There was an old man called Dog

Who in life's destiny was only a mere cog

Try as he might

He couldn't muster a fight

His drab insults were just recorded in a log *********************************************

There was an old man called Dog

Who in life's destiny was only a mere cog

He was the lone sprog

Of a sow and a hog

He could only wallow all day long in a bog ******************************************

There was an old man called Dog

Who in life's destiny was only a mere cog

His only true fate

Was to rise to the bait

He could just stand there with face all agog *****************************************

There was an old man called Dog

Who in life's destiny was only a mere cog

He thought he could be

Another Einstein you see

But his mind it was just a dense fog ***************************************

There was an old man called Dog

Who in life's destiny was only a mere cog

He was a wheezer

A pathetic old geezer

He just wondered around in a smog **************************************

There was an old man called Dog

Who in life's destiny was only a mere cog

He passed each fine day

In the same tired old way

He found just existing a really hard slog ****************************************

-- richard (ohsirrichard@ibm.com), March 23, 2000

Answers

There once was a named Richard

Who didn't go by Rich, Ricky, or Rick

Bad limericks about others

One right after another

To compensate for his very small dick

-- CJS (cjs@noemail.com), March 23, 2000.

There was a dumb Brit named Rick

Who wrote a very bad lim'rick

'bout a man thought God

(But his name was Dog)

so he got called Needledick

There was a dumb Brit named Rick

who thought he could write a lim'rick

first was the Lady

next came a doggy

but his verses were pathetic

There was a dumb Brit named Rick

who thought he could write a lim'rick

he used that to flame

but he was so lame

the targets felt a pinprick.

-- Da Poet (get@life.dick), March 23, 2000.

I second that!

Mr. Dog and Mr. CJS have WAY more intelligence and testosterone than you.

shrivel up and go away, dick.

~*~

-- (Ladylogic@....), March 23, 2000.

Bravo! Or shall I say touche', Sir Richard.

Richard may I call your sir,

There is one thing I can concur

limericks can be contrite

and have an extrordinary bite

so much more than a slur.

snoozin'...

The Dog

-- The Dog (dogdesert@hotmail.com), March 24, 2000.

thanks Mr Dog, you can now join the Round Table

Arise Sir Dog (sword touches both shoulders)

PS to the ungrateful others

OK this is fact:

I am a member of British Mensa with an IQ of 152 (cert to prove it)

and I have a 7 1/2 inch dick (OK not eliglible to join the 8" club but close)

honest guv. (cockney expression)

-- richard (ohsirrichatd@aol.com), March 24, 2000.

Yeah well, I'm a blonde with 24 inch waist and a double D cup bra, and I can fuck all the Mansan's in england during my lunch time.

-- Da Poet (so.wh@ts.yer.point), March 24, 2000.

So says Richard the Brit Im a Mensa,

Then he acts in a way makes no sensa,

First he pulls out his poor little penis,

To perform a procedure so heinous,

I can stretch it to 8 and Ill betcha!

-- Ra (tion@l.1), March 25, 2000.

Richard - Are those measurements length or circumfrence?

Poet - Aren't the Mansans in California? I think that Charles is in prison there, somewhere.

-- Pecker Checker (Medic@free.clinic), March 25, 2000.

I'm moving to England... ;-)

-- Deb M. (vmcclell@columbus.rr.com), March 26, 2000.