Don't drive after eating fire while stripping

greenspun.com : LUSENET : TB2K spinoff uncensored : One Thread

http://www.theage.com.au/breaking/0005/10/A52204-2000May10.shtml

'Not So Sexy' fire-eating stripper loses licence

Source: AP | Published: Wednesday May 10, 3:09 AM

A male stripper and fire eater described in court as 'sloppy and not very sexy' today failed to escape a driving ban after arguing that chemicals from his act had pushed him over the alcohol limit.

David Gregory, who uses the stage name Magnum, told Nottingham Magistrates Court he had not realised the mixture of surgical spirit and methylated spirit he had been using contained alcohol.

He failed a roadside breath test in Nottingham following a minor road accident last year.

He had been driving from his then home in Sheffield to perform at a ladies' night at a Leicester pub.

Defence witness Tony Turner, a drag queen who uses the stage name Christine de Whore, had taught Gregory how to fire eat as part of his stripping act.

He said on the day in question the pair had gone to Gregory's home to practise using the new mixture. Previously Gregory had been using mixes of BBQ fluid, lighter fluid and petrol.

Mr Turner said: "To be honest David was not very good. He was a bit clumsy and has got the burns to prove it.

"He had trouble dancing around with the fluid in his mouth and to be honest he didn't look very sexy - we were trying to improve that."

Gregory admitted driving while over the limit, but took the case to court arguing 'special measures' because he said he had not realised surgical spirit and meths contained alcohol.

David Balcock, an expert witness for the defence, admitted that neither of the bottles of spirit which Gregory had bought from a branch of Boots had any mention of the fact they contained alcohol.

He said: "I tested them and both were found to be 93 per cent alcohol by volume."

He considered Gregory had, during the course of an afternoon's rehearsals, probably taken in the equivalent of four pub measures of spirits.

But he added: "Because it is so strong the body cannot absorb it as quickly as it would with normal alcohol and so Mr Gregory might not have felt or realised."

Under cross examination he admitted Gregory's blood alcohol level had probably peaked before he had been breath tested.

He said: "I cannot even guess at what point or at what level he may have been."

Sentencing Gregory, chairman of the bench Howard Marshall said the magistrates did not accept that he did not know there had been any alcohol present.

He was banned for driving for 27 months, ordered to take a driver rehabilitation program and fined STG160 ($A424) with STG150 ($A398) court costs.

After the case Gregory said: "I am very disappointed by this. I was not drinking and this is going to affect my work very badly."

He said he would consult his lawyer about the possibility of an appeal.

-- Maya (Maya@eck.ist), May 10, 2000

Answers

Maya:

"Don't drive after eating fire while stripping"

This gets filed somewhere between "Never pet a porcupine" and "Never put a fire out with your face", right?

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), May 10, 2000.


LOLOLOLOL Anita.

Yes, and never put a banana in your ear while blow drying your hair. :D

-- Maya (Maya@eck.ist), May 10, 2000.


On a radio commercial in NY is this gem:

"never remove a fly from a friends forehead with a hatchet"

LOL

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), May 10, 2000.


...especially when a sledge hammer will do! (sorry, I couldn't resist!)

-- LunaC (LunaC@LunaC.com), May 10, 2000.

Moderation questions? read the FAQ