Last evening I received a phone call that has rocked my foundation. My best friend of over 50 years was killed in an auto accident that has left two of his grandchildren in critical condition. I have been unable to sleep and the thoughts and memories are streaming like a non-stop movie. In times like these, I suspect that one will examine their own mortality and possibly react accordingly. It is in this spirit that I will leave you with some parting thoughts.

I have been a regular to this forum since the latter part of 1998. I went from a certified doomer lurker to an active polly poster. For the past few months, under a variety of handles, I have spent the time to deride what seemed to be worthy of ridicule. Now as I move on from this forum a certain remorse lingers for any hurt that my comments may have caused. To people that I will never really know I offer you this story..

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence...

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The day passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there."

A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are a very rare jewel indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us."

Please forgive me if I have ever left a hole in your fence............

-- Look (at@the.facts), January 23, 2000

Answers

I, for one, forgive you, and wish you, and your best friend, well.

-- Steve (hartsman@ticon.net), January 23, 2000.

Your parting story went a long way towards mending fences. I honor you refocusing your attention to more important matters. Good luck on your path of learning.

-- Chuck (cestin@aa.net), January 23, 2000.

Ditto

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), January 23, 2000.

Look.....

thank you for the beautiful story about the little boy and the nails....... that lesson seems very needed on this forum at times

i am so sorry to hear about your friend......i will be thinking about you and the pain you are going thru

and i will be praying for you and his family

-- mebs (andrea@mebs.lurking), January 23, 2000.

Look,

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.

But you've just blessed us with a beautiful analogy. And through this post you've shown intelligence, courage and compassion, and you sound like someone who could have contributed much of value to the forum.

I wish you well.

-- eve (123@4567.com), January 23, 2000.

Thank you for your post. I am sorry to hear about your friend and the accident.

Best wishes to you.

-- ~Dee (T1Colt556@aol.com), January 23, 2000.

Look,

So sorry about your friend. It sorta leaves you numb for a while. (Been there)

I was sent that story at work a while back and love it--it is so true.

Most of the time, I have found that it is not so much what is said as how something is said. I tend to be a doomer, but I need polly facts and opinions to keep a balance in my world. I want to hear everyone, be he optimistic or pessimistic, bright or not so bright, young or old, ect. Only by hearing all sides can one see the big picture.

If I listened and agreed only with pollys, I may not see problems that will negatively impact my life. If I only listen to doomers I would probably develop serious psycological problems.

In other words----HANG AROUND!

-- jeile (tjfarrar@bellsouth.net), January 23, 2000.

Please turn your pain, regrets, guilt and emotional anguish over to your higher power. Your friend would be heartbroken to see you saddled with the burden of it, as would YOU, if your roles were reversed.

Grief and personal tragedy have a way of slapping a person into the reality of 'all that really matters'. It is the reason I shall never be caught unprepared. It was the reason I shouted, "Y2K" from the rooftops. It creates the most valuable lesson we will ever learn in our short lived lives on earth. I *respect* those who know it, pity those who don't, but would never wish it upon any clueless individual, and occasionally envy them for their giddy bliss found in the ignorance of it.

It can make you or break you. Obviously, you know this. Thank you for your courage, character, heart and honesty. No apology needed. You've come to the realization that most "pollys" still have not concluded. Now if only I could be a bit more tolerant of the 'clueless' individuals who find such pleasure in taunting those they do not understand, who have acted in good faith in order to protect that which ONLY matters.

Perhaps in my next life........

-- Will continue (farming@home.com), January 23, 2000.

Again we find we are a family. "YOU can't pick on MY brother."

Look- my prayers for you and the family of your friend, also

CHuck, A Night Driver

PROUD of his Cyber Family

-- Chuck, a night driver (rienzoo@en.com), January 23, 2000.

At least you friend's death was not in vane as it seems to have humbled your antagonizing 'y2k was a hoax' message.

But thanks for the story. Good luck.

-- thoughtful pessimist (@ .), January 23, 2000.

Thank you Look,

Thanks for help with bitterness. God may be help you with that right now. He knows a lot about nails doesn't He ? and forgiveness too.

I'm going to save this Look. I have someone to call who has been a friend to me. Someone I put some holes in...

-- maid upname (noid@ihope.com), January 23, 2000.

Look,

My condolences. Words never say enough it times like these.

"thoughtful pessimist",

You really know how to say the right thing at the right time...I hear Hallmark is hiring!

-- Dr. No (no@no.no), January 23, 2000.

TERRIBLY sorry for your loss.

-- Mara (MaraWayne@aol.com), January 23, 2000.

Very sorry about your dear friend. Many off us have experienced the shock of losing those we love, suddenly. We can identify with your pain and feel compassion for you. Take it all, one-day-at-a-time.

Small consolation, but you can still communicate with your friend. Try to clear your grief, and speak to him from your heart. Hell hear you. Sometimes, if you connect well, they can communicate back. For what its worth, hes moved to another level of existence, and is not really gone... its just Bon Voyage for now.

Thank you for your message.

And youre quite right, you were behaving in pretty nasty manner, poking holes and driving in many nails here. The above story say it all very gracefully.

Congratulations... you have now advanced into the next level of the human race... becoming one of those who care about others around them, and who will take responsibility for their past/present/future actions. However "IF" they see a perceived need for action... they will NOT stand quietly while the others around them might be harmed.

Rightly... or wrongly.

For many of us who were, and still are, concerned about potential global Y2K repercussions... the story was ALWAYS about preparing people first... then the systems. Its called creating resilient communities. Care about people FIRST and youll interact differently on the net, and elsewhere. You never know who that next stranger will be.

Peace to you. And be gentle with yourself.

Take time out to decide whats important now... then change your life accordingly.

Many blessings.

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), January 23, 2000.

I, for one, forgive you, and wish you, and your best friend, well.

-- Steve (hartsman@ticon.net), January 23, 2000.

Uhh...Steve..Don't you think it might be kind of late to wish his best friend well?

-- hate2 (nit@pick.com), January 23, 2000.