"Twas the week after Christmas" (some post Y2k humor)

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Twas the week after Christmas and all through the house Not one PC was working, not even a mouse.

I turned on the power but nothing was working; I grab the computer and start banging and jerking.

I laid out three grand for this big piece of junk On January 1st the damned thing went "Kerplunk"!

When I threw it out the window, it made such a clatter My neighbors all called to ask "What's the matter?".

I turned on the TV - the cable is down; My microwave oven is making weird sounds.

My new VCR is as dead as a rock; Not one light is blinking, not even the clock.

It's twenty below - the peak of snow season; The furnace won't work, the pipes are all freezing.

This couldn't have happened at a worse time - (I think I have frostbite on my behind).

I laughed for a second and thought it all funny, Then a call from my bank regarding my money.

"We managed your pension and savings with care But for some odd reason your money's not there.

We were Y2K ready, we'd thought we'd be heroes, But regret to inform you your bank balance is ... ZERO!

I drop the receiver, to the bathroom I rush, Push down the handle - the toilet won't flush.

I turned on the faucet, not one drop hits the sink, I head out the door .. to the pub for a drink.

I jump in the car, turn the key in the switch - It only goes "click", I scream "Son of a bitch!".

A computerized ignition just sealed my fate - Not set up for the "2000" date.

I twitch like a madman, this cannot be true - No car, heat, or money - what the hell can I do?

Shouting obscenities, as I ran out of sight Happy y2k to all, it's been one hell of a night!.

-- Nadine Zint (nadine@hillsboro.net), January 02, 2000


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