A Sasquatch alert in the Hoh Rain Forest

Saturday, July 1, 2000

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

PORT ANGELES -- Gene Sampson doesn't know what's been lurking in the woods behind his home on the Hoh Indian Reservation.

But he knows what he's seen -- he describes them as giant footprints -- and what he's heard:

"Bam, bam, bam, stop, bam, bam, bam, stop, bam, bam, bam," Sampson said this week.

His tales have residents on the reservation, near the Hoh Rain Forest on the Pacific Coast, locking their doors, shutting their blinds and closing their windows.

Sampson said some Hoh natives believe the invader is the elusive Bigfoot, also known as Sasquatch, the large, hairy creature that has been reported around the world but is most closely identified with the Pacific Northwest.

Sampson says he found two sets of footprints, which he measured at 14 inches and 17-1/2 inches in length, and 7 and 8 inches in width. He also says he found trampled trails.

The Bureau of Indian Affairs investigated and is skeptical.

"I saw some big indentations that looked like footprints, but they were not that recognizable," said the bureau's Scott Small. "There is something big going through their yards, but it's most likely a bear."

Grover Krantz, a retired Washington State University anthropology professor and author of a book called "Big Footprints," said he believes the evidence on the Hoh reservation indicates one male and one female Sasquatch.

Richard Greenwell of the International Society for Cryptozoology calls evidence of such creatures inconclusive.

"On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, I absolutely believe in Bigfoot, after I evaluate all the data and read all the information," Greenwell said. "On Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, I think it's all nonsense.

"On Sundays, I rest."

-- Big Foot (bigfoot@thewoods.com), July 01, 2000

Answers

Hmmm. Now I wonder.

UPS delivered a large box, marked "fragile" to me yesterday. On the bottom of the box were very large shoeprints from "someone" wearing sneakers, approximately 15 inches in length. Three of the shoeprints went from right to left. Four of the shoeprints went from left to right.

Since everyone knows that a UPS employee would NEVER turn a fragile box upside down, stand on top of it, walk across it, then turn around and walk back in the other direction, this news article presents a more believable possibility! A Susquatch mugged the UPS driver, knocked him unconscious, stole his tennis shoes, carjacked the delivery truck, turned all the boxes upside down and walked on them, then proceeded to deliver them to their correct addresses.

You be the judge.

-- (I'm a@little.teapot), July 01, 2000.

I saw a neandrathal looking dude driving around in Everett yesterday. Perhaps he had big foot.

-- Small Foot (smallfoot@'da.hood), July 01, 2000.