Just some more silly stories-FRL#23

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"We are determined to capture those four beavers, and 'relocate' them so they won't be pests anymore," Ann told us, as Bill nodded his head in agreement.

"Rob, I remember a while ago you mentioned making a fake tree or something," Marie said.

"Actually, the idea of making an artificial sapling out of concrete and paint and stuff wasn't my idea," Rob admitted. "One of my friends from the FRL suggested it a while ago - Tricia, I think."

"Regardless of who thought of it, I believe it'll work," said Ann. "Our fake Sapling will be the bait, but how are we going to capture them?"

"Well," said Bill, "If we 'plant' it in an area that is close to the edge of the woods, we can lurk in an overhead tree and drop something on 'em. Maybe get a couple of weighted fishing nets, put 'em together, and when they show up, just drop the nets down on 'em."

"And we'll have to get more cages so that we have one for each of them," Marie said.

"OK, but who's gonna stay up in a tree all night waitin' for 'em," Rob asked?

Bill, Ann, and Marie exchanged quick looks, and smiled. They turned together, all three looking expectantly at Rob.

"Aw, Poop!" Rob exclaimed. The others began LOL at Rob's vexation.

"Serves you right," Marie said, "and besides, Bill has already done 'tree duty'."

At that remark, everyone is LOL, even Bill.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@story.teller), June 14, 2000


Response to Just some more silly stories

In only two days all is ready. Bill and Ann's yard is chosen as the theatre of operations since it is not far from the beavers dam. So the fake Sapling is created and 'planted' there, its concrete 'bark' painted in various shades of brown. It stands directly under a tall oak - one with several branches that overhang the counterfeit. Screen fencing is put in back of and on each side of the Sapling, to ensure the beavers will approach it only from one direction; the front. This means that Rob will have to climb further out on a limb, but it is the only way they can think of to avoid the net getting caught on the upper part of the Sapling after it is dropped.

As it begins getting dark, the team goes into action. Marie and Ann both carry several one-gallon water bottles over to the dock and, with as much splashing noise as possible, empty the water into the lake in the hopes of getting the beavers attention. Rob climbs the oak, keeping his net safely tucked inside his backpack so as not to have it tangle on any branches, and tries to get as comfortable as possible. He scopes out the best spot to lurk so that he may be able to drop the net effectively on the unsuspecting beavers. Bill is hidden just behind the edge of the woods, along with the four cages. After Rob drops the net, the plan is for Bill to dart out with a second net to help keep the beavers entangled. At this point, they will all work together to get the beavers in their individual cages.

Not far away they hear the splashing noises on the near-side of the lake and decide to investigate. After leaving their lodge and traversing the narrow strip of woods, they reach the lakeshore. They see the two people on the dock, but not the two that are hidden. They have seen and heard this same thing several times before, and know what the splashing noises mean. At least they think they do. The noises stop as the people leave the dock and walk away from the lakeshore, towards the house beyond. Now is the time. As one, all four beavers scamper into the water for the short swim to the dock area. It is time to play! The two largest, Eeny and Meeny go first, followed by Pat, while the always-cautious Miney follows last.

-- (sonofdust@story.teller), June 14, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

Marie and Ann circle round the house and arrive at the woods where Bill is hiding. They hear a voice from above; "I see 'em! They're coming!" Rob whispers excitedly. Everyone takes a deep breath. It's starting.

They arrive by the dock and paddle around. The water here smells and tastes the same as the rest of the lake. They were expecting something else: the familiar and wonderful smell and taste that they experienced before. After a short time, all four turn around and begin swimming back towards their dam - without so much as even a glance in the direction of the yard - or the fake Sapling.

"Why did they go away?" asked Ann.

"I think I know," Marie volunteered, as she talked out how they would have to try again tomorrow night, and what they would need to do differently.

"No way," Rob protested. "Bad enough there ain't no more jiggle juice. Now ya wanna go an' dump my Beer and Rum and other liquor into the lake? Sheesh!"

"Hold on now," Bill said as he cleared his throat. "I agree with R..."

"Shush Bill, Marie is right," Ann insisted. "It's the only way! We have some liquor also, Marie. Between us it should be enough. Nothing else is going to happen tonight. Now let's all go home and get some sleep."

-- (sonofdust@story.teller), June 14, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

Keep 'em coming, Rob!

(And the one with the creative idea wasn't me, unfortunately )

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), June 14, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

The next night the wives repeat what they had done yesterday, only what they are pouring into the lake tonight isn't water. As they empty the bottles, Marie and Ann can almost still hear their unhappy husbands moaning and groaning about 'wasting all that liquor'. What a pair of babies! Sheesh! The wives each save one bottle that they do not dump in the lake. Instead, they slowly empty these last bottles along the ground, while walking in a rough line from the shore to the Sapling. After this is done, they join Bill and Rob who are already in position and waiting. They come again, but this time the water by the dock smells and tastes different. Pleasantly different. They begin to play and splash along the surface. After a while, they leave the water and step onto the shore. Eeny, the only male and the most adventurous of the four, smells it first. He begins sniffing the ground of the shore and starts following the smell into the yard. The others follow. They are all feeling quite happy, although they're a little dizzy.

It isn't long before they see it. Another Sapling! Yummy! Eeny, Meeny, and even the usually cautious Miney run towards their prize. Only Pat hangs back a bit, at first, but soon catches up.

In seconds, they will all be there!

-- (sonofdust@Hi.Tricia), June 14, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

Things went according to plan, until Rob fell out of the tree knocking both himself and Pat out cold.

After dropping the net over the beavers, Rob looked down to find that Bill was already throwing the second net. Marie and Ann were both carrying the cages to where the beavers were. Eeny, Meeny, and Miney, were all momentarily startled, but quickly tried struggling to get free. Pat had a head of steam up from trying to catch the others and actually ended up passing them all, as Rob lost his balance and toppled from the limb above. What followed was confusion, and plenty of it.

Bill already had on his heaviest gloves and other protective gear that Rob lent him - the same gear that Rob once tried to use when attempting to give Murphy a bath. Bill managed to somehow get the three beavers into the cages with Ann's help, as Marie ran over to Rob.

He was in shock, with a lump already rising from his bruised head, and a trickle of blood coming out of the corner of his mouth. Then she noticed two teeth on the ground beside Rob - beaver teeth! Pat lost both it's teeth. Rob lost consciousness.

Both were alive, but both clearly needed medical attention.

Right away.

-- (sonofdust@allfall.down), June 14, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

get pat to a dentist!!!!! quick!!!!
(it's bad enough being andydrogenous......but what's a beaver without teeth??)

robert.....you hit the hammer right on the tail!!!
it was dieter who stole all my capitals (but the joke is on dieter, for you see, dieter is reduced to quite an ordinary character when dieter's name is typed by me......ha!)
the inside joke must be viewed with a periscope......(and a gold periscope at that).....the multiple mirrors being necessary........now do you see where you were going? wrong!

btw......maybe "stole" is a little too harsh.......dieter merely "traded" me all of my capitals for these little dots that invade my posts.......tho dieter would have to admit that this was done without my permission
but then, what else can you expect from someone who would kidnap a small pony and demand helen as the ransom???

-- mebs (mebs@joymail.com), June 15, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

So pat is at the dentist....But what happened to Andy?


Thank you my dear mebs. When you're as well orgainized as I am, tracking down captiolized dots becomes simpler.......except I'm trying to figure out how to capitolize a dot. Does it become an O.

Oh wellllllllll..

Speaking of which, by the way, since weren't speaking of orgainized sock drawers...I'm trying to figure out which white socks go which one another. See, this morning, I pulled out from the dryer seven white socks....

From top to bottom, left to right, or from first to last, whichever came next, they looked like this:

One had a single dark blue stripe at the top.

The next had a two thin black stripes.

The next had a stretchy piece of white elastic padding, but no stripe.

The next had a red "W" (for Wilson perhaps?) and a thin pair of two red & black stripes.

The next had no stripes, but no stretchy piece of white padding.

The next had a black "M," and no thin stripes at all.

The next had a two thick red stripes, and no letter.

Now, my question is, which two make a pair? See, Veronica wants me to put them all in white sock drawer by rollling matching socks together...

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), June 15, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

Robert: Just do what I did. Buy only bright red socks. Just remember to duct tape them together so that the dryer doesn't make them disappear. In the meantime, you can solve your current problem by getting really bright red dye and using that on all the non-compliant socks listed above. In other words, dye and buy! Hope this helps :)

-- (sonofdust@buy.dye), June 15, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

Marie got Rob to the emergency room in only twelve minutes - a new land speed record. That was only one reason she was now so thoroughly pissed off. They had been there for what seemed like an eternity and still nobody was coming to see Rob! She went over to the desk to speak with the admittance clerk for the third time. The clerk looked up, saw her coming, and frowned.

"I'm sorry, Mrs., um - the clerk looked down to the sheet of paper to see the last name - Michaels. But as I told you before, we need to have the forms completely filled out and I need all of his insurance information in order to finish processing him before the doctor can..."

"Look over there, you imbecile! That's my husband! He's been sitting in this damn waiting room for 40 minutes! He fell out of a tree, he has had a nasty knock on the head, he was in shock and unconscious, and he's spit up blood for crap sake! Now who the hell do I have to see to get some freakin' attention?"

"I can't process..."

"Were you Born Stupid or did you just take a 'stupid pill' today? Do you need for me to draw you a damn picture? I WANT A DOCTOR! NOW! NNNNNNNNOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!"

Fifteen miles away, luck was with Ann and Bill - and especially Pat. Ann had called their vet, Dr. Gold, and found out from her assistant that tonight they will close late, and would still be open for another half-hour. As Bill drove, Ann turned her head to look in the back seat and saw that Pat was waking up.

They arrived at the vet's office at what normally would be closing time and parked the car in front of the building. The vet's assistant, Julie, was evidently waiting for them, holding the door wide open and looking with genuine concern down at the cage and its occupant. The vet herself came right up to them and said "Bring the poor thing into the next room right away. I'll take care of this immediately."

Ann and Bill exchanged glances and thought "Wow! What service!" The service was in fact so good that they never had a chance to tell Dr. Gold or Julie about Pat's little secret...

"Oh! My heavens! Julie come here, you have to see this!"

Ann and Bill glanced at each other, and smiled.

-- (sonofdust@medical.attention), June 15, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

Several hours passed by the time Marie arrived home. She was still quite agitated. It turned out that Rob did indeed have a mild concussion, and would be staying overnight at the hospital, and possibly longer, for 'observation' as well as some further tests. Besides the concussion, he also had what the doctor called a 'trauma to the chest wall' and had badly bruised several ribs due to the way he landed. Miraculously, nothing was actually broken, though any rib injury takes a long time to heal evidently. He would be ok - in time.

Just he she was entering the house, she heard the phone ringing. It was Ann. Marie filled her in on everything that had happened since she drove Rob to the hospital. Then it was Ann's turn to do the talking:

"Would you believe they will have to make up replacement teeth for Pat? The vet said a beaver only has two teeth, and that they continue to grow all their lives! In fact, it is because they continue to grow that beavers gnaw things! Anyway, it is going to be expensive. Eight hundred dollars just for the two teeth. But she feels so sorry for the poor thing that she is going to implant them for free! She was really impressed with Pat. Never saw an androgynous beaver before I guess! She will be keeping Pat there until the new teeth are in and Pat has recovered - a week or more probably."

"But why are the teeth so expensive Ann?"

"Didn't I tell you? They have to made from something special...

from gold!"

-- (sonofdust@got.gold), June 15, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

Well of course they have to be made from Gold....Dr Gold is making them!

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), June 15, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

Rob had been home for five days by the time Pat was feeling well enough to leave the vet, and he wanted to go with Marie, Ann, and Bill for the trip into town to get the recovered beaver. First they got Eeeny, Meeny, and Miney and put their cages in the back of Bill's wagon, along with an empty cage for Pat. Then they drove to the vet to get Pat, who reportedly was still getting used to the two new gold teeth but otherwise doing fine.

It was the talk of the town when the expected release actually came. That's because almost the whole town knew of Pat within several days of dropping the injured beaver off for treatment. Everyone was excited about this 'truly special' animal that the local press had dubbed the 'Golden Beaver'. There were even two reporters from the local paper that came and snapped a few shots of Pat with his four 'human family members'. Pat reacted to the cameras by showing off the two new teeth, to everyone's delight.

After picking Pat up and meeting with the press, they drove around to the other side of the mountain where there is a small lake and released the four beavers from their cages. All of them went scurrying off into the water, happy to be together again, and happier still to be free.

Bill and Ann smiled at each other as they got back in the car. Rob and Marie lingered a little longer, watching the beavers swim in the lake. Already they were looking around to determine where their new home would be and eyeing a promising looking feeder stream.

"Things turned out ok after all Dear, for all of us," Rob said as he idly rubbed his still-sore side.

Marie nodded in agreement, but was thinking to herself: "Just wait 'till you get your half of the bill for those gold teeth! And to think Ann made a little mistake. It's not $800 for the two teeth - it's $800 for each one!"

They climbed into the wagon and joined Ann and Bill, and then headed back to the other side of the mountain - to their own lake, and own home.

The mission was accomplished.

-- (sonofdust@The.End), June 15, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

Oh no! What if some bad meany decides to trap Pat to get the gold teeth? What if Rob and Marie's automatic transmission breaks on their way home from the lake? Will this beaver episode make Rob and Marie start wishing for little pitter patters around the house again? Will they be able to afford a transmission AND a gold tooth? Will they have to beg for donations? Will this make them argue even more? Will Marie let Rob recover inside the house? Will Pat ever become a parent, and if so, which parent? Mom or Dad?

-- helen (ready@for.more), June 15, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

It was Julie, the vet's assistant, that noticed. She mentioned nothing to anyone. She didn't want people thinking she was crazy! Besides, none of the things that she noticed ever happened to Dr. Gold, nor any of the other staff. They only happened to her. Maybe it was because she was the one that cared for Pat with loving kindness everyday. She shook her head, as if to clear it, when she thought back on it now, wondering if any of it had really happened. . .

Every time she went to check Pat after Dr. Gold had implanted the two teeth, the beaver would raise itself up on it's hind legs and regard her as she approached. Then Pat would do something that Julie never saw any other beaver, nor any other animal do; wave it's paws at her and chatter. The first time this happened Julie thought nothing much of it. But when she saw that it was happening every time she went to care for Pat, she realized that this was no mistake or coincidence. There was something strange here, besides the beaver being androgynous, besides its having gold teeth; indeed - something very strange.

It wasn't just that either. After eating the food put in it's bowl, Pat would actually nudge the empty dish over to the opening of the cage for Julie to take out and clean.

If it were not for these things, Julie would probably have not taken any notice of the other strange behaviors that the beaver exhibited. For one, Pat seemed to take an interest in whenever Julie and Dr. Gold were talking. The beaver would perk up it's little ears and turn it's head to actually watch them conversing. Almost as if it were listening - almost as if it could understand! But the strangest thing to happen didn't occur until the beaver's last day here at the animal hospital.

Dr. Gold had sent Julie to get Pat for the last time - to bring him to his waiting 'family'. As she approached, the beaver rose up and waved its paws. But this last time, it did something else as well. As she unlocked the cage and drew the beaver out, Pat looked her right in the eye and made a different sort of noise, not a chatter, a noise that sounded uncomfortably similar to the word "Goodbye". . .

followed by the sideways stretching of it's mouth into an almost-human smile.

-- (sonofdust@julie.knows), June 16, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

The local paper was delivered on Friday morning, and everyone in town got it. It was free, regardless of if you wanted it or not, much to the annoyance of some folks. But to one person, this particular issue was a relief - a very big relief.

Julie put the paper down as she finished reading the article. She sat staring intently at the photo - at Pat - at the 'smile'. Yes, she concluded, here is the proof. It really did happen. Still, no one would believe me. But at least now I know I'm not crazy! She smiled back at the beaver that she had cared so well for and helped nurse back to health, then put the paper down. She went over to the computer and clicked on the familiar bookmark. "I could use a laugh," she thought, as she opened the latest FRL thread to see what those people, some of whom were really crazy, were up to now.

Marie didn't have to open it to see the picture. There was Pat right on the front page, above the fold! Rob, Ann, Bill, and herself were in the picture too. The caption read "Golden Beaver Returns Home", and above it there was a photo of Pat showing off two golden teeth - almost as if the beaver had known it was having its picture taken! The article described 'home' as being the small body of water called "Sunset Lake" on the other side of the mountain - an unpopulated and still relatively pristine area. Marie smiled at the thought of them being free and happy again. "Hey Rob, come look at this," she called excitedly.

On the other side of the lake, Ann and Bill Porter were also looking at that same photo. Ann turned to Bill and said "We'll have to get together with the Michaels' and drive over to Sunset some time, you know, see how the beavers are doing." Bill smiled in reply as his wife picked up the phone. She, too, was smiling.

But not everyone who saw the paper was smiling. One in particular was looking at those two solid gold teeth - and frowning - until a short while later an idea occurred to him, and then a smile spread across his face. But it was a smile that, if you saw it, would freeze your blood.

Hunting is not allowed in that area, but when did that ever stop him before? His smile widened.

-- (sonofdust@the.paper), June 16, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

None of Pat's siblings heard the sounds, but Pat did - whenever it wanted to, just by turning its head. Pat was getting more and more used to the sounds it heard in its head - ever since the operation.

Whenever Pat turned a certain way, especially towards the east where the powerful transmitters of the radio stations were, its special teeth received the signals and 'transmitted' them to his brain. And even more remarkably, some of the things it heard it understood.

It was because of this that Pat was learning - learning things no beaver had ever known, learning things that no other beaver would probably ever know, learning things that would make their lives different than any other beavers in history. Pat's brother Eeny, and two sisters Meeny and Miney, would also learn.

Pat would teach them.

Pat knew how.

-- (sonofdust@Pat.knows), June 16, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

It had only been a week since they gained their freedom, yet already they had built themselves a new lodge made of mud, stone, and branches - and of something else. To all outside appearances it was as ordinary as any other beavers dam.

But this dam was anything but ordinary.

The small lake that fed their stream had a clay bottom and shoreline. Pat soon found that pieces of clay could be shaped by its paws, and dried in the hot summer sunshine, retaining their shape. Eeny, Meeny, and Miney soon caught on as well. As a result, the outside of their lodge was covered with the usual mud, branches, and small stones, but underneath, from almost top to bottom, the dam was lined with clay bricks. . .

bricks that were almost as hard as concrete.

-- (sonofdust@clay.bricks), June 16, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

Eeny, Meeny, and Miney knew what Pat wanted; knew as clearly as if they could all speak together. Yet there was no speaking between them. Pat simply formed a thought, and the thought was instantly conveyed to the others, and Pat's sibling's understood. All of them.

But they weren't the only ones who would find they understood. . .

Julie put the paper in the recycle pile. "I wonder what Pat is doing now?" she thought to herself. At this thought came another - unbidden - and she 'saw' in her mind's eye that Pat was fine,

that Pat and the other beavers were by the lakeshore at this very instant,

that they were making something,

something with their paws,

something that very much resembled the bowl that she used to feed Pat with!

She shook her head violently to clear the images flooding her brain and went to get some aspirin. She needed rest. Lots of rest. She dialed the number.

"Hi Doctor Gold. I'm not feeling well today. I have a headache you wouldn't believe. I won't be in."

"That's ok Julie," the doctor replied. I hope you feel better soon. See you tomorrow."

Neither knew it, but Julie would not be in tomorrow - nor ever again.

-- (sonofdust@mental.telepathy), June 16, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

Rob, thanks for the laughs... what are you going to do to poor Julie???

Gold teeth, huh? I'd have thought that would be too soft, beavers do need to chew all the time...

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), June 17, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

Hi Tricia. I had to work in the gold since mebs mentioned it on the last thread. As far as Julie, you'll just have to wait and see.

Ok, ok. Here's a hint: I wouldn't be worried about Julie at all if I were you, she'll do just fine, uh, maybe even better than just fine... (Now that I know you are concerned for her :)

-- (sonofdust@hi.Tricia), June 17, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

No matter how she tries, Julie isn't able to rid herself of the images that came into her mind earlier. She has to go to Sunset lake and find out once and for all - make sure that what she thinks she 'saw' is just some kind of hallucination or something. She needs to find out, for her own sanity.

She had been to Sunset Lake once before - hiking with a boyfriend from college. The boy is long gone, but the lake isn't. Although it's a small lake, there are many streams. Most likely the beavers would be close to where those people - what were their names again? - where they released them. But where is that? There is only one way to find out. She picks up the paper from the top of the recycle pile. They're the Michaels and Porters, she reads, and they both live on the big lake just outside of town. She sits down thinking about what she will say, and what she won't say. After an hour or so, she picks up the phone book, finds the Michael's number, gets out her cellular, and calls.

The Hunter also lives outside of town, but is not at home now. Nor has he been at home much lately. He is doing some reconnaissance - formulating his plan. He has spent all day yesterday and today watching the road to the lake to see when the ranger makes his rounds. It has been tedious work, but productive. The ranger comes twice a day - an hour after sunrise and right after dusk. Now that he knows that, he can start looking for the Golden Wonder without worrying about the Ranger. He'll search tomorrow at first light, and since that alone lasts for half an hour, he'll have plenty of time to find what it is he wants,

and plenty of time to kill it.

"Hi Ann," said Marie, as she switched the phone to her other hand. "Do you remember that sweet young college girl that works for Doctor Gold - Julie - well, she just called me, and she wants to go and see how the beavers are making out at their new home and thought it would be nice to go together. I couldn't believe it since we were just discussing the very same thing! Anyway, I told her that we are planning to go tomorrow, maybe before dusk. After all, the lake isn't named Sunset Lake for nothing - beautiful sky there at dusk usually. She gave me her number and I'm supposed to call her back after seeing if that is good with you and Bill."

"Sounds fine," Ann replied. "Why don't you give her directions to our house and then we can all meet here and take Bill's wagon - say about 8:00?"

-- (sonofdust@phone.calls), June 17, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

First light. The hunter arrives at the small lake and starts searching. Time passes quickly, much more quickly than he thought it would, and still he has not found the dam. He decides to try a different stream.

The sun is already up on the other side of the mountain and he is almost ready to give up when he sees it. He picks up his binoculars and waits. It isn't long before he sees them; four of them. And one of them is the One he seeks.

But it is too late now. Too much time has passed. The Ranger will be making his rounds soon. He has to leave. But he will come back soon for the kill - tonight...

before dusk.

Pat knew trouble was not far away. Sensed it. Then a 'picture' came into the beavers mind of the hunter looking at him, looking at his teeth, and of the hunter hurting him, taking his special teeth. An idea came to Pat. He went down to the lake, followed by his siblings, and told them what to do...

Julie was getting dressed for work when it happened again. This time, she 'saw' that the beavers were busy again with making something - not a bowl, she wasn't sure what! Three of them were scraping up dampened clay from the shore and patting it on to Pat's head - shaping it - almost as if they were making a plaster mold! Crazy! Then one of them went off and started selecting small shiny pebbles and brought them back to Pat - who by now had almost its whole head covered!

"Dr. Gold? It's me, Julie. Uh, I'm afraid that I won't be in today after all - I'm still not feeling very well..."

-- (sonofdust@plaster.mold), June 17, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

This is soooo exciting!!

-- helen (hanging@onto.every.word), June 17, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

Julie arrived at the Porters' almost at the same time as Marie and Rob. After everyone introduced each other they all got into the wagon and headed for the lake.

The hunter was also headed for that same lake, but unlike the other car that was coming, once he got to the lake he knew where to go - exactly where to go.

The wagon pulled onto the narrow lake road and parked at the end of it, by the lake itself. Everybody got out, still talking about their shared interest - the four beavers. It was Rob that showed Julie where they had released them. They walked slowly over to the spot, with Bill, Marie, and Ann following.

The hunter pulled up to the end of the lake road only a minute later. There's another car here! Crap! It figures some idiot would be here NOW. He stays in the car and looks around. There! Down toward the stream where the beavers are - four, no, five people. Crap! They will probably fart around here 'till dusk too. He started the car, and left the lake behind, thinking " Crap! I'll have to come back again - tomorrow at first light, like I did this morning. Crap!"

"Hey! Look here," called Bill, who was ahead of the others. Julie and Rob were there first to see what Bill was talking about. He was looking down at the shoreline, at the odd symmetrical depressions and shiny pebbles in the clay ground. "Probably made by some small but talented child while visiting here on a day trip," he said aloud.

They all looked to see, and as they were looking, Julie feinted.

"I... I... I'm sorry," she stuttered. "I really haven't been feeling well lately. I thought maybe I was better but... Would it be ok if we just go back? Now that I know where you released them I'm sure I will find them a bit easier once I'm better."

"Poor dear," Ann sympathized, "Why ever didn't you just say you weren't feeling well. We will just come back again another time - together - ok?"

"Thanks. I would like that," Julie replied, as her eyes strayed down to what she had seen before, and she saw that it was still there. Her 'pictures' were real after all, she thought. But they couldn't be!

Could they?

-- (sonofdust@hi.Helen), June 17, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

Later that night, after everyone had gone home, Marie sat alone on the deck looking at the night sky, and remembered, clearly, the look on Julie's face. Something wasn't right. Ann guessed so too. She headed into the house and found the piece of scrap paper that the girl's number was written on, then dialed.

"Oh! Mrs. Michaels I mean Marie, Thank God I mean I'm so relieved you called! I... I just have to tell somebody...

They worked hard all day, and did exactly what Pat had shown them needed to be done. They moved the plaster-like mold of Pat's clay head to the dam, then inserted it in between some of the upper branches of the lodge. The small, clear, and dark pebbles in the two holes where the eyes were supposed to be were already in place. By wetting them occasionally, they managed to continue to shine like real eyes. The whole clay head itself could actually move too - simply by moving the loose branches on which it rested, making it seem alive. But the masterpiece of the head was the dental work...

They appended two pieces of almost-hardened clay, the shape and length of Pat's golden teeth, to the 'mouth' of the fake beaver head, letting it dry in position. Then they gnawed a pine tree, taking some of the sticky sap, and applied it on the clay teeth to act as glue. They were able, with Pat's help, to find pieces of pyrite. Also called 'fools gold', pyrite is a mineral common to the area that has a brass-like color and metallic luster. They smashed the pyrite in one of the bowls that they had previously made until they had many golden flakes. The shiny gold-colored flakes that they collected were then put onto the sap, where they stuck immediately. The fake head had fake gold teeth! That shone!

Their effort was a remarkable exercise in imaginative artistry. It didn't look quite real, but it looked good. Damn good. Perhaps it would prove good enough...

-- (sonofdust@Pat's.ready), June 17, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

Julie turned again to look at the clock: four in the morning and she still couldn't sleep - despite being able to tell that Dear Mrs. Michaels' about her 'visions', and what had really happened at the lake.

It really was a big relief! Marie didn't laugh at her or call her crazy. Maybe because she's married to Rob :) If anything, she seemed confused too! But she also believed.

Just as she was thinking about their conversation, Julie felt what was beginning to become a familiar sensation - a tingly feeling at her temples. It is happening again, she thought - and then the image came.

There are Pat and the three others outside their lodge. It's dark, but the stars and moon are reflecting off something, not the beavers, something else - something in the dam itself, something with two shiny long teeth! What the heck!

The picture fades and is replaced by another...

She 'sees' as the man is parking the car, is walking towards the stream, then walking towards the dam - and she also sees the glint of metal at his side just as the image blanks out.

The man has a rifle! He wants Pat's teeth! I have to do something. Now!

Marie! I'll call Marie. She'll know what to do...

Fifteen minutes later, two cars are driving quietly but quickly towards the small lake - cars with siren on them.

But the sirens are silent.

-- (sonofdust@almost.dawn), June 17, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

They are hiding in the lowest part of the dam, protected by the hard clay bricks. Unseen and silent. Waiting. The breeze tonight is just enough to make the leaves in the trees whisper, and make the decoy's head move slightly on the loose branches.

Julie and Marie, along with Rob, Ann, Bill and the police arrive at the lake. There is another vehicle parked here. The officer turns to Julie and asks "Is that the car?" She looks, and nods. They get out, and the officers are shown the direction to go in. None of them have been to the dam, but they have to try and find it. And also find the person that is just getting there...

He arrives and looks all around. He sees the dam. Looking more closely, he sees something else. "Ah Ha," he thinks aloud, "there's the little bugger." He raises the gun, aligns the sight, takes a deep breath, and ever so gently squeezes the trigger. A moment later the head shatters. "Bulls eye! Got it!" He starts off to claim his prize.

The shot rang clear in the night air. The officers were close enough to get a bearing and quickly headed for it, insisting that everyone else go back to the patrol car to wait.

"Where the hell is it? Crap!" he says loudly. He continues searching for the body of the beaver he just killed. "Crap!" Inside the dam, they heard the man curse. They huddle even closer together.

That last crap was one crap too many. The officers heard it too, and made for where the crap came from. Then they saw him...

Julie recognized the man as the officers brought him to the patrol car, complete with handcuffs. "Is that him?" asked Marie.

They all turned to see her as she answered: "Yes. That's him."

-- (sonofdust@got.him), June 18, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

The next day was one Julie would never forget - one that would change her life - for the better. This time the reporters had television cameras with them for the interview, and it was both her and Pat that were the stars. Marie, Rob, Ann and Bill stood to one side with the other three beavers next to them - all eyes were on Julie and Pat.

People loved it, people all over the world. Imagine being able to communicate the way she does with that special animal. She would not have to go back to the animal hospital to work with either, unless she decides that is what she really wants to do. Indeed, Julie has many opportunities that she never had before. So does Pat. Both of them are truly special - blessed.

She stands on the bank of the stream, Pat by her side, as they get ready for one more shot. The reporters step in front of her and Pat, microphones in hand, while the t.v. cameras begin rolling.

"Ok, here we go," the reporter says looking at the two of them. "Can you 'ask' Pat to turn a bit to the left and , uh, smile Julie?"

An instant later, Pat turns - to the left, looks up at Julie,

and smiles."

So begins a new chapter in both their lives.

-- (sonofdust@The.End), June 18, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

Good story!!! Now another!!! Encore! More!

-- helen (wildly_cl@pping.cheering), June 18, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

What a wonderful ending, Rob! You did all you said you would.

Now I have to wait patiently until the writing bug bites again...


-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), June 18, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

I like it. Will Pat and Julie be off on a world tour now? And when the excitement dies down, will Pat end up in a Zoo? Museum? Dissected on some .gov scientists table?

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), June 18, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

Does Pat become a mom or a dad?

-- helen (w@nt.more), June 18, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

maybe.....(considering pat's "unusual" condition) pat can become a mom and a dad all in one fell swoop!!!!

and, of course, pat's beaver kits will have not only an uncle and 2 aunts.......but 2 godfathers and 3 godmothers as well!!!!

what a lucky bunch of kits...........

and what a nice story all around : )

-- mebs (mebs@joymail.com), June 19, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

Where did the swoop fall?

I thought Rob fell. From the swoop perhaps?

Did he swoon when he swooped? Was he sewn when he swooned while he swept? Did he swear while he swooned? Where did he sweep when he swept while he swooned?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), June 20, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

Wow, Rob!

You were (dare I say it?) busy as a beaver while I was gone. Great story!

But just where are the missing cases of special aniversary vintage JJ?

This just may be a mistery of such import to cause the return of an old bayou clown.


-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), June 27, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

I can hardly wait! Stories by Lon, stories by Rob... "it's all good!"

-- Eager (fan@impatient.now), June 28, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories

Hi gang, I'm baaaaaaack! Hope everyone has been ok. (((FRLians))) Glad youz guyz liked the story... hard to believe that ya want more punishment :) I'll have to think up something I guess. Anyone have a storyline request or suggestion for the next one?

Lon, good buddy: Looks like ya might of missed the last 'chapter' on the FRL #22 thread (the thread is still on the 'new questions' page). Specifically, ya gotta read the posts from 6/9 to 6/11. They explain what happened to the vintage JJ and, uh, well, it sort of indirectly involves You! (and cuz'z Iggie! :) After reading the posts above you'll see what I mean. All I can say is if you ain't got the shipment by now that means cuz'n Iggie might be layin low with it (he signed for it, since you was away!!) Ya might wanna investigate this!!!!

Kritter: Tricia is right about adding "FRL #23" to the title of this thread for continuity. Can ya do it please?

-- real 'e' (thesonofdust@yahoo.com), June 28, 2000.

Response to Just some more silly stories


-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), June 28, 2000.

Wow Kritter, that was Fast! Thanks!

-- Rob Michaels (thesonofdust@yahoo.com), June 28, 2000.

Hey, it's an easy thing to adjust, but it leaves that "RESPONSE TO " thing on top of each message in the thread afterwards. Made me go "huh?" at first. As in "Huh? Why's it doin' that?"...but I guess that's how its set up..and who am I to mess with Greenspun and his forum world? Nobody! nuttin. :-)

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), June 29, 2000.

Figured it out......the original thread title was "Just some more silly stories" ... and all the original responses were to that title ... cause they were on that thread. So Greenspun, being the good guy that he is, adds the "old" title to the "old responses" - (Not that Lon or Ole' Git are old mind you ....) - when th etitle was changed.....

The "new and improved" title -(Yaaaayyy! My confusion was eliminated....welll sort of.) now is getting "new and improved" responses - wellllll sort of "improved" respones --- and so he doesn't have to add the new and improved title to the new and improved responses........it's kinda of like where the missing numbers went.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), June 29, 2000.

Some numbers went missing?? Oh, no!

Quick, page the Count...

He's missing too????

OH NOoooooooo

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), July 01, 2000.

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