Its Christmas Eve here in northern California. Its a little cool outside, but I have a nice fire going and a full cup of coffee. I like this time of the year, cool, fire and coffee. I always try to set aside time on the Eve to reflect. Reflect on the past year, where I was and where I am now. Try to figure out what I have learned and what I have lost.

1999, looking back has been my year of years. 98 ended on a high note. The prospects of marriage and a new live. In January that failed, back to square one. I was ready to give up on the thought of a mate, and just settle down to the computer and the ranch. Being single isnt exactly something new, been in that state for close to twenty years. After a while you kind a get use to the idea. February, was a month of reconstruction. Trying to put direction back into my life. Some where around the beginning of March, on a Saturday night, I finished watching a movie. It was around 10:00 and I thought Id just check the computer before I went to bed. I remember the time so well and the event of that night change my whole out look on life. How, I cant remember, I came across Gary Norths site. I started to read. Time started to fly, and after a while I thought about a cup of coffee, then another cup, and It was 11:00 AM Sunday morning and I could not comprehend anymore. The brain needed rest. I in some way found my bed and my last thoughts were, could this be real? Looking back, that night seems so long ago, I reflect on the direction my life took starting that Sunday. All the decisions that has to be made and there were many. At one point not long ago, I set at this very desk and thought how much I hated the F---in Y2K and all that went with it. I hated the fact my life was upside down and I could not longer do the things I wanted to do. All my dreams were on standby and I could not find one person who could in actuality provide any meaning to this mess. I had reached a low point and the mind was playing games with me. I started to suffer from that one disease that is a killer, far surpassing Cancer, AIDS or others. I was stricken with self doubt. My emotional mind was at war with my logical mind. I was ready to throw in the towel and catch the next 747 to Asia. Kickback, have some fun and relax. I was so low I even called Northwest and booked the flight. Then, as I was packing I started to think. The logical was winning over the emotional. I called Northwest back, cancelled the flight, and told them to keep the $75.00 cancellation charge for my stupidity. I needed to stay the course, and keep the mind in check.

Looking back, it has not been easy. I was lucky in some respects. I watched the Stock Market and bailed deeply in the black. Watched Gold and Silver and positioned myself as best as anyone could. When the markets crash, and they will, all the pain and emotional suffering I have experienced, will in a small way, reward me with a return far beyond my wildest expectations. Again, it has not been easy. I REALLY wanted a new Chevy Blazer. It was a Blazer that cost me the $75.00 charge to Northwest. I spotted the one of my dreams. Deep black, tan leather interior, with every option one could have. Man was it beautiful, and boy did I come close, oh so close. Invest $34,000 in Gold or a Black Blazer. Appreciating vs. depreciating, the mind was in over load. I have the Gold, less the $75.00, and the dealer has or sold the Blazer.

I gave up more then just an automobile. I cant begin to count the hours I have set at this desk and read report after report. Listen to all the spin. Now, the clock is ready to strike. All is relative clam, after all it is Christmas Eve and who can think of Y2K on Christmas Eve?

I close with my own two cents. Where ever you are, stop and think for a moment. What you see around you, whatever that maybe will change in less in one week. Society as we know it, will past into the night and into history. There is no way around this. We live in a complex interconnected world. The United States, even, if every computer we have was 100% complaint and ready, we will still suffer enormously. The true color of gold is not Gold, it is black and it is OIL. Forget everything else. Oil is what makes this country, and we have progressed to the point without it we will expire. This nation will come to a grinding halt. We, as a nation have created this problem in our ever pursuit of a better life. I am not adverse to the comforts of life. I am only trying to say, there comes a time when the debt has to be repaid. As of today the population of the United States stands at 274,188,151. A major shortage of Oil, due to the inability of the producer countries to deliver, and the people will start dying. Really hard for you to believe this concept. We talk about food, and I have a six month supply. We talk about water, I have all I will need. However, we skim over the fact that it takes Oil to produce the things we need to live. Yes, some of you will say, Ill just go to the woods and hunt for food and drink out of the mountain stream. Really, I know a ton of ladies that would not make it a week in the woods. The age of the Mountain Man died long ago. Keep in mind, the countries the United States needs to produce the Oil are in trouble. We can not say what will happen in each country. When they go down, we will soon follow, one way or the other.

There is so much more to say on our perspectives, however the hour is late. I do not use the words if or I wish. We can not escape what tomorrow holds. A lot of the members of this board will not be with us in one year, and I may be one of the numbers. Whatever the course this country, or this world takes, this will be the greatest challenge man has ever undertaken.

Sundown

-- Sundown (Sundown@shasta.com), December 24, 1999

Answers

Thanks Sundown for the time and effort of your post; it is well said.

-- Hokie (nn@va.com), December 24, 1999.

Sundown...VERY sobering, very sobering indeed. You are right...its OIL stupid (all you pollies STILL out there...which unfortunately is 99% of the people). No oil, no trains. No trains, no coal. No coal, no power. No power, chaos and death. How long will your food last? Not LONG ENOUGH! Good bye, farewell all. Death awaits us all.

-- Rod (theend@oftheworld.com), December 24, 1999.

Eloquent and reflective. Yes, we have all been there and sadly, the truth is staring us down....and the clock is ticking.

-- LZach (lisa@texasnetworks.com), December 24, 1999.

Rod, What you say might be true in any time except for the ineffable gift of Christmas. In this dark, dark time I extend you wishes for a Merry Christmas.

-- PD (PaulDMaher@att.worldnet.com), December 24, 1999.

Gawd, this is DEPRESSING. But, to be honest, I prefer this to watching Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed caterwalling in "It's A Wonderful Life".

-- King of Spain (madrid@aol.cum), December 24, 1999.

I can relate Sundown... well said. Lets just hope you get to be wrong and the 2001 model of that Blazer will be even more beautiful and waiting for your check of 34,000 next fall.

-- A Guy (waiting@getit.com), December 24, 1999.

I appreciate your post, sounds a little reflective on an historical Christmas eve.

"Really, I know a ton of ladies that would not make it a week in the woods. The age of the Mountain Man died long ago."

No, babe. I am there, have been there since the beginning of time. This lady is ready. I will survive, I have always survived. You should not despair. We are many who feel the same way. It is time for us to pull together the strength and the many talents the Lord had given us to get through this.

This is the lonliest Christmas I have ever faced. My DH shot himself 6 years ago, and it's been an ongoing struggle every day to survive. I don't share this with too many people anymore. This year in particular, has been most difficult, as I have faced alienation from my family, moreso than in he days after he died. Only because of my concern over their wellbeing in the troubling days ahead. They head no warnings.

"We can not escape what tomorrow holds."

No, we cannot. Everything will change. We will resist, we won't like it. I have lost friends and family because of one person's decision. Yet, somehow, you reach deep inside yourself and pull all the strength you can from the Lord to carry on, to draw your first morning's breath, to live, and know that you are loved.

Forget the present for a moment and focus on the One who truly loves you to to help you through this...to help us all through this.

May the love of the Lord shine down on you and yours all the days of your lives.

A merry christmas to you, Jeannie

-- (Jeanne d' Arc@aol.com), December 24, 1999.

KOS- I refuse to mudwrestle with someone so insensitive to an American Classic (film and stars)!! (And I had did have a thought; neigh, an image-but you just zapped it!)

-- Big D (ddac@yahoo.com), December 25, 1999.

I too reflect at this time of year. I had some interesting sex, my family life remained stable, i saw my dad twice (more than in 10 years) & kept my head (barely) above water. I hope next year will be better. I'm very thankful to TPTBUpstairs for all the good that's happened to me this year. I hope we only experience a BITR. Merry Christmas, Xmas, Kwanza, Hanukah, seasons greetings, happy new year TO ALL!!!

-- INever (inevercheckmy@onebox.com), December 25, 1999.

There is such a warm fuzzy feeling of family here with you folks here on Christmas, I love you all, you make me feel connected. Merry Christmas.

-- Zeda (rickster@n-jcenter.com), December 25, 1999.

Sundown,

I, too, live alone on a ranch and share some of your concerns. But I'm also very thankful I'm in a place that is so well stocked and isolated from the madness of the cities.

I stumbled onto North's site in August of 1997, so it's been an even longer cycle for me and others who "got it" early on. I'll have no regrets if nothing much happens out there, but I don't think a "1" is in the cards for us. I wouldn't miss the next few weeks for anything, hopefully.

midwest

-- (midwest@rancher.com), December 25, 1999.

Very nice thoughts, Sundown. I think many of us are having a reflective Christmas. Me too.

I am somewhere near you in northern CA. Last night I was watching TV, and reading and thinking that this was just another everning. No fire last night, but I did hear the roar of the waves breaking on the beach about a mile down the road.

I suspect the element of Y2K and "what is really going to happen" has caused many of us, particularly the lurkers and contributors on this forum, to have a tumultuous year.

Last Christmas, I was working in the valley, going nuts with workload and travel, logging on to Gary North every few days to see what was happening. Many of my friends and family were convinced I was over the edge on this issue. I felt like a hamster in a habitrail.

This year, I am home having taken very early retirement. I bailed in April and haven't been on an airplane since then, a first. I do some consulting, have become somewhat active in this tiny little community and am making new friends. I am rarely vocal about my thoughts on Y2K, it became time to shut up.

My cupboard is stocked, water is in the garage, the winter vegetable garden is planted. I have made all the decisions about middle of the road survival I can. It wasn't the money, thankfully, but an overwhelming desire to bury my head in the sand when it came to thinking and planning for more than a 6.

My son and his wife GI'd last Wednesday it appears, so Mom made a run to the local Safeway. In addition to presents and cinnamon rolls going to the east bay today, there is about a month's worth of preps in the car trunk.

I took a gun safety class to test my rusty skills and decided not to-- not because I am not a good shot or that I could not use a weapon--it is a personal moral line I have chosen not to cross. I may borrow my son's dog for a few weeks and see if I need to go to the shelter and adopt a stray.

The PC has been tested, the UPS will be installed tomorrow or Monday. Next week is cleaning, gardening, some strategic food preparation and one last car service.

I have broken many a fingernail in laboring about my home this year. The St. John Knits and silk trousers for the corporate uniform and customer presentations have been replaced by sweats and jeans. Life is a lot simpler for me and I suspect it will continue to get better and better for the most part. Will I survive all of this, you betcha! I'm a sixth generation decendent of Colorado pioneer families who grew up camping and backpacking on horses. The inherited streak of toughness from Olive and Mary Katherine will serve me well.

I believe this too shall pass--maybe like a kidney stone, but it will pass. My beliefs are close to those stated by Jim Lord, Big Dog, Diane, and others--maybe not as high on the numerical scale. You said it right--it all comes down to the availability of oil. All of my preps, and my financial risk taking to get myself warm, safe, dry and blissfully unemplyoyed may come a cropper. If it gets ugly out there, where I live is a pretty safe place to be. I can feed myself pretty much from the garden and bike to nearby growers and fishermen to help fill in the blanks. 2000 worries me less than 2001. If 2000 brings about widespread economic and environmental chaos, 2001 will be like 1932 or worse.

I am grateful to this forum and you all. I have gleaned a lot of practical tips, and have benefited from your expertise on petroleum, the economy, government and general survival. I have also enjoyed most of the discussions (We can take a pass on Lady Logic and a few others)and wieghed in with my opinions about the state of readiness for the telecomm world come next year.

Thank you. It is time for me to go make some rolls and finish wrapping some presents. God speed your journey over the next few days and weeks.

Take time for the blessings of the season today, and tomorrow lets all get back to work

-- Nancy (wellsnl@hotmail.com), December 25, 1999.