Is there anything throwing a shadow across YOUR life? : LUSENET : Novenotes : One Thread

Is there anything holding you back? Is something throwing a shadow across your life?--Al

-- Al Schroeder (, February 03, 2000


I face up to my shadows as best I can; but since they're not going away, I've learned to live with them.--Al

-- Al Schroeder (, February 06, 2000.

I guess the thing which throws the biggest shadow is my boyfriend's ex. I'm not the jealous type, i generally have no problems with the fact that i'm not someone's first girlfriend (and considering we aren't both 16, it would disturb me quite a bit if i was!), and i don't mind contact with an ex. However, this girl has been unable to let go. They broke up almost a year ago and she still calls and leaves messages and tries to get him to come back to her. For awhile she would randomly show up at the door on weekends or occasional evenings, and tells everyone around her (i know this from my friend who happens to be her sister) that she is sure he's going to come back.

I know i shouldn't let it bother me, because no matter how much it aggravates me or him, it's definitely her problem more than ours. She's the one who is allowing this situation to stifle her and to stall her life, and she's the one losing out because she could be seeing other people if she would let this go. But sometimes, no matter how hard i try not to let it get to me, it will still occasionally throw a tiny dark shadow on my life.

Fortunately, my boyfriend has learned to let me talk to him about it when it really starts to bother me, instead of trying to ignore it and hope it will go away. I also called her machine one evening after she called and slammed the phone down in my ear when she heard my voice instead of his. She has been quiet since i called her and left a message saying that when you are 36 years old you should have the balls to speak instead of acting like an adolescent prankster and hanging up.

Both standing up for myself and using communication have helped the sun cut through the shadows.

How do you stand up to your shadows Al?


PS sorry for the mini-entry here... Sometimes i'm pretty verbose. :)

-- sherry (, February 04, 2000.

A small ps...

Superstitious as i am, i must add a "knock on wood" to the fact that she's been quiet since i stood up to her on Tuesday.

Knock knock.


-- sherry (, February 04, 2000.

My wife's got a lump in her breast and she's going to have a mamagram and MRI on Monday beginning at 10:45AM EST. I would appreciate it if you would keep us in your thoughts and prayers during this time.

-- Chris Hawkins (, February 05, 2000.

yes there is, father time looked at me as he passed and did a schwartzenegger, "i'll be baaack." at a younger age i thought i could win the race, but instead of staying a child you could say i am going through my second one - - - and this guy ain't a cat.

yes, prayers for chris hawkins and wife and prayers for all those whose life is shadowed by something.

-- doug (, February 05, 2000.

as a kid, I had probably an unhealthy amount of self-esteem. I knew I was smart, good-looking, cool, and funny.

as an adult, I have more than compensated for that inflated sense of self. I just do not have the self confidence anymore. I am a little gun shy from a couple of career-related failures. I am not as convinced anymore of my level of intelligence.....don't kid myself about my looks anymore (look up average in the dictionary, that's me waving at you!).....

i am not cool. heh.

I didn't realize what a treat it was to really like yourself....even if it was a bit over the top.

-- Bob Beltran (, February 07, 2000.

Hurray!!! My wife and I went to the doctor today and everything is fine. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

-- Chris Hawkins (, February 07, 2000.

peace@clover fantastic ! ! doctors do occasionally bring good news. and i don't under rate the power of prayer either. glad it was good news.

for my own particular shadow - age can't be reversed, but attitude and enjoyment can certainly be increased a thousandfold. acceptance of the absolute plays a great part in my life - - - no needless risks any more, no foolish actions. in a way it seems as if given another 50 years, i might become and adult.


-- doug (, February 07, 2000.

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