OT (humor) Santa Claus and politics -- Part 2

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http://www.bogusnews.com/voafa/bnn/1222a.shtml

Federal Judge Blocks Santa From Using the 'Naughty List'

Santa Contemplates A Judge's Ruling Which Would Force Him to Give Presents to 'Naughty Children'

MONTPELIER, VERMONT - In a landmark legal decision, Federal District Judge, Joseph Weber, has ruled that Santa Claus' 'Naughty List' violates U.S. Anti-Discrimination Laws. Weber has threatened to hold Santa Claus in contempt of court if he does not "treat all children the same whether they have been naughty or nice."

The decision came about as a result of a lawsuit filed against Saint Nicholas by 'Democrats United-against Moral Intolerance' (DUMI). A spokesman for DUMI told BNN, "We filled this suit to raise awareness to the bigoted, judgmental and discriminatory practices of Kris Kringle. This old fat white guy has no right to judge whether our children are good or bad. We are elated that Judge Weber had the wisdom to side with us."

Reaction to the judge's ruling has been mixed among America's youth. Heather Jacobs, who received a new bike from Santa last year said, "It's not fair! I try very hard to be on my best behavior so that I will get a good gift from Santa every year. Why should I continue to be good if I'll get a good present even if I'm bad?"

Jeremy Taylor, who made last year's 'Naughty List', told BNN, "It serves Santa right. He's nothing but an old fuddy. It's totally cool that Santa has to give me a gift this year even though I've robbed kids of their lunch money, smoked cigarettes, not done my homework, and was suspended for bringing a gun to school."

Santa Claus told BNN that he has no intention to abide by the judge's decision. Said the 'Jolly One', "I'd rather quit my job than give a present to an undeserving reprobate who deserves nothing more than a good beating with a switch. As long as there is a Santa Claus there will be a 'Naughty List'."

-- Brooklyn (MSIS@cyberdude.com), December 23, 1999


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