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The real Y2K crisis: finding a new worry

Editorial, The New Mexican - 12/27/1999

Among James Thurber's many delightful tales was one of "the day the dam burst" in his hometown, Columbus, Ohio.

A key character was the "get ready man," who for years had loudly admonished everyone to "get ready-y-y-y-y. The world is coming to an end."

When a randomly running youth gave rise to rumors that the dam had burst, the "get ready man" was in his element, contributing to panic - and subsequent embarrassment when it turned out that nothing had happened.

This fine prophet, whose triumphs included a hilariously chaotic intrusion on a local production of King Lear, would be delighted with these days.

Everyone, it seems, is "getting ready."

As 1999 ticks to a close and Y2K heaves into sight, the dooms-dayers believe planes are going to be grounded. Trains will be stopped. Computers will be turned off. The Pentagon will be on special missile alert. Politicians will don disaster gear and strike heroic poses at crisis centers replete with pocketa-pocketa machines - reminiscent of yet another Thurber character: Walter Mitty.

Thus the climactic throes of a monstrous computer foulup that began with a shortcut: using two digits instead of four to designate years: '97, '98, '99, '00 - and of course the "00" comes out as 1900. Unwitting computer wizards doing Luddites' work, if indeed all goes haywire.

But will it really?

End-of-century reprogramming has been going on at a feverish pace - and at a cost which, worldwide, could reach a trillion dollars. That could have fed many of the starving masses and otherwise gone toward untold social good.

Instead it has gone into "getting ready" - for what?

"Trigger dates," such as 9-9-99, have passed with no serious damage to the numerical minds of computers. Nor have test scenarios set off computer chaos.

About a half-hour into the new year (and you read it here first), you'll see the exposh of the Y2K Plot's true villains: Multinational manufacturers of antacids.

While the people of the world were hoarding the item-of-the-moment predicted to vanish with Auld Lang Syne, the Tums and Rolaids people were content to keep global markets supplied with their ulcer-easing tablets - and simply enjoy the bonanza of Y2K worrywarts.

Lest their stockholders fear a sales falloff Saturday morning when all is well with the world, we commiserate. At the same time, we hasten to assure them:

By then, someone will have come up with a new worry.

-- Uncle Bob (UNCLB0B@AOL.COM), December 27, 1999

Answers

I am so relieved. Someone might direct the author to R.C.'s articles.

-- (...@.......), December 27, 1999.

...@...

HEAR HEAR.

-- (Kurt.Borzel@gems8.gov.bc.ca), December 27, 1999.

If Y2K is NOT a 7-10, what you have to worry about is accelerated operations of the NWO to consolidate control. Even the political DGI/DWGI will realize that we are all niggers (regardless of race) on the government plantation. Internal travel documents, restriction of international travel, work permits, control of "your" money and property, activities and associations monitored, politically incorrect speech and actions punished, your person and "your" property subject to search at any time... Can't happen here, you say? Well, wake up snookie, the examples I just gave are ALREADY IN EFFECT.

-- A (A@AisA.com), December 27, 1999.