Sobering Thought
The Advertiser
Adelaide
26.2.2000

London:
Guinness drinkers who have moustaches could be unknowingly wasting pints of their favorite tipple by trapping their velvety liquid in their facial hair.

Research commissioned by Guinness found an estimated 162,719 pints of the drink each year is caught in moustaches, costing drinkers an annual $1.1 million in wasted alcohol.

A guinness spokesman said: "A creamy-white Guinness froth moustache on the top lip is intrinsic to the enjoyment of a pint of the black stuff. Yet a genuine moustache has been proven to contribute to a significant Guinness wastage, as a result of interfibre retention at every sip."

Guinness estimates that there are 92,370 drinkers with facial hair in the UK, who consume on average 180 pints each a year.

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Comment:
Submitted in the interest of international imbibers who do not follow oil and presidential threads.

Regards from OZ

-- Pieter (zaadz@icisp.net.au), February 25, 2000

Answers

Pieter, LMAO. So much unintended waste in the world. But, I bet those moustaches are much shinier and don't have split ends. And, much easier to comb.

-- canthappen (n@ysayer.com), February 25, 2000.

Ahem. I should've pointed out that these are imperial pints and not the American apology of a quantity of smoothest Guinness.

Proost,

-- Pieter (zaadz@icisp.net.au), February 25, 2000.

canthappen,

It's an art my friend, this interfibre retention of finest liquor.

Double Proost & a slurring perpendicular pronoun hearty good cheer to you too...,some people actually got the job to survey 92,370 merry Guinness slurpers. Imagine!

-- Pieter (zaadz@icisp.net.au), February 25, 2000.

Roit!

Whats-ol-this-then!

-- Ivan (workin@ntherailroadallthelivelong.day), February 25, 2000.

Pieter: Are you sure that the American government didn't commission this study? This sounds like one of their creations.

-- Daisy Jane (deeekstrand@access1.com), February 26, 2000.