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Post2K Block Party Goulash

12 - 15 oz. cans Del Monte Sweet Peas
12 - 15 oz. cans Del Monte Whole Kernel Golden Sweet Corn
14 - 15 oz. cans Le Sueur Very Early Peas
12 - 15 oz. cans Green Giant Cut Green Beans
18 - 6 oz. cans Starkist Chunk Light Tuna
6 - 24 oz. cans Sweet Sue Chicken and Dumplings
8 - 19 oz. cans Campbells Select Chicken with Egg Noodles Soup
6 - 15 oz. cans Campbells Cream of Mushroom Soup
12 - 15 oz. cans Stokely's Tiny Party Peas
2 - 28 oz. boxes Orida Instant Mashed Potatoes
5 - 48 oz. jars Musselman's Apple Sauce
2 - 42 oz. boxes Quaker Old Fashioned Oats
12 - 30 oz. cans Bush's Chili Beans
7 - 10 oz. cans Ro-Tel Diced Tomatoes and Green Chilies
18 - 15 oz. cans Del Monte Fresh Cut Whole New Potatoes
9 - 24 oz. cans Castleberry's Premium Beef Stew
6 - 39 oz. cans Hanover Cut Green Beans and Whole Potatoes
3 - 12 oz. btls Kikkoman TeriYaki Baste and Glaze Sauce
8 - 12 oz. cans Hormel Corned Beef
6 - 40 oz. cans Bruce's Yams
11 - 28 oz. cans Hunts Tomato Sauce
12 - 24 oz. cans Castleberry's Brunswick Stew
14 - 8 oz. boxes Kraft's Chicken Flavored Stovetop Stuffing
40 - 15 oz. cans Green Giant Cream Style Sweet Corn
12 - 19 oz. cans Dinty Moore Beef Stew
4 - 24 oz. cans Beverly Precooked Sausage
3 - 48 oz. jars Smuckers Apple Jelly
68 - 15 oz. cans Van Camp's Bold and Spicy Pork and Beans
5 - 16 oz. jars Mt. Olive Sweet Relish
6 - 16 oz. cans DAK Danish Hams
26 - 28 oz. jars Prego Mushroom and Garlic Pasta Sauce
200 lbs steamed Mahatma Prium White Long Grain Rice
200 lbs cooked Dried Beans (all varieties acceptable)

Add and vary ingredients to suit your neighbors' tastes....

Mix all ingredients in several clawfoot style porcelain-
lined cast iron bathtubs (see local salvage yards for avail-
ability). Several 55 gallon drums may be used if they are
steam scoured clean for 20 minutes.

Bathtub (or drums) should be mounted on cinder blocks to a
clear bottom height of 24 to 26 inches.

Pile firewood evenly under and around bathtub. Best results
are obtained using hardwoods; softwoods tend to soot up the
batch during cooking. Light woodpile in several places to
ensure even distribution of flames. Ensure cooking site is
well away from stockpiled fuels. Firewatch is advisable.

Stir contents occasionally with a sanitized boat oar or 2 X 4.

When goulash is steaming, extinguish fire. Let neighborhood
form a line (children first, you know) and dish it out lavishly!
Extending invitation to neighbors' pet canines is also recommended.

Repeat this random act of kindness regularly, until you can
successfully navigate through the back half of your house again.


-- Jay Urban (Jayho99@aol.com), January 14, 2000

Answers

ROTFL! Oh, goddess, you sure did get that one right.

-- Sheri (wncy2k@nccn.net), January 14, 2000.

LOLOLOLOLOL to the max. =)

-- Dee (T1Colt556@aol.com), January 14, 2000.

Bleck!

-- Hokie (Hokie_@hotmail.com), January 14, 2000.

And you may sanitize the cooking containers and implements via buckets of a 5% bleach solution from your stash. Brilliant, Jay.

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), January 14, 2000.

Yummy! I sure wish I lived on your block!

-- Think It (Through@Pollies.Duh), January 14, 2000.


YUCK!! For MERCY! You forgot the SPAM!! What a horrible receipe, without SPAM!!

-- Hunk Ah (Hunk@burningmeat.com), January 14, 2000.

Will one tanker truck of Cabernet Sauvignon be enough?

-- I'm Here, I'm There (I'm Everywhere@so.beware), January 14, 2000.

Don't forget the Velveeta and spinach. LOL

-- Sally Strackbein (sally@y2kkitchen.com), January 14, 2000.

Jay, don't waste your wit on any polly twit.

-- dinosaur (dinosaur@williams-net.com), January 14, 2000.

ummmm, not bad, but wait. I think maybe just a pinch more salt.

-- Richard (Astral-Acres@webtv.net), January 14, 2000.


You forgot the Ramen Noodle Soup....I like the Oriental style myself :)

-- justme (justme@myhouse.com), January 14, 2000.

Jay, you forgot the heart helping of Crow. Served to a delightful crunch. Enjoy!!!!!

-- Badco (west@thelight.com), January 14, 2000.

Whoops, forgot the Crisco sticks. Artifical butter sticks that don't need refrigeration, but not for spreading!

-- ds (ds@deepsouth.com), January 14, 2000.

Tiny party peas! Yeah, baby!

-- Lars (lars@indy.net), January 14, 2000.

I will top my serving with sliced pickled eggs and eat with saltines. Thanks Jay, Kyle

-- Kyle (fordtbonly@aol.com), January 14, 2000.


And of course the, uh, enzyme buckets out back with the TP ;^)

Thanks Jay LOL

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), January 15, 2000.


Clear winner of the best post yet.

-- ImSo (happy@prepped.com), January 15, 2000.

ohhhhhhhhhhh yummmmmmmy... (this is sooooofunny!) Now.... does anyone have suggestions for what I might do with these 15 pints of vanilla extract that I found I had squirrelled away? LOL!!!!!!!!!!!

-- Suzanne (SuzanneL@webtv.net), January 15, 2000.

Suzanne: Vanilla extract is 35 percent alcohol (70 proof). Enjoy !

-- Candide (writeme@voltaire.com), January 15, 2000.

Good thing the electric can openers still work.

-- Firemouse (firemouse@fcmail.com), January 15, 2000.

That's a good one Jay!

Myself? I'd call it a Post Y2K BLOCK-BUSTER Party..!

-- (Kurt.Borzel@gems8.gov.bc.ca), January 15, 2000.


At last, now I have use for the 6 extra large bottles of assorted fruit flavored Tums that I have stashed away in my medical kit.

-- Susan Heller (suheller@koyote.com), January 16, 2000.

I'm selling Barf Bags ...... 3 for a nickel . 1st come 1st served.

-- Big Al (AceSki@coolemail.com), January 25, 2000.

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