There seemed to be some interest in exchanging stories from when our kids were young on another thread, but the topic of that thread really addressed another subject. I thought it a good idea to separate the off-topic "mothering experiences" posts and leave the original thread to the original topic.

This thread needn't exclude folks who don't have children, as we all had parents, and some may want to simply vent regarding "I hated it when my mother...", or "I thought my parents were the best because..."

We've already heard Patricia's great line from her mother regarding "Don't come running to ME when you find you've broken both your legs." My mom's favorite was, "I've got one foot in the grave, and you're trying to put the other one in." THAT was about 20 years ago, and she's still got both legs out of the grave. Another favorite with my mom was when someone mentioned her weight. She was quite heavy in her 40's. She'd say, "Just wait until YOU have kids and see how YOU look." Of course my anatomy was totally unlike my mom's, but I gained 12 pounds with my first pregnancy. By the time I finished nursing, I'd lost 20. I ate like a HORSE, but it all went to making milk. With the second pregnancy, I gained a few more pounds than 12. Before I was done nursing the second one, I had ANOTHER one, and by the time I was done nursing the two at one time, I looked like a STICK. Again, I ate like a horse, but the milk-machine worked overtime.

Was the difference strictly anatomical? Do ALL short women gain weight and never lose it? Do ALL tall women get as skinny as *I* did? What were YOUR experiences with your mom and dad? What were YOUR experiences with your kids?

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), May 22, 2000

Answers

One time my wife had class and I had the boys- they were about 27 mths and 14 mths. I put the oldest in the bathtub and fed the youngest,he ate like a horse. We were on our third jar of junior size when my oldest started crying loudly. I got up to see what was wrong. He had decided to wash his hair and had emtied a whole bottle of shampoo on his head. His loud screaming and crying (he got all the drama from mom) started my youngest to crying loudly, he was still strapped into a prop seat. Then he got the hiccups and crying and then all that baby food for supper was all over him.

Having a big mess to clean up I did what any Dad would do. I went to the Garage ansd got the SHOP VAC came back in and vacumed the boys! Cleaned up that mess real nice like. Got them cleaned up asleep and in bed before my wife got home and she was none the wiser.

-- Swampthing (in@the.swamp), May 23, 2000.

While thinking of how children the age of yours would tell their mom what daddy did to them, I wondered if they would have said that you swept them or vacuumed them. This led me to a memory of someone telling me how their mom had swept their legs [as in with a broom], but the purpose wasn't to get the legs clean, and I don't remember the purpose. Anyone else heard of this custom?

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), May 23, 2000.

OK, I can't remember anything really good right now (I'm sure something will come to me) but I can relate a friend's story that I guarantee you will tell to your friends. She was my best friend many moons ago and her Mom told me this story, so I pretty much know it to be true.

My friend used to love to tie herself up when she was a child. (Let's not go into any possible reasons for that, OK? Good.) Anyway, her parents were very active in the local Church and regularly had priests just "dropping by" to say hi, have coffee, whatever. (You see where this is going, dontcha?)

One day, unbeknownst to her Mom, my friend had tied herself to the vacuum cleaner in the closet in the kitchen (the main entertaining area for unexpected 'company'). Mom's happily cleaning the kitchen and is about to get out the vacuum when the doorbell rings. It's one of the family's "priest friends", so she invites him in for coffee. He sits at the table in a chair that has a CLEAR VIEW to the closet housing the vacuum. Mom puts the coffee on and heads toward the closet, chatting away with the priest, opens the door and sees her daughter in there tied to the vacuum. Mom promptly slams the door shut and tries to make "natural conversation".

The priest (who of course had witnessed the entire scene) just kind of sat there in stunned silence as Mom babbled on and on about who-knows-what.

I always wondered (but never asked) what the priest's verbal reaction was after that; but the story always kind of ended there.

I still lose it every time I think of this.

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), May 23, 2000.