The Party's Over & other tales from Y2K - UK "Computing" 27 Jan

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http://www2.vnu.co.uk/v5_static/v5_columns/mole/v5_col_mole_21.htm

Y2K problems of a rather different kind have struck a well-known merchant bank. In gratitude to staff who had laboured to get its systems ready for the momentous event, the bank put them up at a hotel, invited them to bring their partners, and told them to leave their credit cards at home. No financial reward could possibly compensate staff for working through the holiday period, said the magnanimous management. Just sign your bills and we'll pay them.
As Mole predicted, the relief felt by organisations spared Y2K-related computer problems has quickly turned to resentment. This may be why in mid January, photocopies of hotel accounts were sent to all staff judged to have had 'excessive' bills, accompanied by a demand for cheques to cover the excess. Flatly contradicting its earlier position, management Scrooges also said the 'rules' did not extend to paying bills for family members.
Of course, it would be unfair to single out any particular bank as an example of flint-hearted meanness, so to spare the managers in this case any embarrassment, we'll simply refer to the bank in question by the fictional name of JP Morgan.

-- Jim McAteer (jim_mcateer@hotmail.com), January 31, 2000

Answers

There are four kinds of people in the world (this is just yet another way to find "boxes" to put people in.)

1. Builders: Take charge types ("We got to do it now and I'm in charge.")

2. Merchants: Wheeler-dealers of goods, services, or people ("We can do it, it's easy, here I'll show you how.")

3. Bankers: Conservers of resources. ("There is a way to do it. We can hire the expertise for how much?")

4. Innovators: Bright idea people. "This can be done. What if I tried it this way?"

Each group has it's failings. Bankers in particular are noted for a rather "hard hearted" outlook and a "weakness" for the bottom line.

Likely the leader of the "information services" people who were feted was asked how much it will all cost and he gave his optimistic estimate. (As an "innovator" he tended to underestimate the cost and overestimate the gratitude received.) When the actual bottom line was tallied, his "manager" (a banker likely) was outraged.

I expect you may find at least one job opening in that organization.

Best regards,

-- Joe (KEITH@neesnet.com), January 31, 2000.


Jim,I recently heard of an almost identical scenario related to another fictitious bank named Bank of America formerly /fictitiously Nations Bank. -

-- NoJo (RSKeiper@aol.com), January 31, 2000.

An the HR people scratch their collective @$$ and wonder why they keep losing their best technical people. It just doesn't make sense to the big brains upstairs.

-- Squid (ItsDark@down.here), January 31, 2000.

Reminds me of the merchant back that was just about to complete on a merger deal. A general memo was sent around, requesting that any member of staff who felt that they could sacrfice/delay payment of their annual bonus would be praised. As many staff had earned BIG bonuses that year, many said OK, and were promptly canned for not having the correct attitiude ...

Or in humor form ....

A man went to the bank requesting an extension to his overdraft. The banker looked at his records and said no way, but as I am a sporting man, I will give you the extension if you tell me which eye is the glass one. The customer guessed left, and the banker was amazed as no-one had got the question right in all the years he had posed it. When asked why the customer picked that particular eye, he replied it was the one with the most compassion ....

-- merville (merville@globalnet.co.uk), January 31, 2000.


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