OT? I'm not really sure

greenspun.com : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread

Since it was just New Year's Eve, and presumably some of us celebrated it in some watering hole or other, I'm not sure whether the following two stories are OT or not. YOU BE THE JUDGE. --------------------- A guy goes into a bar, sits down, orders a drink. Suddenly he hears a voice "Nice tie!". He looks around, and there's no one in the vicinity. The voice speaks again "And it goes so well with your shirt. You certainly have excellent taste!" Suddenly our hero realizes that the voice is coming from a small dish of beernuts. He beckons the bartender over and says "Hey, what's with these nuts?" The bartender replies "Oh, they're complimentary." ------------------------- A duck goes into a bar, tells the bartender he wants a condom. The bartender says "Do you want me to put it on your bill?"

"Waaack" squawks the duck. "I'm not that kind of a duck!"

-- Peter Errington (petere@ricochet.net), January 02, 2000

Answers

Ugh!

-- Ludi (ludi@rollin.com), January 02, 2000.

i don't get it?

-- tt (cuddluppy@nowhere.com), January 02, 2000.

A freeway and a big parking lot are in a bar, trying to impress some cute little expressways by showing off their huge capacities. This tiny little pink road walks in and orders a glass of lemonade. He turns to the freeway and says "Hi. How ya doing?"

The freeway goes pale, grabs the parking lot, and runs out of the bar.

"What did you do that for?" asks the parking lot.

"Are you kidding?" gasps the freeway. "That guy's a complete cycle path!"

-- Servant (public_service@yahoo.com), January 02, 2000.


Ugh, deux!

-- Ludi (ludi@rollin.com), January 02, 2000.

My favorites are the three-legged pig jokes (you know, the ones with the punchline, "wouldn't want to eat a good pig like that all at once"). Almost as good as the three-legged chicken jokes.

-- Brooks (brooksbie@hotmail.com), January 02, 2000.


Brooks, clearly you are a person of cultivation. I have a feeling that you will agree with me, therefore, that parrot jokes should not be overlooked as a fine category. You know, the ones where the little old lady goes into a pet shop and says she wants a well brought up parrot, and the shopkeeper says that this bird was raised by a missionary couple, but it was really raised by sailors.....

-- Peter Errington (petere@ricochet.net), January 02, 2000.

Moderation questions? read the FAQ