Anyone care to share, since the Zombie thread brought out some great replies, anyone care to give it a try?

I'll share I promise, but mine is tooo awful to be the first.!!

Come on, lets open it up.

-- consumer (shh@aol.com), May 02, 2000

Answers

Interesting that a post about embarassing moments would occur right after a post on natural gas. I have an embarassing moment that concerns natural gas.

-- (lars@indy.net), May 02, 2000.

Do I seriously need to share? Coming from a guy using my email?

-- Attack-Paulie (fannybubbles@usa.net), May 02, 2000.

Ok, so I guess I Have to be the 1st, huh?

so be it...

1st Job I had was in an office, setting appointments for investment advisors.

I was young, very young. I had to wear dresses, had not learned 'properly' how to put on pantyhose. So, I put the hose on underneath of my nylon undies.

As I was standing up (office full of men) the nylon undies decided to make drastic dodge to the floor. Now, mind you they were black, with Sunday written on them. As they 'hit the floor' I was speechless, to say the very least.

How does one 'casually' reach down to floor to put back on panties? I was so dumb I did JUST THAT...instead of kicking them under desk for a later retrievel.

BTW, I am NOT a blonde....

Ok, WHO WILL DARE TO BE NEXT?

--consumer who is STILL blushing.

-- consumer (shh@aol.com), May 02, 2000.

So yu mean it wasn't Sunday?

-- underwear (tryunderalls@undies.net), May 02, 2000.

Nope. Guess it wasnt....

-- consumer (shh@aol.com), May 02, 2000.

Ok, I'll stick my toe in the water.

Many, many moons ago (a long time back) my dear friend got front row seats in Chicago's Palmer House to see Peggy Lee. My friend worked for a booking agent. It was a snowy, winter night, and the four of us had partaken of some fortification, known as martinis against the weather, prior to leaving for the hotel.

Oddly enough, my few drinks hadn't bothered me, but my three companions were a bit loud. Miss Lee was late coming on stage (maybe an hour) our table was immediately in front of the stage. Any closer and we would have been on her lap.

Miss Lee arrived and my friends were loudly complaining that she shouldn't have been so tardy. I kept trying to tone them down, to no avail. Oh well.

However since we were sitting immediately in front of her she wasn't about to put up with some noisy patrons (I avoid the word drunks) and it wasn't me!

So, over comes the Maitre'de, to me! Either shut your "friends" up, or get out! Miss Lee insists.

I did manage to shut them up. It wasn't a pretty scene. Nothing like being told by Peggy Lee to either shut up or get out.

Then there's the one about the time the napkin was caught in my fly...but that's another one.

-- Richard (Astral-Acres@webtv.net), May 02, 2000.

>I had to wear dresses, had not learned 'properly' how to put on pantyhose. So, I put the hose on underneath of my nylon undies.

Consumer, I didn't know that there was a proper way to put on pantyhose. Please enlighten me. There are only men around today, and none of them knew, either, so we anxiously await your reply. Thanks in advance.

-- (kb8um8@yahoo.com), May 02, 2000.

I got a napkin caught in my fly once, Richard. I was at this swanky nightclub with my father and some out-of-town guests. I was wearing an old suit of my father's and the bottom part of the trouser zipper had come apart, only I didn't notice. At one point, the cloth napkin worked it's way into there and snagged. Fortunately, I noticed it before I stood up, but so did my uncle (one of the guests). He had consumed a fair amount of alcohol, so it was no surprise when he called attention to my "problem," and then handed me his jack knife. I think that I was redder than the rose we had been drinking.

I was a few months shy of 22 at the time.

-- (kb8um8@yahoo.com), May 02, 2000.

Hi.

Proper way to put on pantyhose = DONT....

Nor undies either for that matter....

not anymore anyhow.

lol

-- consumer (shh@aol.com), May 02, 2000.

I was standing in a very long line at our local Quick-Chek. I was about 8 months pregnant. I was very tired. When I reached a certain point in the line I noticed a large brown box off to the side. I decided to sit and "rest" for a minute. SURPRISE!!! The box was empty! I "fell" all the way down inside the box. Only my legs, arms and head were visible. Everyone rushed to help but because I was soooooo pregnant no one could get me up. It took about 10 minutes for 5 men to get me up and out!! One at each arm, one at each leg and the fifth to pull the box away!!!

I STILL EXPERIENCE THE EMBARRESSMENT EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT IT!! LOL

-- Debra (!!!!@!!!!.com), May 02, 2000.

correction - EMBARRASSMENT

-- Debra (...@....), May 02, 2000.

I learned programming using keypunched cards. When terminals were available, I was nearly out of school and not well trained in issuing commands directly to a computer. I don't remember why, but I couldn't bring up any programs I had written. In frustration I began writing short pieces of code and giving them naughty words for names. I couldn't get any of them to come back up on the screen no matter what combinations of commands I used. The department head noticed I was unhappy and asked if he could help. I told him NO. He leaned past me and ran a directory command. A long, long list of naughty words scrolled up the screen. It went on forever.

He stood there in silence. I was afraid to look at him. Finally he said the reason programs names shouldn't include profanity was because Aunt Tilly might want a tour of the computer lab before donating her money to the school -- and she'd better never see what he had seen. He turned to leave, and over his shoulder he said, "Your profanity lacks imagination. Improve it or quit trying."

-- helen (home@the.farm), May 02, 2000.

A friend and I took the day off from work one day to go to the National Archives in New York City, so we could so some serious genealogy lookups. It's a serious place,..you have to go through metal detectors and get security badges before you can even go in the building. The research area is quiet, like a library. After several grueling hours of staring at horrible fuzzy handwriting of old ship logs and census forms on microfiche...my head was killing me. I leaned back in my chair in frustration, and whispered to my friend "I dont want to do this anymore..I hate this, whats the point, all these people are dead"..and she nodded and started laughing, and I started laughing. Then, we were laughing outloud. A security man came up to us, and said politely "Please keep it down, or I'm going to have to ask you to leave"....WEll..THAT did it..hehehe..we were floored with laughter. The gentleman escorted us out of the National Archives Building..LOL.

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), May 02, 2000.

Well, I'm going to exclude as many details as I can from this one...

Let's just say that whenever I use the restroom in a public place I always paper the seat -- and use long pieces, folding them for that extra thickness and protection (environmentalists -- please leave me alone on this one...this post is embarrassing enough for me). Anyway, one day, I was in the restroom at work and in a rush to get back to my desk...

Now picture me walking around afterwards -- at work for an hour (yep -- no one said a thing to me -- that day, anyway), then out to my car, then in my front door...when one of my kids noticed my four-foot-long toilet paper "tail" coming out of the back of my slacks...

Now, come on! This must have happened to more of you...I can't be the only one...right?

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), May 02, 2000.

Suitably primed at the Tiger Hotel I made my way to the Mia Mia point and broached the Napolean Orange Brandy subject, just for medicinal points mind. We chugged the duck pond with gear over by the big sand drift and made a camp, rolling out the swag in anticipation of a cold one.

Well, we raged the night before a crackling paperbark blaze and talked in the hundreds and thousands with beer and drambuie bringing out the heat.

I never did make the swag, but rolled down the sand drift to wake up in a dew laden dawn with 3 dogs atop.

It was a three dog night.

Worse though was the tight choked gun blew me off my perch into the lake. The lads left me there and I had to wade two miles in return. The dogs reckoned it to be his huge lark though, but on dismal ordinary nights someone is bound to remind me of that time when I failed to make my swag that time long ago when we were indestructable.

I've been ambarrassed often, but heck, why spoil a good thread with grimmer reality.

Regards from OZ

-- Pieter (zaadz@icisp.net.au), May 02, 2000.

The following incident differs from those already cited, in that practically no one was aware of the embarrassment being experienced or even its cause.

I was attending the post-Bar Mitzvah celebration dinner of a classmate whose family were members of the same temple as we. At events such as this, it is customary for a certain blessing to be recited prior to anyone eating. However, on this occasion, my hunger prompted me to somehow "forget" about this and to plunge into my fruit salad.

With the blessing imminent, I groped for a viable plan. I decided to clasp my hands and place them strategically over the empty salad glass while looking as nonchalant as I could (which probably wasn't very). So who should walk to stand directly beside me? Our rabbi, who is leading the blessing and smiling as if to acknowledge one of his favorite former pupils. I was mortified, but managed to keep smiling.

-- David L (bumpkin@dnet.net), May 02, 2000.

Mind you this happened 30 years ago, but it still embarrasses me to the bone when I think of it.

My (ex) husband and I had just bought a new house (our first) and were so excited when we moved in. Choosing siding, air conditioning, carpet, etc. Anyway, we went to visit friends who had also purchased a house nearby. We were duly impressed (it was much larger and more plush), but I noted the carpet was multi-colored and very short (really ugly...). I told them what a great job they had done decorating but that it was a shame they weren't allowed a choice in carpet....well, you know what happened, the wife says "we did". I could have climbed into the nearest hole. Since then I have kept my foot out of my mouth (mostly).

-- Sammie (sammie0x@yahoo.com), May 02, 2000.

About wenty years ago my husband, son and I were at a very nice, very QUIET restaurant in Chincoteague. Jeremy was about three and insisted he wanted shrimp like we were having. After awhile I noticed he wasn't eating very much and I leaned over and whispered to him. He looked up, gave me a great big smile and (in a voice that could be heard in New Mexico) said, "WELL, IF YOU PAID $8.95 FOR THESE SHRIMP, I SURE AM GOING TO EAT MORE, MOMMY!" The Entire restaurant cracked up and they were still chuckling when we left.

-- Pam (jpjgood@penn.com), May 03, 2000.