The thermodynamics of Hell-final exam, Philosophy 101

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Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1)- If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2)- Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you." and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus. I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

The student received the only "A" given.

-- Lars (lars@indy.net), June 24, 2000

Answers

HELL IS A STATE OF MIND.'dante,s hell is a lie' satan is too busy,decieving the world=too be in hell torturing folk. why would he WASTE his time on those he won,by deception?? JESUS came to seek & save,not too kill & fry. we can choose!!!

-- al-d. (dogs@zianet.com), June 24, 2000.

JESUS al, it's a GODDAMN joke. For CHRIST'S sake, don't you ever get off your friggin' soapbox long enough to chuckle once in a while? for the love of GOD, you're getting tiresome.

-- getting a little weary (of@l.d), June 25, 2000.

getting weary:

I was surprised by al-D's post. I'd been under the impression that he was preaching fire and brimstone, and I'm now seeing him agree more with Hawk's philosophy that hell is a state of mind.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), June 25, 2000.


Smart kid.

-- Carlos (riffraff1@cybertime.net), June 25, 2000.

Don't believe in hell. Hell is a state of mind, or else, misery ususally of our own making.

-- gilda (jess@listbot.com), June 25, 2000.


Blew my doors off too, Anita. That's not the al-d I know & bristle at. "Hell is a state of mind." al-d you're becoming a regular "new ager", buddy. LOL!

Happy Sunday Everyone,

-- Bingo1 (howe9@shentel.net), June 25, 2000.


You all realize, of course, that this has been floating around the Internet for a few years now?

-- E.H. Porter (Just Wondering@About.it), June 25, 2000.

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