The irreverent giggles at the shenanigans & the going-ons at the old TB2000 endeared everyone participating to wild colonial lads-n-sheilas way down in the antipodean sludge. It was even more fun if you're bog Irish! Then it would be primeordial sludge...

And I thus offer this morsel from the sludge collection, somewhat apt in the circumstance I muse late tonight with cicada deafening accord...

Flogging a dead horse!
Indian tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in business we often try other strategies.

How many of these ring a familiar tune?

- Buy a stronger whip.
- Change riders.
- Appoint a committee to study the horse.
- Move the horse to a new location.
- Arrange to visit other sites to benchmark how they ride dead horses.
- Create a training session to increase our ability to ride.
- Schedule a meeting with the dead horse to discuss his productivity problems.
- Do a Cost Analysis Study to see if contractors can ride it more cheaply.
- Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.
- Provide status reports daily on the dead horse.
- Provide an incentive bonus for the jockey.
- Add more managers/supervisors per dead horse.
- Rename the horse.
- Hire a consultant to give an opinion on dead horses.
- Hire another consultant to refute the first consultant's opinion that the horse is really dead.
- Bring in a motivational speaker to see if you can't get the horse to rise from the dead.
- Form a team, positioned to shift the horse's ideas.
- Finally, if all else fails, prop the horse up, put ribbons in his mane and tail, and see if you can't find a buyer.

From the antipodean alter of rebellion - I'd tip out a crate of tea too if I could locate one...

Regards from Down Under

-- Pieter (zaadz@icisp.net.au), March 04, 2000

Answers

Ahem! It's late. I posted the above irreverent material to bait William J. Schenker, MD after his derogatory reflection upon OZ dwellers in the 'Is it just me?' thread at;
Link

No harm meant. Good night...

-- Pieter (zaadz@icisp.net.au), March 04, 2000.

Love it! LOL. That horse sounds like what I tried with a lemon car once.

-- gilda (jess@listbot.com), March 04, 2000.

PIETER:

Criminys, Pieter! --- I was sure YOU were a dead horse ... I've been trying to get a rise out of you lo this past week or two ... you persistently refused to respond to my witty globalizing slurs on all you Down Unders.

Now you may try to hide out under a clever pseudonym (One of my hobbies is tracking the land of origin by the spelling of the name and accent, or the U.S. state of origin by the accent.) Thus, if I weren't on to your tricks, I would have put you as a Dutchman by your first name, and a Hungarian(?)by your last name Zaadz(?). But the ugly truth probably will turn out to be that you are really a "Smith" or a "Llewellyn" or an "O'Hare" -- in other words, a direct descendent of all those theives who downloaded off Cooke's trips to the Primordial Pit, --- and thus the pitiful possessor of genes which INTRINSICALLY prevent you from making an honest living.

Nevertheless, I'll simmer down and accept you as a visitor to the Land Where English Was Finally Properly Pronounced, IF you'll do me one favor. My Alzheimer's has caused me to forget the name of a dish that some Aussie friends wanted to serve me when I lived in Park City, UT. It had a GREAT name (Aboriginean name) and was some kind of worm, or grub. Could you jog my memory? Tnx much,

Billy Jim

-- William J. Schenker, MD (wjs@linkfast.net), March 04, 2000.

PIETER:

Almost forgot my original reason for responding to your post. Yep, I've lived long enough, and worked in enough large corporate environments, to vouch for all the items on your 'dead horse' list. But in the Utopia we are designing there'll be none of that. Tnx for the contribution, which suggests the flaw in "Oh, whatever the technological problem that's thrown at us moderns, common sense and that old can do spirit will eventually prevail."

Just trying to re-establish my credentials as an '11.5' Doomer, I remain,

Bill

-- William J. Schenker, MD (wjs@linkfast.net), March 04, 2000.

Hello MD Billy,
Early Sunday Morning in OZ. You are Euro-centric enough to almost have my origin. To aid your ancient inquisition try www.icisp.net.au and everything you find is by the Frisian. 'The William Wallace' was the only one who got it, and Carl Jenkins got it too.

Witchity Grub is the native dish you ask for. It tastes a little bit like peanut paste, but I go by hearsay only after chickening out when proffered the wriggly delight in a plastic bucket. Washes down well with lager I'm told.

Regards from Down Under,

-- Pieter (zaadz@icisp.net.au), March 04, 2000.

WITCHITY GRUB:

Bullseye -- that was it -- I knew it all the time -- I didn't really need your help -- but tnx anyway.

I'll go look up that URL right now.

BTW, how come you guys are all screwed up with your calendar and timepiece? Here, at the center of the English-speaking world it's only 4 in the afternoon.

Re witchity grubs on the plate, would it work if you beered up THOROUGHLY before you took your first bite. If so I may have you FedEx me some grubs AND Au ale.

BJ

-- William J. Schenker, MD (wjs@linkfast.net), March 04, 2000.

WITCHITY GRUB:

Just back from the URL....Holy cripes! -- You're a Frieslander!!

My 1st encounter with one of you animals is a patient I had back in WA State. I was back in Minnesota for a visit to the in-laws, and was describing the funny-looking facial features of this patient to Papa Carlson, when he suddenly exclaimed, "Why he's a Frieslander!" "Oh? How could you tell, Dad?" "They all look like that....that's what happens when you keep marrying your cousins."

Well, I'm glad you made the move to a little higher ground, geographically and genetically.

Seriously, I've been admiring every post you made on the old TB2K. Keep it up.

Bill

-- William J. Schenker, MD (wjs@linkfast.net), March 04, 2000.

bold off

-- Pieter (zaadz@icisp.net.au), March 04, 2000.