As most of you know by now, I am the guy who picks up the little white bags of garbage you see on the side of the freeway. Well today was my first day back at work in the year 2000, and let me tell you things aren't quite as rosy as the Pollies would have you believe. Not by a long shot.

I work the I-5 corridor in Northern Washington State. At about 8:30 this morning I was heading North, driving my big truck, listening to the radio, when I must have fallen asleep behind the wheel. This is no big deal as I do this all the time when working. But when I woke up I had to quickly hit the brakes as I noticed a long line of vehicles stopped in front of me. Fortunately I managed to stop in time, and as I sat there with my heart pounding, I tried to figure out what on earth the traffic was stopped for. About a 1/4 mile in front of me I noticed some kind of military checkpoint. They were stopping every car (even searching some). I noticed the signs said "Canada Border Crossing", but I did not believe this. No, this was definately a Martial Law Interstate Checkpoint. They were lying to us in order to keep the sheeples from catching on, but I was not about to be fooled (since I am an avid listener of Art Bell, and a TB2000 regular).

Well it was now my time to face the undercover UN Deathtroopers. They asked me what I was doing, so in order to play along I replied "Sightseeing". Well they must not have suspected that I knew the 'truth' so they let me in. After I got past the deathtroopers I started to notice the 'Y2K glitches".

First of all the speed limit was now 100 miles per hour. Also the money didn't look right (perhaps its the new UN currency). Also many signs were now both in English and French (the French must be so the UN troops can communicate). Most of the regular radio stations had disapeared and some new ones had replaced them, but on different frequencies (some were even in French). Gasoline was no longer sold by the gallon but by the litter (now I know a thing or two about litter since I pick it up for a living, but I still can't figure out how you can use litter to measure gasoline), surprisingly gas only cost about 65 cents a litter though.

Anyways to make a long story short, y2k glictches had made everything different. Judging by the day I had today, I would say we are already at a 6 on a scale of 1 to 10, and this is only January 3rd.

-- Butt Nugget (catsbutt@umailme.com), January 03, 2000

Answers

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!! Hilarious! You otta be in Hollywood....

-- Rasty (Rasty@Bulldoggg.xcom), January 03, 2000.

Gawd!! And all the time I thought it was the Germans!!!!

-- King of Spain (madrid@aol.cum), January 03, 2000.

You gotta go to hollywood,the walk will do you good. just kidding,had me goin for a sec.

-- mn (g@l.j), January 03, 2000.

Hey - that sure wasn't Canada you entered! All of our highway speed signs say "100 kilometers per hour."

Those UN prop painters goofed...typical for the UN!

I'd say you probably entered one of those secret UN strongholds near the Canadian border where over 100,000 Ghurkas are kept, honed and waiting to seize the 50 contiguous States. The Gurkhali for "I'm in on it!" is "Szi-se-en", which only confirms my suspicions...

Is your truck white, BTW :)?

-- John Whitley (jwhitley@inforamp.net), January 03, 2000.

Canada is one big UN camp... ready to invade you.

Got something to do with Free Trade and unions. The Canadians lost so many jobs, the unions made a deal with the gov.to retrain the workers as UN troops. They figure that if they invade the US... the US will do the same... and train their displaced workers to invade Mexico.

Nicaraugua, look out...

I hesitate to even post this important information, knowing how it will cause the list price for white Chev Suburbans to skyrocket.

-- gary elliott (Gelliott@real.on.ca), January 03, 2000.

You should be on the stage! (The one that leaves in five minutes.)

;-) ;-) ;-)

-- Connie Iversen (hive@gte.net), January 03, 2000.

Hey Butt Nuggett, Where did you come up with the name "Butt Nuggett" anyhow?

Curious for some unknown reason,

Frank

-- Someone (ChimingIn@twocents.com), January 03, 2000.

Butt, You made a big joke. Did you used to make jokes? The rollover has made you happy, not sad. This is a good thing. Happy Y2K.

-- Mara (MaraWayne@aol.com), January 04, 2000.

Hey...Butt Nuggets a cool name. Story was great too...but you lost me on the checkpoint part. I always assumed the invading U.N. peeps would look like Road Warrior rejects... };-]

-- Dingle Berry (EventHoriz@n.com), January 04, 2000.

Butt Nugget is just that.... a real nugget

-- Netghost (ng@no.yr), January 04, 2000.

Are you sure you woke up?

-- Mark Hillyard (foster@inreach.com), January 04, 2000.

Butt Nuggette; Your a real turd. Pretty funny though :)

-- Michael Erskine (Osiris@urbanna.net), January 04, 2000.