I have heard many refer to this board as an addiction. I am in denial, so I am not going to say I am addicted, but I have developed these 12 steps for those who are:

1) We admitted we were powerless over TB2000, that our lives had become unmanageable.

2)Came to believe that TPTB could restore us to sanity.

3) Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of the .gov/.mil establishment as we understand them.

4) Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our posting and lurking behavior.

5) Admitted to the .gov/.mil, ourselves, and Lady Logic the exact nature of our wrongs.

6) Became entirely ready for the .gov/.mil to remove our defects of posting/lurking.

7) Humbly asked them to delete our shortcomings.

8) Made a list of all the pollies we have harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

9) Made direct amends wherever possible, except when to do so would make it TOO obvious we were completely wrong.

10) Continued to take personal inventory, and if we log back onto the board, promptly admit it.

11) Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with .gov/.mil, praying only for knowledge of their will for us, and the power to carry it out without question.

12) Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other TB2000 sufferers who have not seen the light, and to practice these principals in all of our affairs.

FWIW!

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), February 29, 2000

Answers

Hello, my name is Bonnie ...

-- Normally (Oxsys@aol.com), February 29, 2000.

Hi, I'm Chuck and I'm a Friend of Futureshock......

-- Chuck, a night driver (rienzoo@en.com), February 29, 2000.

Is this an open meeting?

-- Johnny (jljtm@bellsouth.net), February 29, 2000.

Under Item 9 (Which should've been higher on the list IMHO)- .. and have VOWED to spouse and family to demonstrate that there IS rational (?) life further that 3.5 feet from a computer keyboard.

I said 3.5 feet 'cuz Chuck the nite driver wears a 33 inch sleeve!

-- Lurker in Chief & Resident Editor (rienzoo@en.com), February 29, 2000.

ROTFLMAO!!!

Seriously, there is something of a "withdrawal" situation associated with this...now that the Leap Year has Leaped!

-- K. Stevens (kstevens@ It ALL went away last month.com), February 29, 2000.

Johnny-

Yes, this is an open meeting. For those who are TB2000 addicts and for those who may THINK they have a problem!

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), February 29, 2000.

Hi, Bonnie!!

-- (RUOK@yesiam.com), February 29, 2000.

Hi, my name is Terry.

I blew up my TV.

I home-schooled my dogs.

I cut up my credit cards ten years ago and only pay cash now.

My home and car are paid off.

I don't own any stocks.

Please! Is there any hope left for me? I came to this board looking for comfort.

-- (bigmouth@home.still), February 29, 2000.

KB,

Quickly! Grab your keys and go to Northland Mall. Apply for Sears- Penneys-Lazrus cards. Charge a new TV! Sell that Volvo you're driving and buy a Neon! (heh-heh)

And while you're at it, take me to lunch at Wendy's! Then we'll skip work and watch soaps all afternoon on your new TV. Maybe Time-Warner will do an emergency order. Then you'll need clothing! Let's see -- designer stuff! Yeah! (You think that I know anything about mainstream culture?)

In any case, let the dogs out, please. I'm going to be late. (ouch!)

-- (ladybuckeye_59@yahoo.com), February 29, 2000.

Yo, Lady Buckeye, You need this program. You live on the Internet. I know better than to take you to lunch anywhere that doesn't have computers and/or working two-way radios. Your eyes glaze over, you pout. Without TB2000, you have nothing of value to say. Get help now! See you at the Union. KB isn't online until evening.

-- (bigmouth@work.now), February 29, 2000.

I may need "The Program," but I live on I-71, not the Internet, and if traffic backs up any farther from the pothole repair program, Bigmouth, you aren't going to make it to the game tonight. So there! When's the next "TB2000 Anon" meeting? I'll bring the chocolate cookies.

-- (ladybuckeye_59@yahoo.com), February 29, 2000.

But chocolate is addictive too. I'll bring celery sticks and herb dip.

-- cold turkey (won't@be.fun), February 29, 2000.

I have to go now and call my sponsor. I feel like I`m on the verge of relapsing!

-- NoJo (RSKeiper@aol.com), February 29, 2000.

NOJO

You are supposed to call your sponsor BEFORE you relapse. You're posting so you are already in the grips. Get to a meeting as soon as possible!

Relapse begins before you start lurking/posting. Back to Step one!

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), February 29, 2000.

Hi, I'm the King of Free Estimates(dude has grandiose delusions) In the spring of 98 I "found myself involved" in a new yet another obsessive disorder; thanks for being here and lettin me share, and I'll keep comin back.....

-- KoFE (your@town.USA), February 29, 2000.

I tried to call my sponsor, but the line has been busy for hours!!!!

Guess I better e-mail him.

-- Lilly (homesteader145@yahoo.com), February 29, 2000.

Just to be sure, Lilly -

Print this, then FedEx him as an email attachment.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), February 29, 2000.

Hmmn... that didn't sound right somehow.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), February 29, 2000.

Is it better to taper off or go cold turkey? And is there a Doomoderm patch?

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), February 29, 2000.

Does Zyban or Welbutrin have any effect? It has helped for nicotine addiction, could it help here?

-- JCC (wolverine_in_nc@hotmail.com), February 29, 2000.

Hello, King of Free Estimates, do you like to mudwrestle?

-- mommacarestx (nospam@thanks.com), February 29, 2000.

Isn't it grand to play a parody amidst the chaos?

BTW, There is some anecdotal evidence that Wellbutrin has been effective in treating our disorder, but it has yet to be approved by the FDA. Using it would be in violation of our third step.

Tapering off is preferred to cold turkey as I have heard that the withdrawel is worse than a combination of DT's and Heroin withdrawel.

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), February 29, 2000.

FutureShock:

RE: Step #3 - I AM a simple servant @ Club Fed. Unfortunately I do work, and I have a complex about all those people who HATE civil servants. I was in the private sector, and I resented my tax dollars going to the simple servants. Now that I am one, I realize that for every 2 welfare cases, there is a hard working civil servant that has to pick up the slack. I know that most people won't believe this, but some of us do try to serve our country (I work in the Dept of Defense). I do have a .navy.mil email address at work, and I do try to give an honest days work for an honest days pay. Sometimes the honest days pay seems kind of small, but that is my choice, and I DO feel that I am helping in the defense of our country (although it is paltry compared to the sacrifice of the people in uniform.)

-- JCC (wolverine_in_nc@hotmail.com), February 29, 2000.

man it's so smokey in here I can't even see who's standing up there in front with the mic. ...sdb

-- S. David Bays (SDBAYS@prodigy.net), February 29, 2000.

Sorry, SDB, did not mean to offend or preach. Tried to present another perspective.

-- JCC (wolverine_in_nc@hotmail.com), February 29, 2000.

JCC-

Thanks for your hard work in civil service.

You must know that I am not a conspiracy theorist, so all these steps are tounge in cheek.

Gasp-I would probably be considered one of those tree-hugging liberals and the only one on this board that I have seen that will now admit-I am voting for Gore.

Flame away. hehehehehehe

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), February 29, 2000.

FutureShock: Kudos to your courage, if I was voting for Gore, I'm not sure if I would have the courage to admit it on THIS board. I don't agree, but the secret ballot is part of the concept of being able to vote without recrimination or reprisal in our country. I wish we could debate the issues of our respective choices for president, but I fear we can only argue sound bites and media image. :-(

Thanks for the kind response.

-- JCC (wolverine_in_nc@hotmail.com), February 29, 2000.

Mommacares, I miss the King of Spain too, aw shucks.

-- KoFE (your@town.USA), March 01, 2000.