A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit.

Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees the man crying on the side of a road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks man what's wrong. "I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it." The blonde says, "Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit. The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?" The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label. It says.

(Are you ready for this?)

(Are you sure?)

(You know your gonna be sorry)

(Last chance)

(OK, here it is)

...........It says, "Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair, adds permanent wave

-- sam da man (samd@man.com), February 08, 2000

Answers

OK guys, lets have some laughs. We're getting too serious. Everybody post their favorite joke below!

-- sam da man (samd@man.com), February 08, 2000.

Thanks Sam, made my day, just printed it out to pass around.

Ray

-- Ray (ray@totacc.com), February 08, 2000.

LOLOLOL Sam...thanks!

-- Dee (T1Colt556@aol.com), February 08, 2000.

my wife age 80 decided that instead of getting a face lift , she would just go bra-less and let nature pull the wrinkles outta her face....

-- old asa hill (ole@hills.net), February 08, 2000.

A guy is over in Ireland on vacation from the states, doing his favorite relaxing thing, golfing. On the ninth hole, the duffer slices one of his balls into the woodline. Not too surprised the golfer chases after his lost ball. On entering the woods, however, the guy is dismayed to find an unconcious leprechaun, lying prostate next to his ball.
The man, obviously distraught, dropped to his knees to revive the little man. On waking, the leprechaun looked up, and on seeing the man, sighed resignedly and said, "So, on catchin' me, I suppose you'd like me pot o' gold?" The man, taken by surprise, said, "Oh no...I don't need your gold...I just want to make sure that you are ok!" The leprechaun, taken aback by this development, pressed the manto take the gold. The man, denying it all apologized and thanked the leprechaun, bid him a good day, and left the shocked little man behind.
The leprechaun was shocked. Never before did he meet a human of such generosity. In his determination to repay the kindness, the leprechaun wished for and granted three wishes on behalf of the kind golfer.
"May his golf game never be poor, may ever sroke be to the green!"
"May he always have money in his pockets!"
"And lastly, may he never want for female companionship again!"

A year later, the same golfer was on the ninth hole. As he hit the ball, it suddenly swerved in mid air, and went straight into the woodline. Baffled at the first apparent slice in almost a year, the duffer chased his ball down. On entering the woods, he found his ball, with the same leprechaun from last year sitting next to it.
On seeing the little man, the golfer asked how the leprechaun was doing. "Fine Fine!" responded the grateful little man. "How about yourself, my freind?"
"Well, its actually been the most amazing year of my life!" said the man.
"Do tell! Hows your golf game?" Asked the little man.
"Well, I'll tell ya, with the exception of the slice today, I can't miss a shot...its unearthly! The Masters want me to tour with them!" said the man.
Amused, the leprechaun then asked, "And money? Hows your money situation?"
"Well now, thats another amazing thing! Everytime I reach into my pants pocket, I find a hundred dollar bill! Its a miracle, I tell ya!", exclaimed the man.
Smiling then, the leprechaun asked, "And your love life? How is the ol' love life?"
Blushing, the man turned beet red and said "Thats another great thing...I always have women willing to share my bed, and for a Catholic Preist of a small town, that ain't half bad!"

-- Billy Boy (Rakkasan101st@Aol.com), February 08, 2000.

So what happened when they put this blond in the freezer with 25 others?

Frosted flakes, of course.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), February 08, 2000.

NEW DRUG IDENTIFICATION All drugs have a generic name.

Tylenol is Acetaminophen, Advil is Ibuprofen, etc.

For several months, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.

Yesterday the FDA announced that they have finally settled on:

Mycoxafailin.

-- Carl Jenkins (Somewherepress@aol.com), February 08, 2000.

old Sammy Allred joke: Guy goes into pet store,sees a bunch of caged birds,priced at $39.95 and one off to side for $129.95..G:why does that bird cost more? (E)mployee: Bird talks up a storm,very smart..G: I'll take him and the cage, I need a pet..someone to talk to.. Next day comes back..G:Bird won't talk..(E): Did he climb up his ladder? G: What ladder? How much is the ladder? (E):$12.95 This bird likes to climb his ladder..G: I'll take it and goes home..Next day ,back again G: Well he climbed the ladder but he still did'nt talk..(E): Did he ring his little bell? G: little bell,what little bell..how much for the little bell? (E): $16.95..This bird will talk and sing if he has a bell..G: Fine I'll take the bell and he goes home..Next day he's back.. G: bird still won't talk..(E): You mean the bird climbed up the ladder,rang the bell,jumped on his swing and still did'nt talk and sing? G: Swing what swing (E): Bird will defintely sing and talk up a storm once he climbs the ladder,rings his bell and jumps upon his swing..G: Fine I"ll take the swing..how much does this cost? (E): Only $19.95..guaranteed to sing and talk when he has a swing..G: Great ,let me have a swing, this bird is looking very unhappy....Back again..G: Bird stll doesn't sind or talk..goes up ladder,rings bell, jumps on swing..nothing...(E): What does he do when he looks in the mirror..that usually makes him very happy..G: How much is the mirror? He must need one..(E): Only $21.95,really enjoys his mirror..G: Fine.let him have a mirror and home G goes..(E):Next day G is back and says: Bird is DEAD,..(E):What did he do before he died?..G: he ran up his little ladder, rang his little bell,jumped upon his swing, looked in his little mirror, turned to me and said right before he toppled off his little perch said:"DON'T THEY SELL BIRDSEEEEED"?

-- george (jones@choices.com), February 08, 2000.

Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond.

The frog said to the princess, "I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom, and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so."

That night, while the princess dined on frogs legs, she laughed to herself and said to herself, "I don't fucking think so!"

-- cin (cinlooo@aol.com), February 09, 2000.