Noah's Ark today! : LUSENET : TB2K spinoff uncensored : One Thread

Noah's Ark...if it happened today And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In 6 months I'm going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind of living thing on the planet. I am commanding you to build an Ark." And in a flash of lightning, He delivered the specifications for an Ark. "Okay," said Noah, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints. "6 months, and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You'd better have the Ark completed, or learn to swim for a very long time." Six months passed, the skies clouded up and rain began to fall. The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping... And there was no Ark.

"Noah", shouted the Lord. "Where is the Ark?" "Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best. But there were big problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the Ark construction project, and your plans didn't meet code. So I had to hire an engineer to re-draw the plans. Then I got into a big fight over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system. "Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning by building the Ark in My front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission. "Then I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the Spotted Owl. I had to convince the U.S. Fish and Wildlife that I need the wood to save the Owls. But they wouldn't let me catch any owls. So, no owls. The carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Relations Board before anyone would pick up a saw or hammer. Now we have sixteen carpenters going on the boat, and still no owls.

"Then I started gathering up animals, and got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me taking only two of each kind. Just when I got the suit dismissed, EPA notified me that I couldn't complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being. Then the Army Corp of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed new flood plain. I sent them a globe. Right now, I'm still trying to resolve a complaint from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission over how many Croatians I'm supposed to hire. The IRS has seized all my assets claiming I'm trying to avoid paying taxes by leaving the country. And I just got a notice from the state about owing them some kind of use tax. I really don't think I can finish the Ark for at least another five years," Noah wailed.

The sky began to clear. The sun began to shine. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled. "You mean you're not going to destroy the earth?" Noah asked hopefully.

"No," said the Lord sadly. "The government already has."

-- fonzy the man (, March 24, 2000


'i sent them a globe'!! great fonzy, thanks for starting the day!!

-- it's friday (im@self.employed), March 24, 2000.

Fortunately, the Ark was just a myth in the first place. A good story though...

-- Y2K Pro (, March 24, 2000.

Y2K Pro said:

>>Fortunately, the Ark was just a myth in the first place.

Hmmmm...I disagree.

Do you have a theory as to what this structure is that rests near the top of the mountains of Ararat?

-- I believe in Him (Jesus is King@Kingdom.come), March 24, 2000.

Y2K Pro does not believe in anything. In fact he does not even believe he really exists. He believes he's an ILLUSION!!!!

-- ... (, March 24, 2000.

-- I believe in Him

Sorry, I do not mean to in any way belittle your beliefs. If you believe that the ark existed, then I am happy for you.

-- Y2K Pro (, March 24, 2000.

-- Y2K Pro

No offense taken. My skin is pretty thick. Some say it matches the thickness of my head :)

I am curious though, what is your take on the link to the .jpg I provided you with?

I promise not to bite. I do enjoy discussions with sceptics. It helps me grow in my faith.

-- I believe in Him (Jesus is King@Kingdom.come), March 24, 2000.

-- I believe in Him

From the distance that the picture was taken and from the size of the picture, any guess that I would make would be pure speculation. It might be a Poisin Chemtrail Fluid Repository Center(PCFRC)for all I know...

-- Y2K Pro (, March 24, 2000.

I believe:

Do you just ignore all the facts that clearly indicate that Ron Wyatt was a fake?

Ron Wyatt's findings debunked by Christians

-- Anita (notgiving@anymore.thingee), March 24, 2000.

Fair enough. This 'structure' located on the mountains of Ararat in Turkey when measured is 515 feet 7 inches which is 300 Royal Egyptian cubits. The width of it is 87 feet which translates to 50 Royal Egyptian cubits.

Genesis 6:15 And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits.

Nearby the location of the structure in question, are these peculiar 'stones'( According to the local population, there are "several more in the area" that are nearly identical shape and size with the same strange hole near the top. It is speculated, that these 'stones' were hung over the side of the Ark to prevent violent movement on very stormy seas.

There has been analysis of the petrified wood rib timbers found there ( ). Lab results of these and other tests, state these items to have been man made/constructed.

Metal detector scans revealed the presence of metal in distinct paterns ( )

The Turkish government has also setup a 'Welcome Center' nearby for tourists.

I have more....just not enough time today.

Relatives will be spending time with us this weekend so I will be pre-occupied. I will check for your replies, and respond on Monday.

Have a nice weekend Y2K!

-- I believe in Him (Jesus is King@Kingdom.come), March 24, 2000.

-- Anita said:

>>Do you just ignore all the facts that clearly indicate that Ron Wyatt was a fake?

To what 'facts' do you refer?

>>Ron Wyatt's findings debunked by Christians

Hmmmm... Rons rebutals for his detractors can be found here:


-- I believe in Him (Jesus is King@Kingdom.come), March 24, 2000.

I found this interesting, from both a scientific and a religious point of view, perhaps you will as well: Bob Ballard Finds Proof of Noah-Like Flood


-- FactFinder (, March 25, 2000.

The missing link (pun intended) Bob Ballard Finds Proof of Noah-Like Flood


-- FactFinder (, March 25, 2000.

And not to be outdone....... here's Drudge with a link off of today's ac=002595646834577&rtmo=Vw44uuxx&atmo=tttttttd&pg=/et/00/3/26/wsod26.h tml

-- FactFinder (, March 25, 2000.

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