I've been lurking here long enough to believe that many of you would enjoy this definition of motherhood, passed along to me by a friend:

A few months ago, when I was picking up the children at school, another mother I knew well rushed up to me. Emily was fuming with indignation." Do you know what you and I are?" she demanded. Before I could answer and I didn't really have one handy - she blurted out the reason for her question. It seemed she had just returned from renewing her driver's license at The County Clerk's office. Asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation, Emily had hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. What I mean is," explained the recorder, "do you have a job, or are you just a .....?" "Of course I have a job," snapped Emily. "I'm a mother." "We don't list 'mother' as an occupation...'housewife' covers it," said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high-sounding title like "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar." "And what is your occupation?" she probed. What made me say it, I do not know. The words simply popped out. "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations." The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair, and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pompous pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire. "Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?" Coolly, without any trace of luster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research (what mother doesn't) in the laboratory and in the field (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters (the whole darned family) and already have four credits (all daughters). "Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are in satisfaction rather than just money." There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants - ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model (6 months) in the child-development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt triumphant! I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another mother."

Motherhood...what a glorious career. Especially when there's a title on the door.

-- J.E. Froelich (dragnfly@chorus.net), July 04, 2000

Answers

God bless you!! The title and job description should be memorized by all of the mothers out there. It encompasses all of the vital ingredients of this most important of carrers(sp?), while sounding academic enough to keep the pinheads happy. Proof once again that Style over substance rules in the land. Bless you again. I can't wait to show this to the wife! John

-- john mengel (jsmengel@freewwweb.com), July 04, 2000.

Bravo!!! I'm going to print your post and pass it along to several of my "work-at-home" friends. Until motherhood is again given the respect it deserves, your eloquent definition will encourage others who have chosen this noble position.

-- Liz Rhein (merhein@shentel.net), July 04, 2000.

Oops, I guess I should've put it in all caps (I don't know how to make this appear in bold). I DIDN'T WRITE IT. I just passed it along -- a friend sent it to me, who got it from her daughter, who got it from ?? I don't even know if it's a true story, but it sure does make a point, doesn't it! LOL!

-- J. E. Froelich (dragnfly@chorus.net), July 04, 2000.

I thought "Domestic Engineer" was good, until I read this! Bravo! The hand that rocks the cradle ( and puts food on the table ), rules the world!

-- Kathy (catfish@bestweb.net), July 04, 2000.

Good one! I usually call myself Domestic Goddess.

-- Helen (bluechicken@wildbearnet.net), July 05, 2000.

so i'm almost 2 years late-i loved this!!!!how great to be able to think so quickly on your feet!!!

-- laura (okgoatgal@hotmail.com), April 04, 2002.