Workplace issues

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The Penis requests a promotion and a raise for the following reasons.

1. Has to work hard.

2. Has to work at great depths.

3. Has to work upside down.

4. Has no ventilation or air conditioned work environment.

5. Has to work in a high humidity environment.

6. Has to work at high temperatures.

7. Does not get weekends and holidays off.

8. Does not get time off after extra hours of work.

9. Has a hazardous work environment that often causes illness.

Management Reply.

Request denied for the following reasons.

1. Does not work 8 hours straight during any work period.

2. Does not answer immediately to all requests.

3. Co-workers often unsatisfied by job performance.

4. After a short activity period, falls asleep.

5. Shows no evidence of fidelity at the workplace.

6. Works better alone than with others.

7. Does not work at all unless pushed from behind.

8. Does not leave the workplace clean after finishing work.

9. Sometimes leaves work too early. ~~~~~~

-- (nemesis@awol.com), May 05, 2000

Answers

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Too funny, nemesis!

Thanks for sharing that. :-D

-- Jim Morris (prism@bevcomm.net), May 05, 2000.


Hey nemesis did you hear the one about the old man in the mall?

An old man was sitting on a bench in the mall when a young man with spiked hair came over and sat down beside him. The boy's hair was yellow and green and orange and purple. He had black make-up around his eyes. The old man just sat and stared at him.

The boy turned to him and said, "What's the matter old man, haven't you ever done anything wild in your life?"

The old man answered, "Well, yes, I actually have. One time I got drunk and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son."

-- Debra (wellslapmy@knee.com), May 05, 2000.


And then there's this one ... (so much for diversity and political correctness!)

On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:

* two Italian men and one Italian woman * two French men and one French woman * two German men and one German woman * two Greek men and one Greek woman * two English men and one English woman * two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman * two Japanese men and one Japanese woman * two Chinese men and one Chinese woman * two American men and one American woman * two Irish men and one Irish woman

One month later on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a minage-a-trois.

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.

The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean and another long look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming.

The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy/ liquor/ store/ restaurant/laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their store.

The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, because the American woman keeps on complaining about her body; the true nature of feminism; how she can do everything they can do; the necessity of fulfillment; the equal division of household chores; how sand and palm trees make her look fat; how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do; and how her relationship with her mother is improving; and how at least the taxes are low and it isn't raining.

The two Irish men divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey. But they're satisfied because at least the English aren't having any fun.

-- Debra (wellslapmy@kneeagain.com), May 05, 2000.


ROFLMAO Debra, loved the last one.

-- FactFinder (FactFinder@bzn.com), May 05, 2000.

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