For about six months my credit union has been making a big deal out of how really REALLY ready they are for Y2K. Theres a big banner on the front of the building proclaiming Y2K OK! and the employees have been required to wear bright red golf shirts with Y2K Bug Busters embroidered on them at least one day a week for the past several months.

Well, today I walked in under the big Y2K OK! banner to transact some business and guess what? You guessed it, their computers were down. I stepped up to the next available teller and nodding to the little carbonless form she held an old fashioned ballpoint pen over, I innocently asked Whats this? of the girl in the Y2K Bug Busters golf shirt.

The computers are down. she mumbled.

My what a surprise! I exclaimed just loud enough to cause several customers to look over my way.

Shed obviously heard variations of my witticism many times today and was not a happy camper. I had to show a picture ID to deposit my checks and receive part two of a two-part form in exchange. By agreeing not to try to access the deposited funds within the next three days I avoided having to wait around while the Bug Buster checked with the Head Bug Buster (to see if I was bugged?).

Then I informed the Bug Buster I wanted to purchase two money orders. Youre not going to try take it out of your account? she asked anxiously. No, Ill pay cash. I replied, much to her relief. I then pointed out that Id been around these parts longer than the CU and so was entitled to free money orders. Half expecting another threat to go to the Head Bug Buster for conformation of my claim I waited with baited breath, but she sighed and allowed as how I was entitled to the freebee.

The transactions took only slightly longer than theyd have taken if shed entered them directly into the computer, but the part we two Bug Busters played in this monetary drama was only the tip of the iceberg. On both sides of us other tellers were piling up parts of two-part forms at the same rate we were. Sooner or later, whenever the computer got back up, the reckoning would come.

All of that information would have to be entered by hand into the computer before the UC could balance its books. Now you know why banks used to close at three oclock in the afternoon! I can see them now: Emma, is this a 3 or an 8? Why no, Ann, Id say its a 6 or maybe an overactive five.

Now all I have to do is meticulously check my next bank statement to be sure the transactions I thought Id made were made. Maybe the next time I go to the CU Ill take along a can of Raid.

-- David Craig (DesertDave@aol.com), December 24, 1999

Answers

My bank has a huge outside time and temp sign on the roof that is constantly and irritatingly flashing "We're OK with Y2K." I think I'll watch it at the witching hour on 12/31 to see if it goes "We're O........................ By the way this bank, which is a branch of a large multistate bank, is so confident that they have an armed city cop standing in their lobby every minute they're open. When asked why, they just say, "oh, uh, it's just for the holidays." Strange, there's never been one of those in the lobby for any holiday before. hmmmmmmmmmmm.

-- duckinglow (keepway@low.com), December 24, 1999.

"The computers are down." Somehow, I expect that we will be hearing that sentence used quite a bit in the near future.

Got cash?

-- King of Spain (madrid@aol.cum), December 24, 1999.

We recently (early December)did a network upgrade for a business located inside a fairly large bank in Texas. While we were there, the boss told the employees of the firm that the bank had hired armed guards (at the customers insistence) to escort them to their vehicles after making large cash withdrawals and to not be alarmed by seeing them. Said the guards will be there through January.

-- LZach (lisa@texasnetworks.com), December 24, 1999.

The post office turned off its annoying countdown clock. LoL

-- PD (PaulDMaher@att.worldnet.com), December 24, 1999.

There is a new Gas station/convience store/Bank near us. I stopped ther to "top off" the other day. They have an LCD panel on the punp so they can advertise to you while you are pumping gas. THe message that was scrolling across the display said...

XYZ Bank is R2L ready... XYZ Bank is R2L ready... XYZ Bank is R2L ready...

-- Prep Scout (Y2K_is_close@hand.com), December 25, 1999.