Crikey.

I knew it would happen, but I was blindly hoping that I'd just miss the whole thing.

Jackie Chan has begun the changeover that so many other action stars were so quick to complete. He is becoming a digital special effect.

In the first big scene in Shanghai Noon, a bunch of ones and zeros try to pull off calling themselves one of the great masters of physical agility and comedy. And they do it badly.

For the first time I have witnessed, Jackie did not perform his own stunt. And it looked BAD.

Has anybody else seen this horribleness?

-- Bran (bran@nwlink.com), June 07, 2000

Answers

What??!!

No shit? Somebody get me some hard evidence or details on this. I can't rightly believe it.

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-- Michael Fitts (michael@noextraday.com), June 08, 2000.

In his defence he is like 45 or something. I mean if you had part of your skull replaced with plastic and were getting on in the years, and someone said "hey, here is shit loads of money to NOT risk your life!" wouldn't you sell out too? By the by I have not seen it yet, so I am just talking out my arse.

-- yousuf (yousuf@itscaketimebaby.com), June 10, 2000.

Its not the first time he used digital special effects in his movies - - Who Am I? has computer generated explosions, and when Jackie slides across the street wearing wooden shoes, the truck that narrowly misses him is computer added.

But the main reason his hollywood movies have such crappy stunts is that he can't film with no insurance for hollywood, like he routinely does for the golden harvest movies. And American insurance companies won't insure him if he does anything up to his usual Hong Kong standard. The director for Rush Hour, and Jackie himself, complained about this to no end last year.

Regardless, you should give the guy a break. He is 46 now, and for my money, he's risked his neck enough. I'm just happy to see him do kung fu. And if I could do a flying spinning hook kick when I turn 46, I would be a happy man...

-- Mike Dock (mobooty@home.com), August 21, 2000.

That's a good point. I can't even do a flying spinning hook kick RIGHT NOW and I'm 22.

But if I could have Jackie Chan's home number, I'd be happy. See, it's like Cardinal Fitts said once (at least, I think it was Cardinal Fitts): The man's broken every bone in his body at least once. If you thought you'd broken something but weren't sure, you could call up ol' Jackie and tell him the symptoms, and he'd say "Oh, yeah, sounds like you broke it all right. You'll wanna get that looked at pretty fast before it starts to heal funny."

-- wendy (ironballsmcginty@hotmail.com), August 21, 2000.