In response to all those who have bemoaned the loss of FRL (notably me) :

I'm pleased to announce

We're starting right here and now

FRL threads live!

.

Humour (or humor), poetry (Yes, haiku and limericks count ;-)) and all kinds of friendliness are welcome here. No fiat fruitcake, though :-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), April 01, 2000

Answers

Wow, a whole Forum for Fruitcakes!

Major deja-foo :-)

Running IE 5.0 on an iMac, revamped browser, auto-fills forums, pretty trippy.

Yes, we've been mourning the FRL, and us Maccers can't get into your FRL chat on MSN.

How are y'all doing on this fine April Fool's Day?

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), April 01, 2000.

Yes, indeed, April Fools Day.

That means check your shields, protect your ports, watch out for sneaky email virii-filled attachments. Otherwise, have a fine day.

Wish A&L could get into FRLchat, but all this macnibm stuff is beyond me.

Now, Tricia, is this the thread we are supposed to post our favorite poems, etc. to? If so, I will return with one in the not- too-distant future. (But by the time I get here it will be the present.)

regards,

gene

-- gene (ekbaker@essex1.com), April 01, 2000.

Ashton and Leska

Arrive at last! Hooray!

Cascadians: Friends

-- Brooke (WilferdW@aol.com), April 01, 2000.

Gene,

Your poems, not just your fav's

Chuck

-- Chuck, a night driver (rienzoo@en.com), April 01, 2000.

Yeah! Long Live the FRL! Thanks for the heads up Tricia, Dear and Loyal FRLian, I didn't know about this forum until just now. Yippee! This calls for a drink. But as it is almost 2 in the a.m., that will have to wait until tomorrow :) Already feels like home!

The clock springs ahead,

Stars shine down upon us all,

We are together.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@returns.now), April 02, 2000.

Magic April Fool's Day did the trick!

Reunions are wonderful :-)
Hi everybody, and wunnderful to see the Lost ChiefTin.

Wasn't there something in Peter Pan about the lost in neverneverland?

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), April 02, 2000.

Gee, the ChiefTin posted at Spring Forward time.
That must mean something ;^)
The Canuckianian Geese hereabouts are still playing in the ponds, getting along well with the ducks and nutria.
Temps in the 70s, sunny bright daze until the chemtrails haze it over, and nobody seems in any hurry to leave -- paradise here.

The fowl seem to have rethunk this whole migration thing. Some years it's just easier to stay home :-)

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), April 02, 2000.

What is the old song?
"Happy days are here again."
Nice to see you all! :-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), April 02, 2000.

Reporting in.

.

And, yes, I hear the groans from the crowd.

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), April 02, 2000.

Gayla! Greybear! Spring has Sprung :-)

We were just yesterday thinking of you 2 Gs, wondering what all had cropped up to garner your attention out in the blue beyond.

Looks like soon it will be ... party time!

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), April 02, 2000.

Oh well.

Greetings all and a quick hello. Thanks for the "nudge" Gayla.

May all your fruits 'n cake be fermented by now.

*Engaging Grin*

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), April 02, 2000.

Joyous reunion

I'm so glad to see you now

Life's better for it!!!

.

I debated starting this thread because I was unsure how many friends would come here and because I didn't want to horn in on this forum with my silliness (until I read some of the other threads :-))

What a relief to see some responses and some friendly "faces" (fonts?).

Welcome to you all!

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), April 02, 2000.

Tricia,

For old time's sake...

fRUitCAke iNdEx... uNDieTEriZEd...

@}'-->---

Fruitcake Index...

#0-A: Perfect y2k food? (not for the serious)
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 000FvD

#0-B: Supermarkets, Duct Tape, and Phone Gnomes (Humor)
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 000W78

#0-C: Grandmama's missing check
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 000GXB

#0-D: Who else got one of 10 Anti-terrorist "Units"?
(pre-beginnings of the Canadianainainan steath geeses thread)
http://greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 000DfT

#1: Know Your Fruitcake! (not for the serious)
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 000Imj

#2: Know your Fruitcake, the second.
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 000hxd

#3: OT - Fruitcake III
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 000sez

#4: Know Your Fruitcake IV (not for the serious)
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 0011dm

#5: Fruitcake V : The Return of Sue?
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001Bli

#6: OT- FRLians Unite, members only - OT
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001Izu

#7: OT - FRL 7
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001Oap

#8: OT - FRL 8
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001P4r

#9: OT-FRL #9
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001TU6

#10: OT - FRL #10 (washing Murhpy)
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001ZPa

# 11: FRL # 11 - Lessons from the Geese
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001gIB

# 12: FRL #12 - Natural Highs
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001lYX

# 13: FRLian Thanksgiving
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001qlz

# 14: OT - FRL #14 - Limerick Festival
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001tTn

# 15: Happy Anniversary FRLians!
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001ypb

# 16: Join the FRL - Sign up today!
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 0021D5

# 17: Renewing the FRL
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 0023NG

FRL #18 - tHe QuEst fOR diETeR
http://hv.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 002Dmf

FRL #19??? - OT- How OT?? well it's on another plane err plain, err- well- FRL RECRUITING DRIVE GET'S UNDER WAY!
http://hv.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 002ViS

Extra Bonus...

paRTiNG Is sUCH SWeeT SORRow????? Dieter (questions@toask.com)
http://hv.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 002DqL

And... for Lon...

Beans and Air Quality (HUMOR)
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 000h17

And another classic TBY2K addition...

Brotherhood of Yourdon (Sir Richard of the Dale)
http://greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 000Ia4

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), April 02, 2000.

Attention FRLians

The FRL will now come to order for awficial business.

My fellow FRLians, it appears that once more we have risen to the task of binding together despite adversity, slings, arrows, firewalls, and errant ductcakes. We even have a report from our respected Field Marshalls regarding the current status of the Stealth Geese Movements. I myself have seen some of these movements (in fact I almost steppin on one :) And The Great Seeress Herself has provided us with our hysterical roots! Even Commander Greybear has returned!

So we find ourselves together once again striving to further the goals of goodwill and FRLianship to all, and just as impotent, to fight the evil en, ene, enem,... Aw you know!!!! Sheesh! As leader of this here FRL, I ask that you consider contracting other fellow FRLians that may not be aware of this thread. Let them know of the FRLian Spirit that still lives in us. Engage them (unless they are already spoken for) and encourage them to come here and join us in our FRLian activities.

In closing, may I say that I am proud of all of you; proud of your untiring FRLian spirit; proud to be your cyber friend; proud to be the leader of this great disorganization. I salute you, my fellow FRLians, and send smiles in your general direction.

Long live our Fruitcake Freedoms!!!!

This concludes the awficial business. The FRL may now go back to being out of order. Uh, did someone say pardee?

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@here.now), April 02, 2000.

Hi,

Is it true that there is a fixed number of fruitcakes at any one time, and they are just passed around as gifts?

Take care all,

It may get better before it gettsss.....

-- Helium (Heliumavid@yahoo.com), April 02, 2000.

Hey, this is neat! I go away for the weekend, and when I come back, there's an influx of Fruitcake Resisters! I knew the "FRL THREAD" people weren't all being represented here, but I wasn't sure how to contact them,..being more of an "FRL CHAT" person. I'm thankful to Tricia for flushing you all out! :-) Leave it to a Canuck!

And now, to share with you all my joy, a limerick:

We all know that life can be tough And laughter...there's never enough So we tossed the decorum And started this forum And now we post threads in the buff! WooHoo!

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), April 02, 2000.

A little formatting help:

We all know that life can be tough

And laughter...there's never enough

So we tossed the decorum

And started this forum

And now we post threads in the buff!

WooHoo!

And the Lurker In Chief wants to know where the Web-cam is. She wants to know how you knew about me.

Chuck

-- Chuck, a night driver (rienzoo@en.com), April 02, 2000.

kritter,

Helium tried to help me get to the FRL Chat, since I have a nifty new computer now... Mac of course... but the great evil Micro$ucks (as Ashton & Leska refer to them) won't allow entry by Mac OS systems.

I recommend we move the fruticake catapults into position, and instead of positioning cats (to pult), we collect some of our most brick-like fruitcake doorstops and heave them at MS's direction. (Might not accomplish a thing but it will create prep room for fresher fruitcakes).

Harumph!

Mac's Rule! Or at least in the graphics, video capture markets! Bill Gates really needs an attitude readjusment... Judge or no Judge.

Or perhaps he just needs a surfeit of rum-soaked fruitcakes? Naw... we need to reserve those for Rob when he runs out of jiggle juice.

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), April 03, 2000.

Hhhmmm, well, according to the Newz this morning, Billy Goats is gonna receive some sorta .gov judgment, mebbe today, more legal headaches.

It has taken a long time for TPTB to recognize that Goatee is one hard-arsed ruthless biz tycoon, and likely they'll exacerbate the problem.

Market forces will work better. Linus, MacOS X (Unix-related), enough ppl forced to use inferior MS bloatware will rebel with relish when they have another viable option.

Another Time Will Tell.

Meanwhile Steve Jobs has forced Micro$ucks to out a good browser for the Mac, the new IE5, still being tweaked but quite nice :-)

No way Jose any Goat's gonna get any of our fruitcake stash!

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), April 03, 2000.

yes something magical has happened

maybe we've all got over y2k (whatever that was)

-- richard (richard,dale@unum.co.uk), April 03, 2000.

I did a search on Yahoo for "Fruitcake Catapults" and all I got was one listing, for a site called "2000 Uses for Peanut Butter". Intrigued, I read all 2000 uses, and there was not ONE single reference to Fruitcake Catapults, or the use of Peanut Butter in one.

However, you must be warned, because this is particularly frightening, ..I also did a search on iwon.com for Fruitcake Catapults, and while I didn't find one, I found something truly profound. There exists in this world "Fruitcake SuperBeings", and we might not want to piss them off, until the extent of their powers is better known. Fruitcake SuperBeing

In the meantime, I will need someone to send me the plans to modify a regular catapult so that it will launch fruitcakes. What good is the internet if you can't even find something as simple as this?

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), April 03, 2000.

As though Y2k didn't split the population into doomers and pollies, we NOW have the FRL favoring MAC's over PC's? I LOVE my PC. I've not had ANY problems with Windows, or any of the OTHER Microsoft software I run......not to mention that my clients can't interface with a Mac even if I WANTED one [which I do NOT.] Then again, I was never a FRLian. I was simply a FRLian friend.

Allow me to sing from the soundtrack of West Side Story "THERE's A PLACE FOR US........SOMEWHERE a PLACE for us......." I'll let any other oddballs know when I find where that place is.

-- Anita (notgiving@anymore.thingee), April 03, 2000.

kritter: I think you are really on to something with these Fruitcake Catapults  a.k.a. Fruitypults. There has already been some serious research along these lines but it is highly classified. Perhaps Good Sir Robert of Cook can easily explain to us the ins and outs, since he has a gift for explaining complicated things :) Also, you may want to consult Gayla, who single handedly, or footedly, or whatever, took the art of Fruitcake Weaponry to new lows, or highs, or middles, during the legendary First FRLian War (FFW). And then we are also lucky to have S.O.B. on our side too. He has some very important inventions to his credit, including the secure communications line that we use when running an OP, and he is Top Shelf when it comes to counting things past the number 8, and he personally knows Mother Goose. Anyway, I hope this helps, and please keep us updated, or downdated, or outdated, on your proclivities.

Uh, did someone say Jiggle Juice?

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@here.now), April 03, 2000.

--beep--beep--beep--beep---

That's right fellas, just back right up here.

Now, bring it this way,

ugh..oof....grunt

'cuse us,...... commin' thruough.....right over here guys.

------

Ah, that's much better. Now that I got my old recliner up here to the front, where I can hear what's goin' on, I feel right at home. Somebody fetch me a jar of Jiggle Juice, willya?

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), April 03, 2000.

Lon! It's feelin more like Home every hour now :-)
OOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Where's SOB? Anybody gots his e-addy?

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), April 03, 2000.

Did somebody say PARDEE? :-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), April 03, 2000.

Gang: There is trouble in the Michaels household and I need your advice. Every year at this time the birds of Spring arrive, including the woodpeckers. Well, it seems that this one woodpecker in particular is not quite Pecking with a full beak. He is trying to drill his way through our cedar shingles!!!!! Dear Mrs. Michaels is in an uproar over this and wants me to do something! Even Murphy seems upset. He looks up as he stalks back and forth every time the non-compliant bird hits again. Our house is surrounded by trees but it doesnt in any way resemble one  so, Why is the woodpecker doing this and what can I do about it?

Any ideas?

Hey Lon, psssssst, over hear Shhhhhhh If you find any good Jiggle can ya save me a nip? I sure could use one (or two) 'bout now!

I'll pop back in late tonight, BFN Rob.

-- Sheesh! (ratatat@tat.tat), April 03, 2000.

O K, now I got a little time to converse with ya'll.

(BTW, it is both Trish and A&L who are to blame for telling me about this here place. Ya'll didn't really think you could sneak off and enjoy yourselfs without me for long, now didya?)

I've lurked around the other spin-off threads a bit, and noticed several old familiar names, but I was wonderin' where some of you old die-hard FRLians had got to. I thought I had tired you all out, or just run you off with that last circus saga.

So, just what are we gonna have here? A little poetry, a little fantasy, some jokes, some lies, some elefunts? Boy, I shore hope so, because you all are the best bunch of folks to share such things with, that I ever saw.

But enough about you all, let's talk about me. Didya miss me as much as I figgured you did? Me and Kit's been on the road some, and as usual I wrote some things down for everbody. I'll probably put some of them here, if I can find 'em. But for now, just a little something I been thinkin' on of late.

--------

There are promises we make without words,

Commitments sealed with only a glance.

No signatures are necessary,

No witnesses, no testimonies.

Yet these are the contracts which bind us,

Our souls within their shells.

For the fulfillment of these, are we given life;

The thread to weave the tapestry of existence.

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), April 03, 2000.

Yes... we/I missed you Lon.

(Here's hoping I've been missed too... by trolls. They can harass/ abuse others now. Oh joy! It's a wide, wild web out there... places to explore... jiggle juice to test!)

*Grin*

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), April 03, 2000.

YOU'RE HERE!!!!! Yay!!!

-- helen (handbasket_helena@hotmail.com), April 03, 2000.

I've missed ALL of you!

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), April 03, 2000.

I'll second the emotion Gayla! There were reports that one or two of ya even missed me!!!!!

The woodpecker made several holes the size of a nickel in the top corner of the house's shingles. Guess youz guyz don't have any more of a clue than I do about why or what to do :( Hope it finds a nice tree and leaves us alone. Well, it's lights out time. BFN, Rob.

-- (go@way.woodpecker), April 03, 2000.

Tears filling my eyes

make it difficult to read

I treasure each friend

.

Thanks for your poetic thoughts on loyalty, Lon. And I hope there's lots of room in that front row, I've had some personal e's from former lurkers stating their intention to lurk again. If they can have front row seats, maybe we can draw them into our crazy plots ;*)

.

If any of you know an addy of an old friend not often seen, please pass on the URL of this new safe haven (otherwise known as the FRLian Home for Fruitcakes)

((((((y'all))))))

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), April 04, 2000.

Woke up this morning and what do I hear? Rat-a-tat-tat ; the sound is quite clear, Woody is back and pecking away :( , Im gonna shoot it, Mrs. Michaels does say, Its twelve oclock somewhere, I feel like a beer!

Stepped outside to look and see, Woody takes off when it sees me, Surprisingly small I noticed its head, Just like my socks; its really bright red!, I go back inside, since woody did flee.

After a while I do hear a peck, Im back outside and onto the deck, Woody returned and is pecking away, But not in the same spot  I have to say, The opposite corner is now being wrecked!

What to think and what to do, Surely I have not a clue, Never seen anything like this before, Woody goes away then comes back for more, Even ducttape wont get me out of this stew!!!!

Sheesh! And as if things werent interesting enough, there are beaver tracks all along the lakeshore :(

-- (rat@tat.tat), April 04, 2000.

Rob,

I wish I could help. We've sure got woodpeckers. but the old bayou cabin is roofed with metal (nice on rainy mornings).

Maybe one of those plastic owls would scare it away, but would probably scare every other bird from your yard also.

Wait, I know! Catch the little bugger, duck tape him to a fruitcake, put the confectionary projectile on one of Kritters' catapults, and launch him down here. (He can eat the fruitcake on the flight)

Well, you asked for ideas. You never said GOOD ideas.

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), April 04, 2000.

You might not to need to use the catapult. If you duct tape the Woodpecker to the fruitcake,..so long as it's a small fruitcake, he might still be able to make flight?! Tell him where he needs to fly to to get the fruitcake removed, and off he goes. Just be sure to apply the duct tape under the wings, not over them!

Might there actually be tasty little bugs hanging out behind your cedar shingles? Perhaps he is doing you a favor? I think they are sonar equipped, the woodpeckers, aren't they? And if not, I know where he can get a sonar, cheep!

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), April 04, 2000.

Thanks Lon and Kritter. I knew I could count on youz guyz. Perhaps I can make duct tape loops where half of the loop sticks to the shingles and the rest will face out and maybe work the way flypaper does. That would make it Peckerpaper I guess. It is times like this that I regret not continuing the Ducttape Understanding and Help (DUH) support group over at BigDogs forum. Sheesh, that would have come in handy now.

And ya gotta good point about bugs. Sheesh! To think my house has been bugged! I thought that only happened in movies. Probably the best thing to do is postpone my ductvest project (I am inventing a 27 layer ducttape bullet-proof vest thatll stop a 22). Then I can use my ducttape supply to cover the outside of the house with the Peckerpaper (Do you think the neighbors would notice?), and I could also check for any bugs. Uh, how do I check for bugs? In the movies they usually attach something to the phone but I dont know if that will work in my case :)

Thanks for the suggestions. I'll discuss them with Dear Mrs. Michaels later. Also, more ideas are always welcome.

-- Rob Michaels (rat@tat.tat), April 04, 2000.

Here is an update Gang: After thinking some more about the suggestions, I came to the delusion that I shouldnt wait to try them out. So I got the old ladder out and had a few nips to relax (I am afeared of heights). I made ductloops and then put the Peckerpaper over the dime and nickle-sized holes. I had covered most of em when suddenly it happened; Dear Mrs. Michaels got back home. She saw me up the ladder right away, or since I was on the left side of the house maybe it is left away  anyway, she sees me and she also sees the emtpy six pack and asks what are you doin? and so I tells her I'm fixin to peckerproof the whole house with ductloop peckerpaper.

Ya know what she did? She up and laughed at me! Thats right, she was LOL and ROTFLTSP! Said she always knowed I waz crazy. Said it won't work. Said I couldnt possibly cover the whole house with ductloops anyhow and to just Stop it right this instant or she would call the police on me agin and tell em I am DWI (ducttaping while intoxicated).

I figured I might as well stop since I got most of the holes covered by now anyway and we can see if it works. (She thinks the house is bugged too, and that is why Woody is actin up.) So now its wait and see if the Peckerpaper is peckerproof, and I will try and see if there Really are any bugs (though I do not know how to do this). Thats it for now. BFN, Rob

-- (rat@tat.tat), April 04, 2000.

Rob, being the helpful person that I am, :-) I looked up Woodpecker damage prevention information. I found some information on a Colorado education web site. Hopefully it will help with Yankee Woodpeckers, too! Here is a link (I hope) Woody Woodpecker :-)

Lon, looking forward to more of your stories. :-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), April 04, 2000.

Rob, DWI - Ducktaping While Intoxicated? HOO-HA!

Boy, am I glad I found you guys again.

And Gayla, I'm looking forward to some more stories, too. Whaddya think, "Ole Lon's Escape From The Planet Farfegnuggen"? Or, "DiETeR goes to Washington"?

Whatever, ya'll will have to help and give me something to work with.

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), April 04, 2000.

Thanks a heap Gayla! That link really helped a lot. I just showed it to Marie and now shes not gonna lock me in the basement after all! Here is one excerpt:

Woodpeckers cause an annoyance by hammering or "drumming" on houses and property damage by drilling holes in wood siding and eaves. Woodpeckers hammer to attract mates, to establish and/or defend a territory, to excavate nesting or roosting sites, and to search for insects. Wooden shingles, cedar or redwood siding, metal or plastic guttering, television antennas and light posts are selected as drumming sites because these materials produce loud sounds. Woodpeckers frequently damage cedar

So now we know the 4 possible whys. Never would have guessed that it may be trying to attract a mate. Poor little bugger is pining (or cedaring?) for a lover. Or it thinks our house is its territory and it is defending it (doubtful)... thats Murphys job and he takes it very seriously! I would also have to eliminate the nesting/roosting possibility in our case, and last is the possibility of yummy bugs. Seems like being hungry or horny are the two most likely reasons.

If it is hungry I can just eliminate the bugs and then it will look for food elsewhere. Ill try and find out how to identify the signs for any infestation. But if its horny, well, I wonder if we could maybe catch it (with the peckerpaper) and have it fixed; you know, circumspection. Then we can return it to go about its other business after a short time. Marie wants to just get out the 870 (she is a good shot too!) so I showed her as how we might need to get a permit and once again she was ROTFL!

Thanks again Gayla. You did not earn the Title FRLian Chief Investigatress for naught!!!!

And Lon, I also would like to encourage you to write more. As far as something to work with, as an FRLian, I am sure something will come up :)

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@rat.tat), April 04, 2000.

ROTFLTIP, for sure!! Rob, having solved the woodpecker problem, how are you going to solve the beavers? Do you have duct tape beaver catchers, too?

Lon, I like the idea of Lon's Escape from wherever, but you may have a problem persuading him to leave - he's finally found paradise. (Not on earth, but then you can't have everything :-))

Of course, with the FRL back together again, it makes me wonder just how true that truism is (^_^)

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), April 04, 2000.

O K, Rob, O K.

We may be on to something now. I consulted with cuzzin Iggie, and got some fresh ideas. Here's what we do:

You go down and rent a female woodpecker/cheerleader costume, see. And when the little guy spots you and comes in for a close look - well it's off to join the woodpecker priesthood fer sure!

Or, Or, I know, we get us a tiny little lady woodpecker blow-up doll and place it strategically somewheres within Murphy's reach. Or maybe in an open fuse box or on a live wire (hey, it worked for squirrels, didn't it?).......

Or, Or, yeah, we find out where he lives and buy him a subscription to "Woody Babes" magazine. Subscribe now and get a free Chicks-in-molt calendar! Maybe throw in a little bitty six-pack of jiggle juice......

Or. Or..ya know,... we fill the bird bath and then get these teeny little sharks....don't laugh, they got 'em,....... I saw 'em in Wallyworld once.......I swear......

Or, Or,....Hey! .......I got more......where ya goin'...........hey!

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), April 04, 2000.

(((Tricia))) Glad you enjoyed it :) As far as the beavers,I promised to get you-know-who a replacement tree after all, so seeing the tracks really got her upset considering what happened last time :( Probably will just put good de-fences around the sapling, sprinkle some hot pepper on the ground around the perimeter, set up motion detectors, etc., just the usual stuff :)

Getting back to our favorite FRLian storyteller, perhaps we should all help Lon with some potential titles - he has suggested two already (I like having a DiETeR story - that would really be a hoot and maybe, just maybe, DieTeR himself might find his way over here to DIetErIZe us all!)

How about it folks? Maybe a potential title or two for Lon can help him out a bit with getting the story started. I have a feeling that once he gets past the start there will be no stopping him :)

BFN, Rob

-- (sonofdust@titles.areus), April 04, 2000.

Lon: LOL! Looks like we posted at about the same time. I really am LOL at the blow-up woodpecker idea. I remember that Old Git (now where's she gone off to?) had me ROTFL at a story she told about a blow-up doll... may even be on one of these FRL threads. I also liked the jiggle juice idea too :)

-- (sonofdust@lights.out), April 04, 2000.

Hello, my FRL family!

Tricia the Canuck
Gave me a personal invite
May I lurk here, please?

Posting in the buff?!
Rob's Peckerpaper hi-jenks!
FRL is back!

and on a sadder/personal note:

Dad's gone-no more pain,
his suffering over, mine's not
missing him daily

I've been missing you all and thinking of you but haven't had the energy to post--just lurk on occasion. I'll check back later.

Kindest regards, of course! Linda Mc (formerly newbie but no dummy)

PS, my apologies if my formatting doesn't work...I've been practicing!

-- Linda Mc (jcm@telepath.com), April 05, 2000.

Hi Linda! I was wondering if you would find your way here. (Thanks again Tricia). I was saddened to hear about your dad. I went through something similar and felt it was, in a way, a blessing not to see the suffering continue. Please know that a prayer will be said for you tonight. In good times and bad, the FRL is here for you, for all of us. Welcome Home Linda, no longer a newbie and never a dummy. You were missed. Please dont be a stranger!

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@prayer.tonight), April 05, 2000.

(((((Linda))))) Crying with you at this sad time... It's wonderful to hear from you! As Rob said, welcome home! I will say a prayer for you, too! I know a great Comforter!

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), April 05, 2000.

(((Linda))) I'm glad you popped in long enough to say "hi".

OG said on another thread that she'd be lurking for a while, too. Her life's been roller-coasterish and hectic - but she'll post when she has a bit more time.

I'd like to mention each of you by name, but I don't want to be typing 'til mid-night, so I'll just re-iterate : Welcome to all - active posters and lurkers. Feel free to pipe up any time (even puns are welcome, GB :-)

Rob, ya gotta update us on the woodpecker and beaver situation. If you can come up with a way to banish beavers, *that* might be the trick that'll lure DiEteR out of retiredment.

Any clever suggestions, anyone?

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), April 05, 2000.

FRL? Wow, that sounds so familiar...

:-)

Best wishes!

Mike

==================================================

-- Mike Taylor (mtdesign3@aol.com), April 05, 2000.

Hi Mike! Glad to see you here :)

Here is another update gang: First, I was able to find out several signs to look for in determining if any wee lil beasties are around. I went into the attic and checked the two corners where Woody is pecking away. No signs of infestation. (Actually this surprised me since that means, well, poor little bugger, it means that it is trying to attract a mate!)

I gave this some serious thought. Really :) And that's when it hit me that this may be a good way for youz single FRLians to meet other single folks. Just think of it. First find someone you think you would like to get to know better, then find out where they live, and then try attracting them Woody style! Wait until just after dawn and start hammering at their house so as to attract them to the window. Picture it. Don't ya think that would get your attention? Then once they sees ya you take out the fruitcake and jiggle juice and offer them a breakfast they will never forgit! Sound reasonable?

BTW, the peckerpaper was a dismal failure :( Woody simply ignored it and pecked to the left, or the right, or below, or above. Oh well, we gotta get this here bird a mate right quick. I think Iggie is on the right track. Don't they have stores that cater to them fancy see- thru type clothes (I think its called lounge-array). They must make these same sexy clothes for woodpeckers don't ya think? I hear tell that one of 'em stores even has a catalog (hope it isn't just for cats); think its called Frederick's of Peckerwood or something. Well, now that we know its not critters he's after, we gotta figure a way to get Woody a mate! Maybe that idea about the bird bath (if we fill it with jiggle juice) has some merit. That would make Murphy's day!

Suggestions welcome.

-- (sonofdust@no.bugs), April 05, 2000.

I don't know, Rob,

You fill the bird bath with jiggle juice, and you just might end up with a pickled pecker. Or if you got a bunch of 'em, you might get a peck of pickled peckers!

Then, what ya gonna do? Put a peck of pickled peckers in your pick up?

Perish the thought!

Back to the drawin' board.

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), April 05, 2000.

I thought I would take a minute for some FRLian housekeeping. The total answer count, based on our Official Knower of the Counts figures, are as follows:

FRL 1-16 = 2415

FRL 17 = 70

FRL 18 = 75

FRL 19 = 131 (there were several posts after S.O.B. performed his Official Duty)

Grand Total for FRL 1 through 19 is 2,691 answers!

Long Live the FRL!

And we have a special anniversary coming up next week too. The FRL will become Sweet Sixteen! Hard to believe it will soon be sixteen months ago that the Know Your Fruitcake thread was started! Now if I could only get this woodpecker thing solved, I might find some time to work on the State of the FRL Address :)

Lon: Yep, back to the ol drawing bored. Well, its lights out time now. Maybe someone will come up with an idea. Dang bird! BFN, Rob

-- (sonofdust@prayers.tosay), April 05, 2000.

The FRL's stumped

Rob's bird problem is so hard

We need time to think.

.

And if we take enough time, maybe mating season will be over and the problem moot until next year ;-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), April 06, 2000.

Tricia:

Procrastination AGAIN works its magic. If there are indeed no bugs and the pecking is the work of one seeking a mate, I would think that patience and earplugs may well be the answer. It's certainly hard for humans to discern the pecking sounds that could be associated with a "pimply pecker", or those that might be associated with a "portly pecker", but nature typically rewards its creatures with a mate before their reproductive season expires.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), April 06, 2000.

We have a woodpecker in our yard that likes to peck on my husbands shortwave antenna, which is attached to a high tree limb. It must be looking for a mate. The sound it makes when it pecks is metallic in nature. His beak has got to be getting sore by now. There is a bird house in that tree that I bought at Pier One. It's made of metal. It's pretty, but no bird will nest in it,..my husband says it's because it's not made of wood, and they like to feel they are in a tree hollow. But maybe this woodpecker is different..since he seems to like metal objects.. I hope I hope!!

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), April 06, 2000.

We held a family meeting today about what to do regarding Woody. Everyone voted except Murphy, who just stretched out languidly in the doorway leading to the room (so that we were all forced to step over him). He stayed there quietly and listened with his eyes closed.

The decision was unanimous (though Im not sure Dear Mrs. Michaels was entirely happy about it). Leave Woody alone and let Nature have its way. Hopefully it will attract a mate sooner rather than later. I can easily replace the cedar shingles, and none of his pecking has actually damaged anything else. We noticed also that this morning he was pecking a lot at one of the trees behind the house towards the lake. So maybe thats where the bugs are. Everyone was relieved that at least there are no bugs in the house as far as we can tell, and that he was hammering somewhere else after dawn today! At the end of the meeting Murphy opened his eyes, slowly, and yawned.

Once again, I would like to thank those of you who put in your two cents and tried to help out. We had a bit of fun along the way :)

On another subject, Marie is supposed to go and pick out a replacement sapling this weekend. (I'm goin trout fishin!) Hopefully this tree wont be so expensive, like the last one that was utterly destroyed way before its time :(

Now, bout them beaver tracks.....

-- (sonofdust@rat.tat), April 06, 2000.

Trish!!!

Mating SEASON????!!!!

You mean you got a SEASON for such up there in Canuckianna? Man, oh man, why didn't I find out about such things when I was a teenager? Sure would've simplified things, I tell ya.

Of course, then, Iggie's jiggle juice would be only a seasonal beverage. You know kinda like beer is during football season. Or like beer is during basketball season, or baseball season, or fishing season, or hunting season, or..well you get the idea.

But wade a minute!

Or, do you mean mating season, as like in bear season. You know, where you get to shoot bears. Or deer season, when you get to shoot deers. Or tourist season, where you get to.....what's that?, you don't? (Oh man, is that embarrasing to find out now.)

Anyway, you know, not like open season on mates, huh? I mean we was plannin' on a trip up your way this summer, but if that happens to be mating season, well I don't want the missus getting any ideas. I also don't want her getting a mating license and any of those little carcas tags, neither.

Come to think of it, if it's the other kind of mating season, I still don't want her gettin' any funny ideas. I mean I'm gonna be on vacation! Know what I mean?

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), April 07, 2000.

Michael Taylor! Nice to see you here. How are you?

Rob, please check out this site and tell me what kind of Woodpecker that Woody is. If we're going to find him a suitable mate, we need to know his type. (Aside from the typical male stuff: likes to make lots of noise, 'in the mood' at the crack of dawn, and of course always HUNGRY!) :-) Let me know: Woodpeckers

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), April 07, 2000.

Hi Gayla. I checked the site but Woody Michaels is not pictured there :(

He is a Downy Woodpecker. We know it's a 'he' because the males have a small red head patch that the females do not have. Also, it is easily identifiable by the vertical white stripe on its back. They eat ants, boring insects, spiders (yummy!), snails, seeds, some fruits, and they excavate gourd-shaped nests, usually in dead limbs.

Woody hasn't been around the house much (thankfully). He has been out back by the lake in the same general area now for a couple days and may be nesting (we think). He better watch out for the osprey, (who are especially fond of our trout) and also we have red-tailed hawks! I'll probably be going to Home Despot soon to check and see if they have replacement shingles.

S.O.B. - This is #60 if it is the post after Gayla's woodpeckers link.

Well, trout season opens in about 8 hours :) Early lights out!

Uh, I may not be around much for a while...

-- (sonofdust@gone.fishin), April 07, 2000.

Lon, summer is usually busy season up here - mating is done before or after, not during. Ditto with hunting - you should be okay.

Make sure you get here before the igloos melt ;-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), April 07, 2000.

Lon, forget about DiETeR! The stories I really want to hear, are the 'postcards' from the trips you and Kit take. Did you find your notes?

Rob, catch anything???? :-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), April 08, 2000.

Gayla,

Kit and I will be hittin' the road again on Wednsday. We are going to Llano (TX) for the Llano Crawfish Open. It's a golf tournament with a two day party (Fri & Sat), including a crawfish boil put on by some folks from down here.

They also have a skeet shoot and a fishing tournament for the kids. I don't play golf or shoot skeet nowadays, so we are just going to help with the cooking, serving, cleaning or whatever.

It is the primary fund raiser for the Llano Special Opportunity Center (for handicapped adults).

There's also a TEGA roping event at the arena, and a gen-u-wine country dance in the pavilion Friday and Saturday nights.

Should be a lot of good food and fun, if you are so inclined. We are going in the RV and will stay at the city park where most things are going to be held. I graduated from Llano High in '67, and haven't really spent any time back there since. I hope to renew some old acquaintances.

If any of the forum menbers are in the area, stop in and look for us. Kit and I would love to meet some of you.

After we leave there, we are going down to the Rocksprings area, maybe stay a night at Lost Maples State Park, and depending on the weather, and how tired we are, maybe even Big Bend.

So, I figger, by the time we get back I won't have any excuses not to have some snapshots for ya'll.

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), April 08, 2000.

Lon, I know where Lost Maples State Park is, (I haven't been there myself, but I have a friend who said it is wonderful!) but I have NO idea where Llano is. Is the name pronounced like an L? We learned in Wales, a double L is pronounced like an H.

Thank you for the invitation, but my husband and I will be in the Rocky Mountains (Colorado) this Thursday through Sunday. I hope you have a lot of fun! We look forward to some neat 'snapshots' when you get back.

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), April 08, 2000.

Gayla, Llano is out slightly northwest of Austin, about fifty miles. The second "l" is silent. It comes from "Llano Estacado", or the "staked plains", of the Spanish explorers. It is quite an important and unique area for geolgists, and is known for the "Llano Uplift". Lots of surface granite (Enchanted Rock is nearby), marble and even the occasional topaz. It was a good place to be a kid.

But, if you are going to the rockies, I think you will be expected to post some snapshots as well. I will look forward to them.

Since you were kind enough to ask, I have posted some of my older postcards for you. I started a new thread just for such. Hope you like them.

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), April 08, 2000.

Lon and Gayla, I sure hope you enjoy your trips.

Isn't the Spanish double L pronounced y as in La Jolla? (Hoya is correct pronunciation, I believe). Anyway, my Uncle Lloyd always just pronounced his name as if there were only one L...but he's neither Welsh nor Spanish.

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), April 09, 2000.

For the photo enthusiasts in the crowd, discovered a nifty little site... http://www.photopoint.com/ where you can set up your own free photo album. Or woodpecker viewing site.

;-D

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), April 09, 2000.

Where's SOBob??? The new answer numbers are shrinking again - we need our Count!

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), April 09, 2000.

Ah -

The pleasant luxuries of re0uniting, and the agonies of disconnecting duct tape.....

A few things of note from above that must be corrected and commented (or coloned (or semi-coloned - if coloning is too messy) to make periodic comments)...

If "helen (handbasket_helena@hotmail.com)" is here, does that mean we can refer to her as "Hellen-a-handbasket"?

If so, does it burn the handbasket? If not, what is the handbasket maiden of?

Catty-pelts. If the cat is pulted, what part goes and which part stays? (Does it matter on which side the part in the pelt is combed?)

Can you part a pelt? Can you pet a part?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), April 11, 2000.

On the subject of Woodenpeckers.....and get your mind(s) out of the gutter right now! Shame, shame, shame.....interesting, no doubt, but shameful nonetheless (or much the more, which comes first....but, there y'all are, back in the gutter with your nasty assumptions....)

Anyway - We, two, have woodpeckers pecking holes in the walls of the castle....

The peckers seemed to be enlarging the knotholes, rather than boring new holes - even though a knothole isn't there in the firstplace, since it isn't a hole, but rather wasn't a hole, since it was filled with a knot.

Regardless, the not-holes were being rapidly replaced with real holes, except the real holes were larger than the not-holes. This is a real problem, since the real-holes were not wood, but holes. Thus, the squirrels and chipmonks (which are not-chipnuns, which are really there, (or here) except then they'd be chip-nones) - but I digress - so the squirrels were running through the not-holes through the spaces were the real wood used to be - but isn't. (Or wasn't.)

So, to make a not-story about real wood not being there (or here) shorter - rather than larger, as the woodenpeckers were doing) I placed large squares of real steel plate under the not-holes.

Then, the woodenpeckers put not-dents in the plate, rather than expanding the not-holes. Many not-dents, but no not-holes.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), April 11, 2000.

The FRL will now come to order for official beeswax.

Happy Anniversary FRLians!!!! Yes, it was sixteen months ago that the Know Your Fruitcake thread was started. The FRL is Sweet Sixteen today! It is somehow appropriate that Sir Robert has returned to us on this suspicious occasion. Let us all rejoice in our anniversary, and continue to be fruitful. Perhaps we can even get some of the chatterers over here to help us make merry during our Sweet Sixteen Week. Long live the FRL!

And now, it gives me great pleasure to announce that Princess Tricia is being awarded The Fruitcake Cross, one of our highest honors, for her efforts both on and off the thread to keep this here FRL sound.

Tricia, please kneel. Thank you. As Chieftin of the FRL, and by the powers arrested in me, I hereby ducttape the Fruitcake Cross onto your hair for all to see. Congratulations! You may rise now. (cyber-applause)

My fellow FRLians, we have two reasons to celebrate now! Long Live our Fruitcake Freedoms!

-- (sonofdust@sweet.sixteen), April 11, 2000.

.... but fruitcakes are rounded or squared or rectangularated, not crossed.....

If they were crossed, they'd go in both directions when lunched from the catapelt, 'cause they'd hit in the middle.

(Though some wood argue that any fruitcake worth its metal would hit the middle of any who would would dare cross its path...about 3" above the belt.)

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), April 11, 2000.

Ohh wow!!!

Now that I've been in-duct-ed to the order of Fruitcake cross - I have an excuse for my ever-shortening hair. I hate pain! So naturally I had to have my hair cut to get the cross out of it. The fact that I had my hair cut last week and the cross installed this week just proves that I am living in the land of queens - a la Alice Through the Looking-Glass.

.

Down past shoulder-blades

Then cut to just past the ears

Now it's very short.

.

If I keep going on this way, I will end up bald :-)

.

My daughter is gone :-(

Back just one week, she won't stay

(Band to Vancouver)

.

She'd better be careful or we'll get used to her being not here; kinda like those not-holes!

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), April 11, 2000.

This whole hole thing has my brain tied up in knots. Are knot wholes only halves? Or are they not? Maybe they are like donot, er, donut wholes. I never could figure out where the holes in donuts went to. Maybe it is that same place that socks go when you put 'em in the dryer. When we buy a donut we get the whole thing including the hole. And why are they called donuts. Most of 'em have no nuts, but some have knots, but not the nutty whole grain ones with the holes. I like the whole chocolate nutless knotless ones (with a hole in the middle). I wonder if we could use them on the fruitypult and lob 'em at Woody. Nah, he's been behiving, uh, behaving himself, best to just let him alone. Just another mystery I guess.

-- (sonofdust@do.nut), April 11, 2000.

HAPPY 16th ANNIVERSARY!

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), April 11, 2000.

Oops! Sorry! :-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), April 11, 2000.

My dad had an old Mother Goose type rhyme he'd say to me :

"As I was walking up the stair/ I met a man who wasn't there/ He wasn't there again today/ I wish, I wish he'd go away!"

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), April 12, 2000.

Oh, and Happy 16th all :-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), April 12, 2000.

Happy Semi-Anniversary FRL!

(Rob n Robert... please use this stealth woodpecker observation and move it elsewhere device with care... i.e dont pop the peckers... lethal potential here).

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), April 12, 2000.

But, m'dear lady Diane....them's there colorfull woodypecker mobilizers aren't quiet working right: the woodypeckers look like they are popping the ballonies before they get outta sight. (We are assuming they are already out of mind.) ...... Does this mean they can be filled with nothing so they rise faster? However, if they are colorful, then can we really say they are actually filled with nothing since they are filled alrady ..... does red weigh more than blue or green since the light waves can't be heavy if they are at opposite ends of the spectrum?

Rob has a lot of nothing - which is probably very light cause it doesn't have something - from the missing donot holes he can use to replace whatever is inside them. And if they are stuffed with lots of nothing from the nothing that was removed from the donot holes and the not holes from my house, then there should be plenty of room left over cause they're filled up completely with nothing - which is the opposite of being empty of everything.....

Looks like every dadgum one of 'em blows up too soon. Maybe we can re-calibrake them with a balloney speeder-upper. Course if they are there (but are not here either) then they are already mobilizing them out-of-here and so maybe it is working.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), April 12, 2000.

Robert, it may just be my computer or my eyes, but it looks to me like them there balloons are fading not popping - I assume they are going to the lost dimension. That's where the socks go from dryers and gloves from closets. They send us their extra hangers in return.

I met someone from that dimension once - they were lost here! And I think I've been there once when I took an alternate route to work and ended up lost for a while...

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), April 12, 2000.

Happy Sweet Sixteen :-) Fellow FRLians!

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), April 12, 2000.

My Fellow FRLians:

When we think of "Sweet Sixteen", many things may come into our minds. As I think back over these sixteen months we have shared together as FRLians, I am reminded of certain things that exemplify our true FRLian Spirit  ordinary things: A tissue, a button, a toothpick, a band-aid, a candy hug, and an eraser. . .

Tissue: to remind us to dry someones tears, or perhaps our own when we are in need of comfort

Button: to remind us to button our lips to keep from saying things we may regret

Toothpick: to remind us to pick out the good qualities that each of us has

Band-aid: to remind us of healing hurt feelings, either ours or those of someone else

Candy hug: to remind us that everyone needs a hug now and then

Eraser: to remind us that we all make mistakes sometimes, and, thats all right

Heres to some reminders of our past, as we look forward to a Spring of Hope.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@sweet.sixteen), April 12, 2000.

(((Rob)))

It would be a candy-hug if I knew how to do them here :-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), April 12, 2000.

Oooooh- Ahhhhhhh.

Published again! Yay! Hooray....

[...and sound of one hand clapping while the other pats oneself on the back.....]

Only a letter-to-the-editor, not a complete column or article, but still, 'tis nice to be printed so one's ideas can be reviewed and commented upon (or criticized after....) by other readers.

In today's WorldNetDaily, at www.worldnetdaily.com in the "letters" section.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), April 13, 2000.

Robert: I'm gonna have to have more information in order to find your article. So far all I'm comin' up with is: "Doc to confused man: Try both sexes," or maybe "Legalized bigamy"? LOL! Linda

-- LindaMc (jcm@telepath.com), April 13, 2000.

Okay - The "letters" part of WND is here:

http://www.wnd.com/bluesky_e-mail/98.e-mail.shtml

.... and my little piece of it is under the caption "Going for the guns?" 'Bout 4-5 letters from the top, but that will change tommorrow and the day after.

The text is a "little bit" political, and so doesn't specifically need repeating here, since woodenpeckering eating birds and tree-eating-beavers are more relevent to Rob's woes and tribulations.....but I do wonder wonder what would happen if there were beaver-eating trees discovered someplace.

It irrelevent though....They'd probably die out after a few generations....not enough them would successfully reproduce.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), April 14, 2000.

Robert, Good Sir, Bearer of the Metal of Fruitfullness, ya did it again! After reading your letter, I am reminded of a line that S.O.B. used to write, something like Aw cmon now, dont hold back, tell us how you really feel :)

BTW, if anyone has S.O.Bs e please let him know about where we are! Ditto for all of our other MIC (missing in cyberspace) FRLians. There are too many of youz guyz to mention, and besides, I would shirley leave one of you out by accident if I started listing names. If you have found us and are lurking, please consider de-cloaking and saying hello.

Woody has been at it every morning without fail, but is staying away from the house, thankfully. Marie didnt get her sapling yet and there have been no signs of our paddle-tailed fiends lately. Looks like it is gonna be a nice weather weekend, so Im a goin fishin agin. Be well all.

Gayla: Almost forgot  yes, I caught 3 nice-sized brook trout and a smallmouth bass on opening day :)

-- (sonofdust@gone.fishin), April 14, 2000.

Sir Rob...As the memorable questions from Sir Lon of the mating seasons in Canadianainainan remain unresolved, , I must ask with respect to your "catch of the first day" ... Was this on opening day of mating season?

If so, which mate was fishing? ...and which mate was catching (hell?) for it? Which was successful: the first mate, or the better half? The other half?

Why fishing for more mates in any case .... isn't one hard enough to train and keep in stock?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), April 14, 2000.

Wellllll,

I only fish for compliments, and hunt for keys, so I guess I'm the wrong one to ask about Canadianianan mating, hunting or fishing seasons. Now if you want to know about the weather seasons - see the rant thread :-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), April 16, 2000.

Robert: Since it was opening day, we are talking about the First mate; Furtherless, as trout became 'IN' season on opening day, that makes them in-mates, until you catch them and then they are no longer in at all, but out, even though you can put them back in, unless you keep them... then they go home to be cleaned and are put in something else and cooked, after which you can take them out again and put them in your mouth and eat them, after which they will come out again, uh, er, nevermind... anyway, I hope this clarifies things!

((Tricia)) You have gotten (and deserved) plenty of compliments, and even have been awarded one the FRL's most prestigious honors! I seem to recall you even had a 'secret admirer' back on TB2000 didn't you? Well, I have never received ANY honor or metal like you and Good Sir Cook and other FRLians, so that is why I have to fish and hunt :( Being ChiefTin, as with most jobs like this, can sometimes be a thnakless job, as I am sure you can depreciate. Sheesh! To think Lon has his own fan club! So, I just takes what I can, which is just a few fish here and there, and am content with that :)

-- (sonofdust@no.honors), April 16, 2000.

Hmmmmn.....methinks he is out fishing for incomplete compliant complients, eh?

Nonethemore, nevertheless, and whatsoeverhereeverafter....how many ingredients are in a fish?.....If it is less than 3 I might be able to cook of them.....but I understand from your brief description that one requirement for cooking fish is removing various items first.

Thus, one could perhaps add more ingrediants later, since there need only be a net three ingredients in the recipe. (Excluding the net and the hook....)

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), April 16, 2000.

Robert, I think he wants a medal, not compliments - but he might settle for his own fan club. Personally, if I were the organizer sort, I'd organize a fan club for Rob - I already belong to the Lon Frank Fan Club.

What I can do is start a new thread for the naming of Rob's medal. And since I've been asked to start a new thread anyway (there are some new FRLians who aren't used to our thread lengths :-)...

See y'all over at the new thread!

PS - I've e'd SOBob, but fruitlessly thus far - anyone have a better addy than his buffgun to reach him?? Fruitless is a terrible thing on a Fruitcake Resistance League mission!! We need our count!

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), April 16, 2000.

Your luck just ran out again folks. I have returned from where I was to where I am at now.

I got the E from you Ms. Tricia, and I wasn't intentionally being coy, shy, bashful, etc. I just found a new (to me) way to kill a PC and I am just now getting it resurected enough to use, to a small degree. I read the E yesterday FWIW.

I will be back after I get this thing up and running again so enjoy your peace and quiet until then.

BTW, never mess with the registry of your computer unless you can keep your mind focused on what you're doing, and make certain that any pets are well away from you, and preferably out of the room.

I also lost the chat room(s) too, so if someone would be so kind --- the E is real.

TIA

S.O.B.

-- sweetolebob (buffgun@hotmail.com), April 18, 2000.

Welcome home, SOB! :-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), April 22, 2000.