Ever since becoming parents, my wife and I have realized that we have allowed our roles as Mom and Dad to take a higher level of importance than our roles as Husband and Wife.

We are not happy with that, believe me...but are finding it hard to fix....any ideas? any one finding the same to be true?

-- Bob (and_if_I_die@hotmail.com), June 24, 2000

Answers

Bob, I find the same thing is true with Kevin and I. Since we only have one child, I feel like we're in pretty good balance, but occasionally, we both feel the burden of responsibility moreso than other times and it's overwhelming.

The key for me is keeping spontanaeity (as much as possible - even if it isn't a lot) in the relationship. Even if it involves the kiddos...the idea of picking up and deciding to go somewhere on the spur of the moment, or getting a sitter and just the two of us going out (which is an extremely rare treat).

But, as you know, as parents, we compromise up our identities as husband and wife to a certain extent to be mommies and daddies. It would be nice if you could always do both.

-- Allison (allison@nccoast.net), June 25, 2000.