This is unbelievably funny!greenspun.com : LUSENET : TB2K spinoff uncensored : One Thread
A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears,"Ribbit 9 Iron." The man looks around and doesn't see anyone.
Again,he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to provethe frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wowthat's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?" The frog reply's, "Ribbit Lucky frog."
The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?," the man asks "Ribbit 3 wood." The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one! The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog,"OK where to next?" The frog replies,"Ribbit Las Vegas."
They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000, black 6." Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, the man figures what the heck Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table. The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel.
He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful." The frog replies, "Ribbit Kiss Me." He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year old girl. "And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room so help me God or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton."
-- Margene P (Margenep@aol.com), March 26, 2000
-- gilda (email@example.com), March 26, 2000.
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" He quickly adds "...think hard before giving me a stupid answer." The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says,"Hmmmm...the suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer...wait here for a few minutes while check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it...it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation? "That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
-- kritter (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 26, 2000.
Now that's funny, and there's a message there.
-- gilda (email@example.com), March 27, 2000.