple, and that if something is presenting a real problem, this should be seen as a sign that the option may not be right. For me, this applies to bad relationships, shitty jobs ... anything which can be changed for the better, and means I have tried to never continue with something when all the signs are pointing to it being wrong.

I also strongly believe in Karma, and feel we get the treatment we deserve. I could be an absolute bitch when I was younger, but since moving to the UK in 1997 I've made a concerted effort to be positive, compassionate and happy. And my life has completely rocked ever since - I met and married my husband, we bought a flat with ease, and my job situation is fab. So I'm a big fan of reaping the advantages of positive living.

Considering I'm also a Catholic, it's easy to see I'm really a big mystical enigma!

-- Jackie (jackiec@diaryland.com), July 07, 2000.

The only part of Destiny I really believe in is Actions=consequences. Your actions determine your destiny. My theory falls down a little in the death of a friend recently. Basically good, gentle, cheery soul, and he drowned last weekend aged 24. Silly accident, playing around in a local lake. I guess that still comes down to Actions=consequences, being sensible in water, which is a naturally dangerous medium for humans.

A childhood family friend believes, as a part of her Christianity, that everything is pre-determined, pre-destined, and everything happens for a reason. For me, this logically dictates no matter what you do, you can't change anything, and that's just not what I could let myself believe, far too fatalistic. Of course, I was born a white, middle class western woman in the 20th century, so I have a lot more control over my destiny than if I was born born in a previous time, or with less money, or in a culture that puts women somewhere around the status of a piece of furniture.

I am by nature a control freak, so this idea of Destiny freaks me out on all levels, from Crocodile brain to Ego.

-- Amanda Page (amanda@amandasprecipice.com), July 07, 2000.

Something in-between. I don't think that every move, every decision is pre-determined, but I do think that certain occurances, certain events are "meant to happen" and free will comes into play when we decide how to handle those occurances.

Case in point - in '92 I went to a female friend's Halloween party. I had gone the previous year with a male friend that I had a huge crush on, got tipsy, and while I didn't make a fool of myself, I was a bit more obvious than usual. This time I invited my friend again, but he turned me down, though we did see a movie the night before the party.

Anyway, there were also supposed to be a bunch of people from work at the party, but none of them showed up. If my male friend or co-workers had shown up, I would have spent the night hanging out with them, because I'm very shy at parties. Instead I was forced to mingle and ended up dancing with a really nice man named Erik. Turns out he was a co-worker of my female friend's boyfriend (at whose house the party was being thrown). They weren't exactly friends (Robert was leaving his job, with Erik as his replacement) and Erik originally wasn't planning on going to the party, but decided to go at the last minute.

That night we kissed and within a week we were seeing each other. The relationship lasted only six months (and two months after we broke up I was dating the male friend I mentioned earlier, which did last for three years, but that's another story). But Erik and I remained great friends and our meeting significantly changed the course of both of our lives, for the better.

Why this story? Because I have believed from the beginning that Erik and I were fated to meet. There were a number of things that were supposed to happen that would have kept us from meeting, but none of them happened.

However, I don't think it's fate that's causing me to post this story. Or is it?

-- Carol (webgal@ordinarygoddess.com), July 12, 2000.

i belive in destiny they rule im destiny child!!!!!!@!

-- karma (karma_kamal@hotmail.com), October 19, 2001.

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