For you football fans...

When I first heard of this last night, I thought it was a joke, but it's been announced by ABC that comedian Dennis Miller will be in the broadcast booth during Monday Night Football. That oughtta be "interesting" to say the least. I'm not quite sure what I think of this. I like Miller's dry humor but I'm afraid it could get real old real fast if he starts taking unwarranted "cheap shots" at your favorite team/players. (He is *not* a savy football "analyst".)

Along with Miller in the booth will be Dan Fouts (a good choice in my opinion) and, as usual, Al Michaels with the play by play commentary. It's interesting to know that ABC almost chose Rush Limbough(SP?). There were a lot of fan polls in which Rush was an option and he finished very strong on most of them. Personally, I think he would have been a better selection than Miller. (Apparently he is quite knowledgable of the game.)

Regardless of how good or bad Miller and Fouts turn out to be, at least it's a step up from the incredibly boring Dan Dierdorf and Boomer Esiason. (I long for the good ol' days of Dandy Don Merideth and Howard Cosell.)

So any of you football fans have an opinion about this announcement?

-- CD (costavike@hotmail.com), June 23, 2000

Answers

Yeah CD, I have been following this very closely as a good buddy of mine is in the business. Turns out that Fouts was a done deal sometime ago and there were two guys ahead of Miller for the third spot; Rush and Jim Rome. ABC was not able to work around the commitments that Rush and Jim are contracted to so Dennis is in there. You will find out that he is a very savvy football guy and I think it should make for good entertainment. Fouts could get lost in the shuffle if they are not careful.

-- Ra (tion@l.1), June 23, 2000.

Dennis Miller? What did they do put 3000 names in a hat and pick one? I personally think Bobcat Goldwhaite would be able to carry on a more cogent discussion than Dennis Miller.

-- Every Day Life (beza@wa.freei.net), June 23, 2000.

Personally, I'd love to see this, and I'm not even a football fan. I really think Dennis Miller is one of the most brilliant humorists/comedians in decades. And it has little to do with his use of big words at times. I've seen him ad-lib (he was doing live commentary on a Clinton State of the Union Address) and I thought he was fantastic -- extremely quick, and, IMHO even funnier and sharper at pure verbal ad-lib than Robin Williams, although I think few can touch Williams when it comes to impressions and physical antics.

Of course, they'll probably make him tone down and get more serious with the football thing. And if that happens...I'm outta there.

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), June 23, 2000.

Ice-T or Mister T would make a good addition.

-- The T Man (T2@t.boy), June 23, 2000.

Good info, Ra.

Rome huh? He'd a been an excellent choice in my opinion. Too bad he was already committed.

Re: Miller- "You will find out that he is a very savvy football guy". Well that's good to know. Still, I think I'd rather see someone in there who's been closer to the game. (Ron Jaworski would have probably been my first choice.)

You have a buddy in the biz huh. Two questions: 1) Can he get you tickets to the Cowboys vs Vikings game in Dallas next Thanksgiving? 2) If so, what'll it take for me to bribe you out of them ;)?

I personally think Bobcat Goldwhaite would be able to carry on a more cogent discussion than Dennis Miller -"Every Day Life"

Rumor has it that Bobcat was considered but was ruled out for fear he would set the booth afire.

-- CD (costavike@hotmail.com), June 23, 2000.

CD, think about the ratings that would get ABC

-- Every Day Life (beza@wa.freei.net), June 23, 2000.

CD, by next Thanksgiving the Boys and the Vikes will be in the toilet and those ducats will be cheap and plentiful. My guy works for ABCs West Coast production group and doesnt get too many free passes to the games, oh well. I too would have loved to see The Pimp in the Jungle in the MNF booth. OUT!

-- Ra (tion@l.1), June 23, 2000.

Interesting choice to say the least.

They're obviously trying to boost some ratings by bringing in a different demo group draw. MNF ratings have been steadily declining.

He'll need to watch his mouth though. His show ain't on late on HBO for nothing.....

Deano

-- Deano (deano@luvthebeach.com), June 23, 2000.

dennis miller = jackoff

-- (that's@my.opinion), June 23, 2000.

I agree with Eve. Nothing could get me to watch MNF more than Dennis. Have any of you read his anti-Hillary rant?

"Ah, Hillary. What can you say about Hillary Clinton that hasn't already been muttered under somebody else's breath?

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but love Hillary Clinton or hate her, you'd better get used to her because, like a retired Celine Dion, she's not going away any time soon.

Now, traditionally the role of the First Lady has been maintaining an inviting atmosphere at the White House and then picking a special pet project to keep her occupied. Jackie Kennedy chose celebrating the arts, Lady Bird Johnson the environment. Hillary Clinton's pet project? Total world domination.

Look, I won't lie to you. This country has a deep fear and mistrust of strong, smart, accomplished, outspoken women unless they're sexy 22-year-olds killing vampires on television. But what do we really know about Hillary, other than that she's had more make overs than Sammy "The Bull" Gravano's wife?

Well, for one thing, we know Hillary is an insanely loyal spouse. I don't understand how she can be in the same house as Bill without wacking him in the nuts with a polo mallet every time he falls asleep on the couch.

But the Clintons are a rare breed. For many people the idea of running for office, forcing the public to choose whether they like you or not, would be a nightmare. But Hillary and Bill need the assurance that 46% of the country loves them, and the other 54% is out to get them. That's why I'm different. I know all of you like me. Right? Don't you?

[HIT APPLAUSE SIGN, SHOW APPLAUSE SIGN ON CAMERA]

See, I knew I was right.

Bill and Hillary possess that rare blend of grade A Machiavellian caginess combined with the luck of a two-time Powerball winner. Who but the Clintons could see one of their opponents bow out of a senate race plagued by, of all things, charges of marital infidelity?

I'm sure when reports about Giuliani's mistress surfaced, the Clintons laughed so hard they could almost hear each other from across the hall in their separate bedrooms.

Now, critics have asked why Hillary chose to run in New York instead of Arkansas. You know, I think it has something to do with Arkansas being in Arkansas.

But New York? Who does she think she's fooling? Hillary Clinton actually had to go on a listening tour to find out what the residents of New York want. C'mon, you can't spend fifteen seconds with a New Yorker without discovering not only what he wants, but who he wants dead and when he was last operated on. And believe it or not, New Yorkers are buying it. She's actually working her magic on a bunch of people who pride themselves on the fact that they cannot be snookered. I can only assume this is karma for fucking the Indians over on that bead thing.

I can't believe they can't see how phony she is. Don't they see through those perfectly prepared speeches, where every brittle smile has been pre-programmed to last exactly the right number of seconds to express humility without veering off into self-doubt? You know what I want? I want to see if she can tell me her home phone number. I want her to tell me what's in her refrigerator, or what her mailman's name is, or when she last parallel parked a fucking car. I want her to tell me about the life she does lead rather than the life she thinks I should lead.

Anyway, here's how I think it's going to play out in November and beyond. Hillary wins the Senate seat in New York. Now, you would think she wants Gore to be the next President, but she actually needs Bush to win. Then the Clinton machine starts a back-channel campaign attacking Bush for the next four years.

Bush is such a massive nitwit that he won't seal the deal for reelection in 2004, so Hillary runs against Dopey and becomes the great white female hope.

Then we begin to think, if we can elect the son of a President, why the hell not the wife of a president? Next thing you know, Bill's back cruising trim in the West Wing without any of that bullshit running-the-country-thing to get in the way, plus, this now gives the Clintons eight years to get the 22nd Amendment repealed and get themselves sworn in as the fucking King and Queen of America... Hey, just you watch.

Now, I generally don't subscribe to the grossly sexist theory that women who seek power are secretly compensating for something that's missing from their lives, but in Hillary's case it's so pathetically obvious. I guarantee you, if Bill Clinton flies home this week from Europe, stops in Manhattan long enough to pick up a couple dozen long-stemmed roses, a bottle of Cristal and a La Perla negligee, then heads up to Chap-a- qua, glides in through the front door, slaps a little Francis Albert Sinatra on the CD player, picks Hillary up in his arms like he's Richard Gere and she's Deborah Winger in a paper mill, carries her up the stairs, and spends the rest of the weekend showing her exactly what his definition of "is" is, well, my friends, I think Rick Lazio will be running for the Senate unopposed.

Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong."

I've also read that he spouted football facts off the top of his head at the interview. He considers himself to be somewhat of a football "nerd."

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), June 24, 2000.

Anita,

Thanks,that gets the chuckle of the day.

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), June 24, 2000.

I really must agree with "thats@my.opinion". Dennis Miller is completely and thoroughly unfunny. His mere presence is (and will be) detrimental to any association foolish enough to keep him on.

-- aqua (aqu@fin.a), June 24, 2000.

Aqua, I find it difficult to understand why anybody would not appreciate Dennis Miller's humor unless you just dont get it. But then I thought Water World was the biggest bomb of all time.

-- Ra (tion@l.1), June 24, 2000.

LOL at almost every paragraph, 'Nita! Thanks.

In fact, now I'm going to look up whether I just had a significant calorie loss from the laughing, allowing me to take a guilt-free nap.

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), June 24, 2000.

I admit, I was not aware that Dennis Miller was football-savvy. That just elevates him several notches in my eyes (he's already "up there", as far as I'm concerned).

I think he'll be an interesting addtion to MNF (which has been way too boring since the days of Dandy Don and Howard "The Man You Love To Hate" Cosell).

Only problem I see is his brand of humor. I confess.....I watch him and sometimes it's like 30 minutes later I sit there and say, "Oh, yeah, I get it now". I can't help but wonder how Joe Q. Football Fan is gonna "warm up" to him.

Can't wait 'til the first game :-)

Anita, that was hilarious.....I'm with eve, going to check on any possible weight loss.....

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), June 24, 2000.

Hi Patricia,

It's good to see you're still around. And I hear ya re the 30- minute gaps. I'd almost be willing to bet that at least once I had a DM "OGodwhenamigonnagetit-gap" of so long, I was probably in my car somewhere, suddenly got a joke, started laughing hysterically, forgot where I was, and came to yet another full stop at a green light.

Really, though. I'm notorious for being absent-minded at times, and coming to full stops at green lights. Sometimes I don't know how I made it to this age...

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), June 24, 2000.

Omigawd...the chicks, for the first time, have almost taken over a football thread! It suddenly becomes more clear now about ABC's marketing strategy in signing Dennis Miller...

Hey guys -- y'all better start lookin' for a second La-Z-Boy for the TV room...

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), June 24, 2000.

XXXXX DRUDGE REPORT XXXXX FRIDAY JUNE 23, 2000 14:01:07 ET XXXXX

MONDAY NIGHT FIGHT! DENNIS MILLER: 'NO ONE IS MORE FULL OF HIMSELF THAN RUSH LIMBAUGH'

A full-blown media battle has erupted between comedian Dennis Miller and Rush Limbaugh supporters coast-to-coast over the selection of Miller to be ABCs new color commentator on Monday Night Football.

"No one is more full of himself, or, for that matter, more full, than Rush Limbaugh," Miller recently said of the nation's top talkshow host.

Limbaugh, who auditioned for the Monday night slot, and who has pulled in millions of dollars of ad revenue for ABC stations with his daily broadcast, was passed over after top DISNEY executives determined he would be too controversial for the sports franchise.

"Rush is too controversial? And Miller is not? Miller uses the 'F-word' every chance he gets on his HBO show. Has this guy been vetted?" asked one Limbaugh supporter within ABC.

For his part, Limbaugh took the high road on his Friday radio program.

"There's not a whole lot to say," Limbaugh announced. "There are no sour grapes. I love the program, I wish them the best."

But Miller's recent comments have caused immediate outrage among Limbaugh fans.

"Limbaugh articulates the blindingly white anger of every short-sleeved Wal-mart assistant manager in America who's outraged because a black kid called him by his first name," Miller declares in a book released last week.

"Limbaugh is emblematic of what's wrong with the medium," rants Miller.

"I don't have all that much to say about Rush Limbaugh, because Al Franken already wrote a book that cut him into ten million pieces, each of which weighed roughly half a pound."

During a Comic Relief concert, Miller gave a 'thumbs-up' when host Whoopi Goldberg called Limbaugh a "fat as*hole."

-- (news@from.drudge), June 24, 2000.

"Hey guys -- y'all better start lookin' for a second La-Z-Boy for the TV room..."

Sorry Eve, you and Anita won't be getting any seats in my game room, not if all you are going to do is sit around and criticize Hillary during the game. And if Dennis Miller does it, I'll turn the sound off on the TV and listen to commentary on the radio. Sports and Politics don't mix.

-- Hawk (flyin@hi.again), June 24, 2000.

Hawk, that's cool. Just skip the second La-Z-Boy (of course, it would have been a really expensive one, with fine Corinthian leather  cant ya just hear Ricardo Montalban advertising it? -- and gold-plated studs, with its own oak and marble coffee table and stained glass overhanging lamp) and use the money for a second TV and a soundproofed partition for your game room. Well be ok with a cheap second-hand couch and/or chair(s). Oh yes, youd have a window in the partition with an intercom so's we can enjoy the game "together," whenever we want to.

For our part  well bring the popcorn and beer. And we'll all be happy. :)

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), June 25, 2000.

Hawk:

You know my politics. Do you really think I'd sit around criticizing Hillary? Miller's Hillary Rant was great, IMO, because he managed to make fun of EVERYONE, not in the raw attack mode of pigboyRush, but in story form.

I doubt he'll say anything relating to politics on MNF. He WILL have to refrain from saying things like, "Wow....he cut through that line faster than O.J. cut through Nicole's jugular." He'll ALSO have to ensure that the "average" football fan understands his commentary.

One of the reasons I don't watch sports on T.V. in general is due to the commentators.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), June 25, 2000.

He WILL have to refrain from saying things like, "Wow....he cut through that line faster than O.J. cut through Nicole's jugular."

LOL! Good one, Anita.

Omigawd...the chicks, for the first time, have almost taken over a football thread! It suddenly becomes more clear now about ABC's marketing strategy in signing Dennis Miller -Eve

I think you're on to something there, Eve. Obviously ABC is trying to reach a broader audience [pun intended].

-- CD (costavike@hotmail.com), June 25, 2000.

Ra, I consider it dumbed-down, poorly written, occasionally vulgar (though not in a funny way) humor. The idiotic smirk he gives while telling sorry jokes in his shrill, nasal voice makes me want to see him on the line for a quarter or two without helmet or pads. I agreed with the "thats@my.opinion" fellow because I think jerkoff suits him well.

The fact that you find him funny and I do not merely illustrates our differences in taste (thought patterns? experiences?). I won't hold it against you that you can laugh at his rambling if you can forgive me for not wanting to watch.

-- aqua (aqu@fin.a), June 26, 2000.

Whats to forgive Aqua? You either like um or not. I never could stomach Sienfeld so go figure.

-- Ra (tion@l.1), June 26, 2000.