1.If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

2.If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered to be a hostage situation?

3.Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?

4.What's another word for synonym?

5.Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

6.When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?

7.When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

8.Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

9.Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

10.Why do they report power outages on TV?

11.What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

12.If you can be totally impartial, is it possible to be totally partial?

13.If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

14.Would a fly that loses its wings be called a walk?

15.Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

16.If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?

17.If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? 18.If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong? fraid so :)

19.If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?

20.Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

21.Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? 22.If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

23.Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

24.If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), June 15, 2000

Answers

If Deb thinks she hidden, but someone knows who she is....is she REALLY hidden?

:-)

-- (ct@no.yr), June 16, 2000.

Anyone got a clue what that's about?

And which Deb? And who would she be hiding here as, since we've all known each other for years? (Old Git..? LOL) Or is it Git hiding someplace else as "Deb"..? But Deb and I both used to party at the Osprey...was I really partying with Git? But Deb wasn't old. Okay, she wasn't old THEN...but than that would make me old...now...oh gosh, I'm not THAT old. But wait, that wasn't Deb, that was Debra, is that the same thing?

Wait, who is ct@no.yr? Where have I seen that before? Was it in the library with a dagger? The parlour with a rope? Racking my brain. I have to go to dinner, when I come back I want answers, dammit. This is all Gits fault, naming a thread "Questions..".

The appropriate action will have to be taken immediately. Let me check the manual. Oh My God, we have no manual? It was eaten by what? A drunken crazed baby beaver? NO! What to do? A new manual will have to be appropriated at once! We'll have to steal one, yes..that's it, steal one, from one of the other forums. I need a volunteer! Who will do the deed for me?

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), June 16, 2000.

*I* will steal whatever you want, Kritter Dearest. Just tell me what you want, where it is, and how to go about getting it.

(didja get my pun-address? huh?)

-- helen (re@d.y), June 16, 2000.

Ever see one of those signs saying, "Only seeing eye dogs allowed"?

-------------------------------------------------

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), June 27, 2000.

Is that a rhetorical question?

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), June 28, 2000.

Didn't you have enough of this that night we chatted in questions only?

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), June 28, 2000.

Can you ever ask enough questions?

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), June 28, 2000.

Can we ever have enough answers?

-- Tim (pixmo@pixelquest.com), July 04, 2000.

What will it take to make Kritter admit defeat?

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), July 04, 2000.

Wasn't I the first to give up the last time we played this?

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), July 04, 2000.

Hey, Did I just see Tim?

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), July 04, 2000.

Who's Tim? :-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), July 05, 2000.

I AM ARTHUR, KING OF THE BRITONS. Know where I could find some shrubbery, not too expensive? ;-)

-- Tim (pixmo@pixelquest.com), July 05, 2000.

What kind of shrubbery?

Did you know that I'll be leaving for holidays tomorrow and won't be able to write here?

Will you keep going on this, or wait 'til I return?

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), July 06, 2000.

Tricia, Where are you going? Will you 6e gone long?

Tim, will you find a shru66est in time to apease the Knights of Nee?

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), July 06, 2000.

If it's a silent night, do they call themselves "EE's"?

Can there ever be two many other answers, if the first chicken didn't cross the road?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 06, 2000.

Why did the first chicken cross the road? Was there more than one? Did the su6sequent chickens cross for other reasons?

-- Hard Questions (NoEasy@answers.here), July 06, 2000.

.... two 66's or not two 66's; now, what was the question?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 07, 2000.

Is this the thread where you answer a question with a question?

-- Tim (pixmo@pixelquest.com), July 07, 2000.

Don't you like that game?

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), July 07, 2000.

What game?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 07, 2000.

We're playing a game??

-- Brooke (Happiness@Hill.top), July 07, 2000.

Will there 6e rules? Will the letter "6" 6e among them?

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), July 07, 2000.

Can I play, too?

-- (sis@home.zzz), July 07, 2000.

Whose who's on which first?

Can there 6e more than one first if there are two bb's on second in the third place?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 07, 2000.

BB's on second base? I didn't even know he played baseball! :-)

Didn't Abbott say 'What' was on second base, and 'I Don't Know' was on third?

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), July 07, 2000.

Who's on first? But what's second if that's third?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 07, 2000.

If second is third, does that make third fourth?
Who was First again?
WAsn't he in Jurassic Park?


-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), July 08, 2000.

Second? First? Fourth? Anyone keeping count?

-- Tim (pixmo@pixelquest.com), July 08, 2000.

We're supposed to keep count? Do I have to start over?

-- Confused (Is@StateOf.Mind), July 09, 2000.

Can I plead the fifth?

Take the fifith?

If I take, where doth it lead me?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 10, 2000.

.....Where did Webster look up his words?

-- Patrick (pmchenry@gradall.com), July 10, 2000.

Did I return to the FRL at the wrong time?
Did anyone miss me?
Shall I go 6ye-6ye again?
Do I have to use a 6 when I mean to use a b?

-- Linda (former newbie now lurker@messyhouse.com), July 11, 2000.

Linda, anytime you return to the FRL is the RIGHT time!

Good to see you again. Checkout the saga thread (if you got a day to kill), and the mule thread, where helen is being as mean as ever to my evil twin (don't they know they are just ASKING for it?)

Oh, and the thread about the FRL for newbys, where kritter becomes possesed, (or maybe she was always like that, I wonder?)

Anway, pull up a beanbag, get a cat in your lap, and let your hair down. Or, pull out your hair, let a cat down, and lap up some jiggle juice, either way, we're glad you're back.

---------------------------------------------------------

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), July 11, 2000.

Lon ----- Lon, whyfour art thou are not asking the answers to the wrong questions in this there questioned thread?

.... and didn't it be the case that kritter didn't get possesed in the "Welcome Thread" but actually related the story (she claims!0 that she was dispossed of three keys on her keyborad - but can't only not type on the "b" key - which becomes the "6" key - hence the question "To 6 or not to 6? - That is the question."....but it isn't really a question since it is a statement that it is really a statement that it is a question?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 11, 2000.

Lon: Do you know how glad I am that you are glad to see me? (How sorry I am to hear of your 6rother's cancer, and your son's health pro6lems?)
Did I tell you how much I have enjoyed the first chapters of your latest (and greatest) saga?
Since I'm allergic to cats, is it ok if I just cuddle my poodle (Sir Cook won't pervert that phrase, will he?)while I catch up with youse guys?
Is the gang still here? Tricia, the Canuckcukckckukkian? Ro6, our fearless leader and contri6utor to your latest masterpiece of word pictures? Ashton and Leska of merciful hospice fame? Donna with her sheets to the wind? King of Spain? DieTeR? Diane? Grey6ear? (Didn't he marry Miss Lily?) Old Git of Grit?
Have I worn out my welcome yet?

-- Linda (clutter taking over@home.com), July 11, 2000.

Linda, most of the gang's still here, just not as often as we'd like. Trish has shown a complete, irresponsible lack of compassion and gone on vacation without my evil twin. Old Git get's in occasionaly. A&L come slumming once in a blue moon, and every now and again we see the Greybear and his new handler. Some others are irregularly regular, thanks to the fiber in Rob's and my saga thread, and others are MIN (missing in nonsense).

I don't know where Donna blew off to in her sheet, and we seldom see Diane or Unk D. But we got a lot of new folks dropping by, and if kritter don't run them all off, we're gonna be just fine.

(Oh, and BTW, I wouldn't cuddle my poodle in front of Robert Cook, if I were you, know what I mean?)

--------------------------------------------------------

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), July 11, 2000.

(((((Linda... Newbie but no dummy))))) Good to see you back. This place is just as crazy as ever. Aliens, missing mules, telepathic dogs, you name it! We also have yummy cookie recipes! (Thanks Brooke!) Just don't ever ask Robert to 'cook' for you! And btw, Lon, I have NO problem with irregularity, thank you very much! :-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), July 11, 2000.

Gayla ((()))right back atcha!
Lon: My only (!) irregularity is trying to find time to find time to catch up with my FRL friends!

Can I add to the list of questions?
If I make my 19 year old son move out, will he hate me forever?
If we have my mother-in-law move in with us, will she drive me crazy? (Hey, cut the snickering out there! I know I'm a little eccentric, ok, maybe more than a little...OH NEVERMIND!)

Been missing you all!

-- Linda (It's messy 'cause we're movin@home.com), July 11, 2000.

Linda, if your mother in law moves in with you she WILL drive you crazy, and if you make your 19 year old son move out, he will hate you, but only until he discovers you drove him crazy and now that he's out on his own, it's nice. Give him one month to get over it.

Lon, I was possessed? When did I get exorcized? Or didn't I? I did, right? I'm not possessed anymore, am I? Please?? I don't want to vomit pea soup and have my head spin around...Oh GOD! Please tell me someone exorcized me!!!??!

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), July 11, 2000.

You can always get exorcised by walking around the block puddling your coodle ......

Of course, "I" wouldn't recommend puddling your coodle in public - if you know what I mean.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 12, 2000.

((((Linda))))!!!!!!

It's so good to see you again!

Having gotten that out of the way, should I return to questions?

Is there any reason not to??

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), July 13, 2000.

Return to questions?

Did you ever leave? Which leaf? Are you leafing now....or was that you puddling your coodle in the fall? After it falled, could you pick it up again?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 13, 2000.

Tricia, is that you? Can you believe I was just thinking of you?! How are things?

-- Linda (Willthenewhousebeour@home.com), July 13, 2000.

How existential should I be with my answer? How good can things get?

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net?), July 14, 2000.

How will things be whilst I be in Chicago with Jean - looking at science museums, harbor tours, submarines, and astronomy museums? Swaying in the Sears Tower - she wants to get seasick !?!

Back in a week....

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 19, 2000.

Submarines are cool!

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), July 20, 2000.

Did you all miss me?
Did I tell you I was listing my house?
Would you be amazed if I told you it sold in 5 days?!
For more than the asking price?
And closing on the 18th of August!?
Did I also tell you I bought a different house?
That the closing date on my new house is July 1?
That you're welcome to come and help me pack? :^)
Anybody know where the men with the little white jackets are?!

-- Linda with the ultraclean house is (packing@home.com), July 24, 2000.

Linda! WOOOHOOOO! How awesome! We've been thinking of moving, and everyone has had nothing but house selling/house closing horror stories to tell me. I'm so glad to hear how yours worked out so perfectly! Gives me encouragement!

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), July 24, 2000.

Linda, are you really moving?!?!

Weren't those men with the little white jackets headed your way?

Is your new house really nice, like I hope it is?

Have you talked to Lilly or Brooke about moving?

Did I forget to mention how nice it is to hear from you??

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), July 24, 2000.

Tricia: How could I have forgotten why the DH couldn't convince me to move?

Do you know how many boxes of stuff can accumulate in 16 years?! (I count 20 boxes of books alone!)

Anybody got an extra handcart/truck/99' trailer/pair of arms to help us move?

Do we paint? Do we paper? Do we carpet the beautiful oak floors? Area rugs? Remodel the pink and red tiled bathroom? (ew!) How about the lemon-yellow tiled bathroom? Fill the pool in with dirt? Quit speaking to each other before we even get moved out/in?!

And in honor of Miss Tricia:

Yes, really moving
our stuff is packed away
Four more days to go!

The white jacket guys
are reported near my house
Here I am, you guys!

A needy fam'ly
buying our well maintained home
we're glad to help out

Never a poet
the best haiku I can do
Mercif'ly I'm done!

-- Linda (they're coming to take me away) (hahahohohehe @ home.com), July 26, 2000.

Oh no! Did I kill three threads?

-- Linda (to the funny@farm.com), July 26, 2000.

Did you kill any threads?

How can I express my sympathy from so far away, (((Linda)))?

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), July 27, 2000.