First Address by the NWO

greenspun.com : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread

Greeting humans,

As the president of the NWO, I would like to thank you for the kind words of praise you have directed our way recently on this forum.

We here at the NWO want you to know that our main goal is to serve and protect the best interests of the American people. We will over the next five days offer intelligent responses to issues that are causing undue concern for citizens concerned about the so-called Year 2000 computer problem.

I would also like to add that Peter de Jager currently sits on our Board of Directors. Others include Hunter S. Thompson, Kay Bailey Hitchinson, Margaret Thatcher, Bernard Llama and David Cronenberg.

We are now willing to take your questions.

John

-- John S. Butler (NWO@hereand.now), December 26, 1999

Answers

President Butler,

Sir, what would you say has been the single most effective strategy you have employed to keep your agenda a secret until your rise to power in the US sir?

-- Hokie (nn@va.com), December 26, 1999.


President Butler,

Others suggest that you are too afraid to enter the US until our puppet government removes the firearms from its citizens. Is this true sir, and if so, then what is your intelligence doing to expedite this?

-- Hokie (nn@va.com), December 26, 1999.


Can you get Hunter S. Thompson to come to my New Year's Party? And bring, uhh, supplies?

-- Forrest Covington (theforrest@mindspring.com), December 26, 1999.

President Butler,

Others suggest that you are too afraid to enter the US until our puppet government removes the firearms from its citizens. Is this true sir, and if so, then what is your intelligence doing to expedite thi

We are currently working with President Clinton to ensure that Y2K related occurences are well placed during the century date change. We will need to scare the populace so that the Martial Law initiative proceeds as scheduled. We will then have the President issue an order to Americans during his Sunday radio address, to lay down it's arms which will be collected by NRA agents dispatched country-wide. This is only the beginning..

John

-- John (NWO@here.now), December 26, 1999.


TO: John S. Butler, NWO

FROM: King of Spain

SUBJECT: Question regarding New World Order (NWO)


Does Kay Bailey Hitchinson like to mudwrestle?

-- King of Spain (madrid@aol.cum), December 26, 1999.


Dear King;

Kay Bailey isn't human. Therefore, mudwrestling wouldn't be advised.

John

-- John (NWO@hereand.now), December 26, 1999.


LOL

-- Hokie (nn@va.com), December 26, 1999.

Sir, what is the magical event you've planned for over deecee on the 31st sir?

-- Hokie (nn@va.com), December 26, 1999.

Just one example.

We kinda had some fun with our northern neighbours this week. We got a couple of our agents to disguise themselves as Canadians and filled their cars up with Molson Golden. The Immigrations people (aka NWO agents) made up some story about explosives, had fun with the media, then went home and drank themselves silly.

Kosky loved that one.

John

-- John (NWO@hereand.now), December 26, 1999.


Yes sir, it was amusing. But sir, let me be specific: Is the rumor true that the magical event in deecee sir is that you have arranged for the space shuttle sir to fly over the mall upside down with cargo doors open, raining Cuban cigars onto the audience and the US president sir? If so, what is the purpose of this humiliation on the US pres sir?

-- Hokie (nn@va.com), December 26, 1999.


This is a good one. We have a large number of air balloons equipped with large speakers pounding out laser guided messages and melodies from a band called Spirtualized. Should be really nuts.

That was Hunters idea.

John

-- John (NWO@hereand.now), December 26, 1999.


Hunter Thompson is dead, isn't he? Or is he still just stoned in the middle of nowhere writing alot of garbage?

-- rr (rr@sover.net), December 26, 1999.

Your Holiness Butler 33 Degree Chief Muckety-Muck

Is it true that Peter de Jager is a NWO plant? I have heard rumours that he has a fleet of 1,000 white vans in his front yard in Canada, this is what tipped me off...

That, and the Fez he wears when he thinks no-one is looking...

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), December 26, 1999.


space shuttle with cigars, I like that one. How about we add a little Aussie rock music ass well...

John

-- John (NWO@hereand.now), December 26, 1999.


Dear Andy,

Sorry about the mix-up. Mr. de Jager isn't really Canadian. We thought it was hilarious how the hit comedy cartoon South Park portrayed Canadians. So we went ahead with his new identity. In fact, we wanted Peter to be like the character Dr. Mephisto. I think we failed though.

John

-- John (NWO@hereand.now), December 26, 1999.



LOL, good ones!

-- Hokie (nn@va.com), December 26, 1999.

Johnny,

Does your outfit moonlight by doing crop circles?

Enquiring minds want to know.

-- Lurkess (Lurkess@Lurking.Net), December 26, 1999.


At last report, Hunter S. Thompson is alive and well, and living in the Colorado mountains near Aspen.

-- Just (anotherbuckeye@columbus.org), December 27, 1999.

Hunter Thompson has lived for years in a well-fortified bunker named "Owl Farm", in Woody Creek, CO, just outside of Aspen. He should be in good shape for rollover.

-- (RUOK@yesiam.com), December 27, 1999.

We here at the NWO want you to know that our main goal is to serve and protect the best interests of the American people. We will over the next five days offer intelligent responses to issues that are causing undue concern for citizens concerned about the so-called Year 2000 computer problem.

President Butler,

Does this mean after five days your answers will be unintelligble? Will this be because of Y2K problems?

-- Blue section leader (blue-leader@rebel-hq.org), December 27, 1999.


Hey NWO Dude,

I notice that your salutation ("Greeting humans") omits the Squirrel King and his brethren. Should it be inferred that they are actually agents of the NWO.

-- David L (bumpkin@dnet.net), December 27, 1999.


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