ParINg iS SUCh sWEEt sORRow Is it Not???? oF COUrSE IT is NOT!!!!! dILLwICk hYEnA!!!! hOW iN THe nAMe of tHE bLeeDINg eYeS Of diETeR CaN ParTIng bE SWeeT????? IDIot!!!!! hUh???? wELL??? gOOD mORniNG!!!!

sWeeT IS chOCoLatE!!!! iS Not SweET RasBeRrY JaM On toAST???? hoNeY NuT ROaSTEd chEERiOS????? wELL??? aMObEA GoT YoUR TOngUE??? JaCKaSS!!!! sPEAk nOW!!!!! sPEaK I sAY!!!! BunGHoLe!!!!!

pARtING Is soRRow Of tHE MOMenT IMmedIaTE, aS In aLL THiNGS!!!! pARtING Is The One thINg tHAT cAN, By IT's vERy neCEssITy, bRInG oUT THe HuMAniTy iN THe dIETeR!!!!! cAN YoU SEe it???? loOK chILD, lOoK AT it In All OF it's GLorY!!!!! cAN yOU nOT See It yET????? fooLIsH ONeS, iT Is thERe!!!!! nATUrLicH!!!!

wAS iT NoT Of THE MOOns MANy aGo tHAT DieTeR FIrST SPokE Of youR FooLIshneSs???? dID NoT dIEtER, iN His WIsdOM DiETeRiSE yOU InfIDElS?????? dId NOT DIeTeR SHow YoU THe pOD Of thINE fUTurE???? wEll???? oF cOUrSE he DiD!!!!

wHY???? oH gReAT GoD In heAVEn, wHY MUsT IT bE THus????

hOW CouLD It BE nOT????? tO aLL gOoD ThINgS mUSt nOT aN End COme???? iN YoUR SHaLLow HUmaN WorLD, DoeS NoT TIme pASS????? wELL??? oF COurSE FooLisH OnES!!! oF CouRSE!!!!!

bE WeLL hYENaS!!!! jaCKasSED bUNghOLeS!!! cARRy oN FOolISh buZZaRDs!!!! fOR tHE diEteRNeSS Is nOW WitHIN yoU, aS dO The emPtY PoDS ATTesT!!!! GooD MorNINg!!!!!

pS, i MerELy DIsLikE YoU!!!!!

-- Dieter (questions@toask.com), January 04, 2000

Answers

Oh Lord..... I've been here way to long when I can read a long Deiter post quickly, and without getting a headache. Maybe I am an infidel....

-- just another regular (none@none.none), January 04, 2000.

I'll miss you bud, it was fun though, wAS It NoT????

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), January 04, 2000.

...oh, diETeR. if it is really you, farewell!! What style! What class!

-- churchorganist (swedishmusic@webtv.net), January 04, 2000.

Unk... it was fun :-)

Dieter... come back when you can stay longer!

Mike

====================================================================

-- Mike Taylor (mtdesign3@aol.com), January 04, 2000.

On behalf of all FRLians, Thank You for the post Dieter. Glad you are well.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@Dieter.answered), January 04, 2000.

Dieter...I don't know how you do it, but it kinda warms the cockles of my heart to get verbally abused by you.

As one of the "Lost Boys" said in the movie "Hook",: "THAT was a Grreaat game!"

-- TM (mercier7@pdnt.com), January 04, 2000.

Deiter,

You are the greatest. This place wouldn't have been the same without you. Thanks for checking in before checking out.

-- semper paratus (hmm@now.what), January 04, 2000.

DiETer,

EvEN THouGh I PRomIsED NOt to POST hERE AGAin, I hAVE to GiVE ThE PrOper RESpecTS...

NiCe WERKING with you DoCTOr Venkman. I'lL sEe U oN THe otHeR siDE...

-- (Doomers@suck.com), January 04, 2000.

dIEteR, you can't end it like this!! Ofcourse parting is not sweet, but pure sorrow! Why must you leave now? Right now when we need you the most??!! You've been a very helpful voice of reason on this forum, pointing out foolishness, helping us see it and keep a balanced mind. You've put everyone back in their proper places; as foolish human beings acting like hyenas, jackassed bungholes, buzzards, infidels. Those who thought too much of themselves you've brought back down to earth. Those who thought too little of themselves, you graced with your dIETErneSs and made them feel they were worth something! And all the while we learned from you, we laughed. Isn't laughing the best medecine? The most fun way to learn? Our only hope as foolish human beings?

Please don't go! It's only Jan. 4th, you're over-reacting like everyone else at the initial euphoria! Can this be your first foolishness?

-- Chris (catsy@xxx.com), January 04, 2000.

(This IS the one and only DiETeR.)

I'm glad to see you only dislike us now, DiETeR! That is a step in the right direction. Will you still be eating that yummy Y2K food you bought before your wife's untimely death? Just wondering... :-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), January 04, 2000.

Good Morning,

Dieter, you are leaving? Then it is truly TeOtWaKi!

May your brain not hurt,

-- Deborah (infowars@yahoo.com), January 04, 2000.

I DON'T think that was the real Dieter. Just a gut feeling and something about the arrangement of letters doesn't ring true. But who knows?

-- Taz (Tassi123@aol.com), January 04, 2000.

Don't you have to come back and check to make sure the Dieterness took properly?

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), January 04, 2000.

It's the real DiETeR, Taz. I spoke to him.

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), January 04, 2000.

Look put your childish Font away and put your Pee-Pee back in your pants and go to your room. Good riddance.

-- lenny (Chmielecki@worldnet.att.net), January 04, 2000.

NaTUrAl BoRN chaRMleYneSs for sure. Dieter, don't talk about chocolate in front of Pammy! hee hee

-- Pamela S (pamela_sue57@hotmail.com), January 04, 2000.

Da*n the luck!

First no TEOTWAWKI and now no more Dieter.

He was the only other sane person here in "Wunderland".

This side of the mirror just won't be the same now.

Fare well and live long, with lots of little Dieters too. You already have been missed,and you haven't yet gone.

S.O.B.

-- sweetolebob (buffgun@hotmail.com), January 04, 2000.

Oh my God!!! and I doubted it was the reAl WoRd...! The rest of the world will go on but I will suffer TEOTWAWKI for my indescretions. DiEtER....you know that I love and admire you. Won't you forgive my having doubted your written word? Ohhhhhhhhhhh.... pestilence and scourge upon my soul forever.................! Taz

-- Taz (Tassi123@aol.com), January 04, 2000.

diETeR:

LeaVInG sO SOOn, huHHHH?????

yET????????? .... sTiLL sNeAKinG BacK To lUrK?????????????????

AhAH!!!!!

caUGHt yOU!!!!!!!!

kLEinE fLIeGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bYE NoW,,,,

mR. eXTinCT

-- dinosaur (dinosaur@williams-net.com), January 04, 2000.

gIVe iT A rIdE oN yOuR BIg cHocOLaTE tENNiS shOE AnD StARe aT tHe fALliNg moOn pOckET. SNIff A wIfF oF nO fOX glOVe aND JUggLe a GaGGle Of loSt dReAms. lEavE iF yOu waNT fOr tHe pANcaKe iS mINe. sTraTus wHIPcReaM On a GrEEn hORsEfLy. gOOd RiDDanCE bE gOnE.

-- snooze button (alarmclock_2000@yahoo.com), January 04, 2000.

Farewell, DIeTer. Visit when you can. Make sure your alter ego stays behind!

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), January 04, 2000.

Adieu, Dieter ol pal.

May there NEVER be beavers in your life.

May you shins rest easy.

And may you get that dam shift key fixed.

Your an original.

-Greybear, tearing up.

-- Got Klenex.

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), January 04, 2000.

Freind DIeTeR,

Farewell and PePPeROnI! We'll miss you.

WW

-- Wildweasel (vtmldm@epix.net), January 04, 2000.

Dear Dieter,

Maybe just one more post? You forgot to call someone a scrotum...how about doomers@suck.com?

-- (RUOK@yesiam.com), January 04, 2000.

Words of wisdom indeed, DiETeR, my friend...

Is it possible... that you could be the "second coming" of the Son of God, that the holy-rollers have been waiting for?

Yes, that's it! He has been spreading the message since last year, but must leave now before the great tribulation begins!

DiEteR, take us with you please, we tried to spread the word but the fools would not hear us! We are worthy!... We are worthy!...

-- Hawk (flyin@high.again), January 04, 2000.

Godspeed, dIETeR, and thanks for your posts, they were one influence to stop me from lurking for so long.And in parting, may I thank you for one last gift to me: You have just shown me a who's who of the good old board,and now they are mostly lurking! Interesting,hmmmmm.

on de rock

-- Walter (on de rock@northrock.bm), January 04, 2000.

scene:

A tattered and time-worn circus big-top hidden among the bald cypress and live oaks along a forgotten bayou backroad. The torn canvas top flutters in the half hearted but mean spirited wind of early winter. Vines of kudzu creep silently up ropes now slack and mossy-green in their retirement. The wild dewberry sends sinister threads to explore along the canvas walls, like a reprobate fingering the dingy skirt edges of a faded madam.

Inside, an old gent, wearing a faded red rubber nose and wisps of orange hair, attends a smokey fire of leaves and damp twigs. In the wind-stressed murmurings of the tent poles, his fevered brain hears whispered the chortles and guffaws of ghostly audience. The moans of shreaded canvas become the haunted trills of a long forsaken caliope.

Standing to one side, in an impromptu spotlight of fading sunshine, a small wagon carries a now empty circus cage; it's doors hanging precariously on broken hinges, it's gilded ornaments glowing with a warmth left from years of polishing. A faded sign barks with now impotent urgency, "See The One - The Only - The Amazing Dieter! Is It Man Or Is It Animal?". Inside the cage, a small and matted cape of green, gold and purple, once a treasured item of the old clown's wardrobe, now the deserted bed of the cage's previous occupant. Encrusted within the folds of the makeshift bedding, crumbs of fruitcake still proffer their absurd holliday aroma. A nearby fruit jar bears the hand written lable, "The Famous and Original, Ignoratium Chalmet's, Bayou Jiggle Juice", but contains only dust and a faded leaf from a Chinese tallow.

The old clown pulls the ragged fringes of his garish clothing closer in the sudden chill of twilight, rocks slowly on size 47, lime-green shoes, and mutters to himself:

'Who needs the dadgum circus anyway? Just a lot of noise, and kids with sticky hands, that's all. Sure, we made 'em laugh, but what's that, anyway? Just hot air and baby kisses. Nothin' to hang your hat on, a'tall. Nothin' to spend your life at, no sir! I got better things to do, and better places to do 'em in."

He glances at the empty cage, and a sudden dryness comes unbidden to his throat. "And now, even that dadburn geek has finally gone".

He reaches into the fire, and turns the roasting Span-on-a-stick.

In the distance, beneath the barren canopy of white oak and water elm, a furtive figure slips silently into the gathering shadows. It pauses to look fleetingly back at the great tent, now discolored by the dusk, hesitates momentarily, then continues on; it's quest for fruitcake and jiggle juice stronger even than the tenacious bonds of an old and faded clown.

"Nothin' to spend your life at, no sir............."

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), January 04, 2000.

DiETER,

Is THiS reAllY yOU? i tHiNK yOU arE thE ONe whO waS aBLe to sAVe uS alL! I HAve bEen SucH a JackAL aLl aLOng! yOU arE the oNE whO SavEd uS frOm cERtAin DeStrUcTioN aNd tHe gOvErnMENt HYenAs wHo PerPEtRaTed aLl tHis!

gO iN PeACe aNd hEal yOUr bLEedIng bRain!

SeEk nO MoRe to cOMforT thE InfiDeLS!

To UNC. D...I'm still cautious about the outcome of all this, but I do recall a certain invite from you...i.e. a party? Directions? (My e-mail is real! :-)

I Got BEER!

To ALL: Wishing you all a BITR!

Dave

-- Dave (christamike@hotmail.com), January 04, 2000.

Dieter!

You have already professed your profound love for my alleged "life's work!"

PLEEZE, 0H, PLEEZE, come visit me, and send others of your "ilk."

I have been bereft as a result of your absence on this forum for all of these many weeks, especially when I was threatened with "bean bombs" by those who did not understand your poetry contained within my book!

A reminder: You PROMISED you would be my guide!

I may have to fall on my sword if I am not at least graced ONCE with your presence.

(Although, to be honest, I don't own a sword. I do, however, own a tripod that I had to reconfigure in order for me to be able to cook for my family in my fireplace in the worst case scenario. 'Had to remove the internal rubber bands etc. As a result, I think it might be capable of injuring someone. Thank God it wasn't me. Perhaps, however, there are other victims waiting in the wings. One never kNoWs?)

Regardless, My Dearest Dieter:

Can you come out to play?

If so,

I am available here:

Discussion forum for The Toilet Paper Chronicles: Gallows Humor from the Y2k Underground

:)

-- FM/MM (scipublic@aol.com), January 04, 2000.

Lon-- that was beautiful! What was it about Dieter that touched us all and made me search out his posts especially for the last year? I will miss you Dieter, you touched my heart many times. thanks--dory

-- dory (crtwheel@eburg.com), January 04, 2000.

Dory,

"dIeteR" allowed us the ability to laugh when many on this forum were on the verge of crying.

We read the United States Senate Report in April of 1999. We read the GAO reports. Joel Willemsen (sp) of the United States General Accounting Office (the watchdog for government laid it out, as did many others.

As a result their efforts, the folks in control of the outcome--as it was related to us "regular folk" -- got off of their collective (pardon my "French") "asses," and realized this thing was serious.

In short, they developed "contigency plans."

Those of us who followed this "wild ride" knew that those plans were always labeled "Y2k Ready."

dIeter always knew that.

We were worried, and he provided our comic relief.

I, for one, adore his contributions in our darkest hours, i.e., early 1999, when no one had a "clue."

Then again, he might well be

eViL! eViL! eViL! eViL! eViL!eViL! eViL! eViL! eViL! eViL! eViL! eViL! eViL! eViL! eViL! eViL! eViL! eViL! eViL! eViL! eViL! eViL! eViL!

Har!

:)

-- FM/MM (scipublic@aol.com), January 04, 2000.

Dieter is one hoopy frood.

-- zoobie (zoobiezoob@yahoo.com), January 04, 2000.

dory,

I hope you followed the "Yourdon's Magnificient Circus" threads of last year. many theorized that DieTeR was the "lone and Furtive figure", the enigmatic and brilliant observer of life in the big top.

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), January 04, 2000.

Dieter,

Nuovo Anno Felice. Buoa fortuna. Ritornato presto. Penseremo voi.

Casey DeFranco

-- Casey DeFranco (caseyd@silcom.com), January 04, 2000.

You always make me smile. Thanks Dieter. :)

-- Mike Lang (webflier@erols.com), January 04, 2000.

Lon-- i must have missed "Yourdon's Magnificent Circus"! I didn't discover this special place until end of jan or 1st of feb. Does anyone know how i would go about finding that posting? yes, i did make the connection with "the lone and furtive figure" as being Dieter. Who else?! thanks-- dory

-- dory (crtwheel@eburg.com), January 04, 2000.

It's been real.

Hasn't it?

\ber allen Wipfeln ist Ruh...

-- Tom Carey (tomcarey@mindspring.com), January 04, 2000.

Dieter: Mrs Rimmer says to tell you that there's nothing that a bowl of her famous bath soup wouldn't cure. If you ever get to Iowa, they'll be a bowl with your name on it.

-- Arnie Rimmer (Arnie_Rimmer@usa.net), January 04, 2000.

Dieter- Big kiss on your forehead . Keep well and stay happy :)

-- Gia (laureltree7@hotmail.com), January 04, 2000.

Bye Bye ((((Dieter))). thank you!

-- marsh (armstrng@sisqtel.net), January 05, 2000.

Thanks Dieter. Happy landings.

-- && (&&@&&.&), January 05, 2000.

dory,

Here's a Circus thread with classic DieTeR. I think there were about four threads altogether:

http://hv.greenspun.com/bbo ard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?ms g_id=000YCD

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), January 05, 2000.

Lon- Thanks for the address, but when i enter it i get "Forum Moderators BBoard" and password required. It's been awhile since i looked up past postings-- is this it? sorry to be such a pest on this, but the "password thingy" kind of threw me! Thanks--dory

-- dory (crtwheel@eburg.com), January 05, 2000.

DietER, you cAN'T END It LiKe tHis!!!!!!! oFCoUrSe PARtINg IS nOT SwEet, BUT PURe sOrrow!!! why mUsT you LEaVE now??? riGht NoW When WE NEEd yoU tHe MOst?????????!!!!!!!! you'vE bEEN a Very HelpFUL VOICE OF ReAson on ThiS fOrUm, (etc)

No, I didn't retype this. I used my Dieteriser. Click he re for a Win32 exe. It creates a text file called "Dieterised.txt" from an input file. It can't replicate his panache though. :)

-- Servant (public_service@yahoo.com), January 05, 2000.

After cutting and pasting the link, take the 2 spaces out (between the o and a in bboard, and between the s and g in msg_id

-- Chuck, a night driver (rienzoo@en.com), January 05, 2000.

My pod will never be the same. Greybear, do you have an extra hanky?

-sniff-

-- Will continue (farming@home.com), January 05, 2000.

Well, fer goodnessakes,..Lon, it finally all makes sense. Here I was thinking the furtive figure in the shadows was Rob nippin' the juice! (whacking head with heel of hand!!!) It was Dieter. By the way, everyone, Lon is the Hunter Thompson of the Magnificent and Colossal Yourdon Y2K Circus and chief elphunt wrangler!

Dieter, "I have always been, and will always be your friend. Live long and prosper!"

She in the sheets, upon the hilltop,... (aka Head Clown,..."Love me, love my Fool!")

-- Donna (moment@pacbell.net), January 05, 2000.

Walter! You are right. Many of the "old time" forum regulars have just been lurking and they came by tonight to pay their respects to Dieter or to old forum friends. I've seen more old familiar names on this thread than on a weeks worth of current posts. Were you someone else other than Walter in the olden days?

-- Sylvia (bluebirdms@aol.com), January 05, 2000.

Dieter;

What can I say ... other than - it's been real!

Laughter is the medicine that can cure all ills. And you are, without a doubt, the Master Pharmacist.

And as always, I am ...

-- hiding in plain (sight@edge of.nowhere), January 05, 2000.