Since someone recently told me they can't load FRL, here's a new version. Please keep the gif's to a minimum. They're funny but crash computers for a few of us. Will this thread see us to the Big Night??

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), December 19, 1999

Answers

Donna, here's the URL to the first Circus:

http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=000XiI

You can find them in the archives under "Misc; Humor and poetry", a new catagory started to please just us FRLians :-)

Enjoy!

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), December 20, 1999.

@}'-->---

Fruitcake Index...

#0-A: Perfect y2k food? (not for the serious)
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 000FvD

#0-B: Supermarkets, Duct Tape, and Phone Gnomes (Humor)
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 000W78

#0-C: Grandmama's missing check
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 000GXB

#0-D: Who else got one of 10 Anti-terrorist "Units"?
(pre-beginnings of the Canadianainainan steath geeses thread)
http://greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 000DfT

#1: Know Your Fruitcake! (not for the serious)
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 000Imj

#2: Know your Fruitcake, the second.
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 000hxd

#3: OT - Fruitcake III
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 000sez

#4: Know Your Fruitcake IV (not for the serious)
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 0011dm

#5: Fruitcake V : The Return of Sue?
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001Bli

#6: OT- FRLians Unite, members only - OT
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001Izu

#7: OT - FRL 7
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001Oap

#8: OT - FRL 8
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001P4r

#9: OT-FRL #9
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001TU6

#10: OT - FRL #10 (washing Murhpy)
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001ZPa

# 11: FRL # 11 - Lessons from the Geese
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001gIB

# 12: FRL #12 - Natural Highs
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001lYX

# 13: FRLian Thanksgiving
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001qlz

# 14: OT - FRL #14 - Limerick Festival
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001tTn

# 15: Happy Anniversary FRLians!
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001ypb

# 16: Join the FRL - Sign up today!
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 0021D5

# 17: Renewing the FRL
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=0023NG

And... for Lon...

Beans and Air Quality (HUMOR)
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 000h17

And another addition...

Brotherhood of Yourdon (Sir Richard of the Dale)
http://greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 000Ia4

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), December 20, 1999.

This belongs in the thread about duct tapes (as you'll see), but I didn't want to dredge up a heavy thread like that. It was in my mailbox this morning. I have colorful friends.

CHRISTMAS STOCKING

Author Unknown

As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings were overflowed, his poor panty hose hung sadly empty and grew increasingly threadbare. One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and a fake beard and went in search of aninflatable love doll. Of course, they don't sell those things at Wal-mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse yourself. I was there almost three hours saying things like, "What does this do?" "You're kidding me!" "Who owns that?" "Do you have their phone number?" Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section. I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll suitable for a night of romance that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour. I'm not sure what a complicated doll is. Perhaps one that is subject to wild mood shifts and using a French accent for no reason at all. (That also describes a few ex-girlfriends.) Finding what I wanted was difficult. Love dolls come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I figured the "vibro-motion" was a feature Jay could live without, so I settled for Lovable Louise. She was at the bottom of the price scale. To call LOuise a "doll" took a huge leap of imagination. On Christmas Eve, with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life. My sister-in-law was in on the plan and cleverly left the front door key hidden under the mat. In the wee morning hours, long after Santa had come and gone, I snuck into the house and filled the dangling panty hose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. Then I let myself out, went home, and giggled for a couple of hours. The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left the dog confused. He would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. I suggested he purchase an inflatable Lassie to set Rover straight. We also agreed that Louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner. It seemed like a great idea, except that we forgot that Grandma and and Grandpa would be there. My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. "What the hell is that?" she asked. My brother quickly explained. "It's a doll." "Who would play with something like that?" Granny snapped. I had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. "Where are her clothes?" Granny continued. I hadn't seen any in the box, but I kept this information to myself. "Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran," Jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. But Granny was relentless. "Why doesn't she have any teeth?" Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, "Hang on Granny, Hang on!" My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said," Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?" I told him she was Jay's friend. A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home. The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. The she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. The cat screamed, I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. My brother wet his pants and Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car. It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember. Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health. Louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. I think Grandpa still calls her whenever he can get out of the house.

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), December 20, 1999.

Tricia: Thanks for starting up this new one, Dear and Loyal FRLian. I also have a hectic week between my job and the holiday too, but will pop in here when I can.

Diane: The links grow ever longer, yet you manage to keep up :)

Old Git: ROTFL. Don't show that post to sweetie - you may give him some ideas :) I especially liked the part about how they fixed it with Duct Tape. Very realistic.

Now for a little official business. According to S.O.B's counts, plus some early mornin figurin, the total answer count for the FRL threads 1 through 16 is 2415.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@gottta.run), December 20, 1999.

Ole Git got a hole in one tush,

A flying doll the air did push

A flying ember the rubber did render,

By applying tape the hole did mender,

Without duck tape the doll was mush.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), December 21, 1999.

Duck tape. Hmmm. Do we also have Geese tape. If you tried to tape up a goose would it duck? If it didn't duck would it be a quack? Questions, questions.

---

The rain-swollen lake lies quietly resting under the bright almost-full moon. Thick, grey clouds race by, concealing it for a moment, only for it to reappear and shine through again like in a game of hide and seek. It's cratered 'face' looks expectantly towards the turning Earth, as the wind hisses over the cold wet stones. Soon it will happen. Another moment passes. An owl hoots, as if giving the signal, and the last of the streaking clouds pass to the east revealing the trembling stars in a velvet night sky.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@duck.tape), December 21, 1999.

There's life in the old FRL yet then? thought it was down for the final count.

-- Sir R (richard.dale@unum.co.uk), December 22, 1999.

Unlike Ole Git's leaking doll, a duck-taped stealth goose presents odd problems when trying to seal it up (or walrus it down, for those of you in Rio Linda)...

A stealth goose is of characterized by the stealth (ie, invisibility) factor that may cause the user to duck-tape the wrong end...thus, one would have a possibility of trying to stop a leaking stealth goose by taping the wrong end. Unfortunately, unlike a blow up doll, if you tape the wrong the end of a stealth goose, the opposite end remain open, and thus useable -- possibily noisy too.

Thus, if the other end (the end opposite the end you are not looking at) is duck-taped shut, the current end can be assumed to remain open and in compliant service. So, if the top were duck-taped shut, the bottom would continue leaking on the carpet, the housepet, and the garagepet. Hence, the goose is slowly emptied and disappears, but is silent. If the bottom were duck-taped shut, the top would remain open and noisy, and the goose could become pressuirzed to a point were the insides become outsides....most undesireable.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), December 22, 1999.

Okay...I know this is getting old but can someone email me with the URLs for both of Bok's chats...I know the passwords...we just put a new computer together but I lost the old bookmarks...

Really I am a holiday elf...but computers...well...you know...

-- Donna (moment@pacbell.net), December 23, 1999.

Hi, all :-)

Donna, I only know of one Bok chat site, it's the one he posted here and at Humpty -

http://homestead.deja.com/user.bok0non/index.html

hope that helps!

Rob, watch out, that Robert stuff is catching ;-)

Robert, ROFL (again). Thanks!

.

Extra large full moon

Beaming brightly from horizon

Greeting rising sun.

.

I thought that one up on my way home from work this morning. Watching the huge full moon on one side and a fabulously coloured sunrise on the other was a picture of hope and beauty - I hope some of you got to enjoy it, too. My husband tells me that the moon was closer to the earth, and sun and that it was a larger, brighter full moon than has been seen in over a hundred years. I should go see if it's almost as good tonight :-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), December 23, 1999.

Donna: I know of only one Bok chat, as Tricia said, but could have missed something since I haven't been around much.

Tricia: I know it is catching! So is typling fru :) It has been a hard week but at least I will have more 'free' time starting tomorrow. It is really quiet here at the FRL :( Guess everyone is taking care of their last minute (last second?) stuff.

-- (sonofdust@too.quiet), December 23, 1999.

Ed: I have always wondered if you have ever lurked on any of these FRL threads. Since you are with us tonight, and assuming you see this, would you care to let us know?

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@frl.humor), December 23, 1999.

"It's in ev'ry one of us to be wise,
find your heart, open up both your eyes.
We can all know ev'rything without ever knowing why.
It's in ev'ry one of us, by and by,...
By and by."

Happy holidays, Lovely ones! ((((FRLians))))

--She in the sheet, holly wreath on head, eggnog in hand, upon the hilltop,...

-- Donna (moment@pacbell.net), December 24, 1999.

Even to those who still lurk but don't post. May all of your dreams come true!

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), December 24, 1999.

Dear Mrs. Michaels let me into the kitchen today!!!! She wants me to help her clean it. Just finished the fridge. She is on a mission Big Time to have everything ship shape before rollover. We are talking the whole house here. Funny thing is, it already looks just fine to me!?! Sheesh. She is very serious about this cleaning stuff and has just told me to 'get back here' or I'll be banished to the car!

I would like to extend to each of you sincerest wishes for a safe and happy holiday. Along with these wishes goes a 100% non-fiat holiday cyber-fruitcake filled with nuts and various liquors. Enjoy, fellow nuts, uh, I mean FRLians.

Long Live the FRL. Long Live our Fruitcake Freedoms.

-- (sonofdust@cleaning.up), December 24, 1999.

(((Gayla, Rob and the Mrs.)))

I'll just hug throughout the next few days, when I see you all here.

XOXOXOX

-- Donna (moment@pacbell.net), December 24, 1999.

(((Gayla, Donna))) Hugs back! Now she threw me out of the kitchen cause she is doing the floor... wants me to get started on the dining room next. So much for 'free' time huh? LOL. Tonight we are going to grind up some wheat and make choc chip cookies and bread for tomorrow. Can't wait. I am a choc-a-holic if ever there was one :) Oh well, back to the dining room. See youz guyz later.

-- (sonofdust@home.now), December 24, 1999.

Oooh, fruitcake with nuts and mmmmmm liquor. Yummy!

Where are my hugs :-(

((((((Rob, Gayla, Donna, Lois, and all the lurking Frlians)))))))

Merry Christmas to all.

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), December 24, 1999.

(((((((Tricia)))))))

-- (secret@dmirer.ofTricia), December 24, 1999.

Lights are now up on the house (I know...late...but my kids will be amazed since mom hasn't had outside lights for years),...eggs ready for devilling,...throw rugs in the washer. Kidlings and their significant others to arrive between six and seven. Stouffer's lasagna thawing, shrimp to defrost. Ho, ho, ho!!!

(((Tricia, and lurking holiday campers)))

-- Donna (moment@pacbell.net), December 24, 1999.

Oh, looky, looky...what I found in the MCYY2K Circus thread...a love letter from Dieter!

SILEnCE FOOLISH WoMaN!!!!! IS NoT DietEr trYinG TO SLEEp???? SILeNCE i SAy!!!!! DO NoT AWaKEN DIetER WIth sucH NoNSEnsE!!!!! -- Dieter (questions@toask.com), February 25, 1999.

And then there's Rob asking if he isn't just too serious a guy to be one of the clown supervisors...LOL Well, Rob, we found out what it took to get you in a "funny" mood, eh? Reminds me of a joke:

Two cannibals feasting on a clown, one asks the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

The Magnificent and Colossal Yourdon Y2K Circus

-- Donna (moment@pacbell.net), December 24, 1999.

And look, guys...I found it, uh, or Disneyland found it where I left it parked. (Good thing you didn't have the only set of keys, Rob)

Can we all still fit inside?

-- Donna (moment@pacbell.net), December 24, 1999.

And another revisiting of the Circus threads...this story from the forlorn and underappreciated Lon of the Elphunts:

"Scene: A small, run-down circus trailer. A torn and faded canvas awning hangs precariously from one end like the over-sized cap of a little-leaguer. Inside, an elderly gent wearing a faded rubber nose and wisps of orange hair, bends over a small make-up tray before a cracked and foggy mirror. He begins to wearily wipe off the grease paint and perspiration; gingerly, as though searching for the masterpiece beneath a student's unfortunate immitation of a Dali clown.

Through the broken window, the early summer wind whistles up a gargantuan moon from the mists of the bayou. A lone, furtive figure nursing a jug of Jiggle Juice and a slice of fruitcake, retreats further into the shadows.

The old man stops and leans close to his mirror, as though gazing into the uncharted recesses of a clown's soul. His candle gutters in the breeze. Finally, he sighs and falls back heavily upon the thread-bare couch, scattering the remnants and aromas of cotton candy and Spam-on- a-stick, pilfered along the living delicatesson of the circus midway.

He lifts a lime-green, size 47 clown shoe, sniffs briefly, and mutters to himself:

"Damn elephunts."

This courtesy of Lon, the Hunter Thompson of the Legendary MCYY2K Circus. Thanks, Lon. Made me laugh out loud then,...and again today.

(((Lon))) Here's the link to the Audition Thread (2 0f 3 methinks) http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=000YCD

MCYY2K Circus Auditions and further fol-de-rol

-- Donna (moment@pacbell.net), December 24, 1999.

Here's the two next threads. In the first, Rob spends most of the time pttched on his butt, and Lon returns, temporarily. This is classic stuff you guys...I've been laughing all afternoon.

Off To Join The Circus

And The MCYY2K Circus Continued: The Circus Continues

In that last one if I remember right we head off to Deedah's place and he barricades himself inside with the Mrs. refusing to come out and play.

-- Donna (moment@pacbell.net), December 24, 1999.

((((Donna))))

Oh ma sha! We passed a good time din, no?

---

Christmas eve quiet

Full moon floats on the bayou

Memories visit

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), December 24, 1999.

Hi Tricia! There are plenty of hugs still here for you, Dear and Loyal FRLian Princess. (((Tricia)))

Donna, I'm still ROTFL at those Circus threads, even though I was three sheets to the wind for most of them - Oh, sorry, didn't mean to bring up sheets :)

The Clown Car!!!!!!!!!!! You found it after all this time. Yeah!!!!!!!! I'm going for a ride right now to the gin mill, uh, I mean grocery store. (I knew it was a good idea to keep these keys handy). I think we will all fit.

Hey Lon, lets go get some jig, er, groceries for the holiday. I'll be the designated drinker, I mean driver---

Here we go. All aboard. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

-- Rob Michaels (Weeeeeeee@wee.wee), December 24, 1999.

You booger...you are NOT supposed to drive the car when under the influence...dang it...I shoulda left it in the Disneyland parking lot....fergawdsakes.....

:-)

-- Donna (moment@pacbell.net), December 25, 1999.

(((((Tricia, Donna, Rob, Robert, Lon, Uncle, Diane, Old Git, Ashton & Leska, Deb, Hardliner, Chris & S.O.B.)))))

We're down to the last few days. I'm sure hoping the impact is minimal... but, if not, I wish all of you the best. I've had a lot of fun playing on these threads. You all have made me laugh. Thank you!

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), December 25, 1999.

Aw c'mon now Donna. I said I was the designated driver and so I didn't have a drop. Really! I have to admit though that I wanted to. Booger indeed! Sheesh! No, I just drove and bounced around a bit this time. It was fun. Besides, I had Santa duty too, and nothing was more important than that last night! :)

(((Gayla))) Glad to see your post. We nuts have had a lot of fun here, and you have been a big part of it all. I don't know how long it will continue but am grateful for all of the good times and laughs we have already had.

Since the answers count is going to start dropping soon, this is #29.

A merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night. Be well, FRLians.

-- (sonofdust@merry.christmas), December 25, 1999.

Sounds like you had fun here yesterday! I hope you all enjoyed your Christmas's, we had a great time. It was the first time in years that all my brothers, sisters and their kids were together at once - although we did miss my great-niece and -nephew who were with their dad.

Rob, I'll bet you were a terrific Santa - thanks for the hug :-)

Donna, thanks for your hug, too, but you still owe one to Lois, she unlurked long enough to write a limmerick for you on the previous thread. You may have missed it when we came here. (And don't you know how dangerous it is to let Rob have car keys?? Especially when Lon's around, or his cousin Iggy!!)

Lon, lovely poetry, just what I've come to expect.

To all my cyber friends who help me keep my sanity in these last few days before we find out if it's bang or fizzle, thanks and God bless you.

More last minute/second work to be done here - a household of procrastinators means we'll likely be working on stuff right up 'til the last day, so not much net time again this week. See you again soon, though, I hope.

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), December 27, 1999.

Hmmmn.

Ed lurking? Nah - he's too "animated" to "just lurk", too much of a writer, so lettuce put on our deductive geese tape and sleuth out likely candidates.

Assume, for example, that as a published writer, and as a computer user and programmer, he actually has a subconscious haterd of grammer, editors, spell-checkers and spell-chesser's, further, as a author of some renown, he has developed a well-earned "dislike" of editors and their funny insistence on things like grammer, grandma, grandpa, and various ants and uncles......therefour and herethreee, I submit the most likely ed-suspect-in-lurker candidate: DiEteR!

Evidence: have you ever seen them post at the sane time?

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), December 27, 1999.

Robert, I have never seen DiEteR post at any sane time - I don't think he has any. So your theory is flawed, and must be refitted. Try a slightly smaller one on for size :-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), December 27, 1999.

I've been remiss. Lois, this one's for you!

(((((Lois))))

-- Donna (moment@pacbell.net), December 27, 1999.

Uh... Happy Rollover, Gayla.

;-D

Loved the Circus! We'll have to start a Y2K compliant one... next year.

Blessings all!

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), December 27, 1999.

I don't think EY's me (I know that puts you all at great ease), but I'm not so sure about him maybe being my evil twin.

I've often wondered if he lurked on the FRL, but was just too dignifed to tell us. Oh well, I suppose it wouldn't do for him to be seen with fruitcake on his breath and a jar of cuzun Iggies' finest in his hand.

Still, I wonder........

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), December 27, 1999.

Since Kit and I will be on the road again for the next two days, I guess I had better take this opportunity to say this...

I was fairly chastized on the last FRL thread and by email for my coarse attempt at humor (rude mentions of various female body parts). Since I realize that I am basically an unsalvagable heathen, I did not give it much thought. But, should I have offended anyone, players or lurkers, I offer my sincere appology. And to the ladies I can only say, that I wouldn't tease you if I didn't like you.

I hope you all know that I have always posted in fun, and I trust that no one has taken seriously anything I have said . (Just like with my real family)

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), December 27, 1999.

Oh boy - Lon is uncertain if EY is he or isn't he, and only DiEteR knows for certain. Since now I have to ask if EY is me.....if I'm not certain, how can I tell if he isn't?

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), December 28, 1999.

Thanks, Donna! Is it time for more poetry (hint, hint)?

Drive safely, Lon. We'll expect your usual high quality report upon your return.

Robert, if you're not sure who's you and who's not, you should fit right in with all the nuts that make up this fruitcake; mixed, stirred and half-baked ;-)

.

Wonderful winter

Weeks and weeks of warm weather

Is it Edmonton???

.

New Year approaches

Waiting with trepidation

And expectation.

.

Over to you, Unc :-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), December 28, 1999.

Hi gang. Looks like it has been 'interesting' around here the last couple of daze :( Also looks like the sysops could use that scooper of Lon's from the Circus. Sheesh!

Marie is still on her 'cleaning mission'. I have been busy at work but am mostly done now - the calm before the storm I guess.

How about we use this thread to 'check in' during the weekend and let everyone how we are doing? Sort of an FRL Rollover Headquarters. Sound good?

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@checking.in), December 28, 1999.

FRLians: Please check in!

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@back.home), December 30, 1999.

Where's the [Check in] button?

If your ancestors are Slovakian, can they use the other Checkslovakian button too? Do the Brit's have to push the wrong end of the button so it goes up the screen, and not into the other side of the opposite end?

If you're not Canadian, can you Scotch the deal?

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), December 30, 1999.

Checking in as ordered, Sir!

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), December 30, 1999.

The 'land of the midnight twilight'

is what they call my home.

It's true in June, but now

The 'land of mid-day twilight'

is closer to the truth.

.

Chris, on the other thread you said you were frolicking in the snow! We can't, there's no snow to frolick in - we've had way above average temps all month, even broke the previous record for December with a 17C (~64F) on Dec. 27th. While I love the warm weather, I was hoping that if the water went off, we could supplement with snow - there's usually lots! Anyway, glad to hear you're happy, hope it keeps up through roll over :-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), December 30, 1999.

Robert: As far as the Brits go, they knot only drive on the other side, but even there circles are on the other side - I know since I was over there for a while and saw a sign that said "Circus" and must have driven around this circle for half an hour and still didn't see no Circus. Good thing we have one right here on the Forum. And they have some really different signs there too. Saw one that said "Way Out" - so I went down that road thinkin I would find something really way out but there was no way out since it was a dead end. Saw another sign that said "No Cats Eyes". Found out later that it meant that the road didn't have those little yellow reflector lights. So I realized that you can't get to the other side of the opposite end - at least not on the other side on the pond. (I hope this answers your question :)

Tricia: 64? Bathing suits time! LOL. It's been colder here than where you are! Sheesh!

Where are all of the other FRLians? On the 'other side'?

-- (sonofdust@back.home), December 30, 1999.

Am I back yet?

Actually, I been down in the bunker, helping Iggie do some "quality assurance testing" on his new line of Millenium Jiggle Juice. So, anyway, the missus started bangin' on the door, and hollerin' about robots! Iggie thought the Martians had landed and didn't want to open up at all. But since we had "tested" all of the first batch of product, and done run out of vienny sausagers to boot, I finally convinced him it would be in our best interests to come on out.

So anyway, I'm sorry that I caused all this fuss, but I am glad y'all missed me so much for two days that you closed down the forum till I sobered uh...... I mean till I got back.

Iggie wants to know if it's New Years on the other side of the world yet. He's got a new bottle and one of those funny hats. (I gotta go easy on him. He ain't been the same since those folks in Seattle canceled their big order.) Wait a minute.... that ain't no hat...

Iggie! Get that damn hubcap off your head. You're scaring the cat.

I guess we'll be here till the party. Ya'll come. (and bring more vienny sausagers)

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), December 30, 1999.

Millennium Jiggle Juice? OOOOOOOooooooooooo. Ya know, I got me a case full of them there vienny sausagers. Get some mucic goin and we could have a real nannahooty, uh, I mean hootaninny, nanny - Aw shucks. You know what I mean. Glad you found your way back here Lon. I still got the keys to the clown car too (Shhhhhhhhhh :)

-- (sonofdust@home.now), December 30, 1999.

Robbie,

I gotta tell ya, I had one of them near-death experiences while in the bunker with Iggie the other day. No, I know what you're thinkin', but it didn't have nothin' to do with boiled eggs and methane gas. What happened wass, I dang near choked to death on one of them vienny sausagers. Well, actually it were an old wine bottle cork that had been in the bait can for a while, but it tasted alright.

Anyhow, while I was in what you might call a contemplative mood (you also might call it unconsious), I had a thought for another one of those sappy OT threads I write from time to time.

I didn't post it here, because I know how y'all hate dumb poetry and such, and anyway, I thought the folks over at the Nobel prize for Literature would be more likely to see it if I started a brand-new thread. So, everbody go have a look at "OT- one last time; thoughts". Afterall, I wrote it with you each in mind.

Lon

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), December 30, 1999.

Hiding in Plain Sight waving to all my FRL friends and family from high atop the Rockies ....

Grateful that, for once, did not get any of them awful Store Bought Fruitcakes for Christmas this year. Then again, could've used a few more to finish building that brick wall out back ...

Given half a chance this group shall live forever family ne'er dies

my very first haiku!

-- hiding in plain (sight@edge of.nowhere), December 31, 1999.

Given half a chance

this group shall live forever

family ne'er dies

razzle - dazzle - ruckum, *&*%@#*& formatting!

sheesh!

-- hiding in plain (sight@edge of.nowhere), December 31, 1999.

hiding: Here is a wave back from deep in the Land of the DGIs. Thanks for posting your first Haiku. It is compliant :)

Lon: Off to take a look now. Never know what you'll find in then ol bait cans. Once I found old bait :(

-- (sonofdust@up.late), December 31, 1999.

In 24 hours

We cross that magic threshold

We will perservere!!

----

Long liff the FRL!!! ((((FRL))))

-- Steve (hartsman@ticon.net), December 31, 1999.

Thanks oh wise and wonderous leader

weather report (for those who need to feel better about where they are) - temp 15 degrees below zero - wind steady at 15 mph - wind chill factor 51 DEGREES BELOW ZERO !!!! Ain't you glad you not here?

-- hiding in plain (sight@edge of.nowhere), December 31, 1999.

HAPPY (hic) NEW YEAR!!!!!! Pass me a bottle...... What?....... twelve more hours?...........uh....well

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROBERT COOK!!! Pass me a.......

What?...... three weeks ago?........well....uh

HAPPY.....uh......HAPPY........... .

Shoot, I'm gonna go back to bed.

-- Iggie Chalmet (Prez@thejuice.factory), December 31, 1999.

Sunny, 65 (real degrees) outside, light breeze. Gotta do some vaccuming - or vaccuming, or vacuuuming, or whereever else you need to put those letters.....why'd they go off and missplell that word thataway anyway?

It hard to do the job itself, much less misspllell it rightly the wrong wya.

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), December 31, 1999.

Hahahahahahahaha. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hikkcupp. Youzguyz are both dunk! I kin telll. Butt I foundedd sum ting to dwink toooo (Dack Janiles) and peel worry hippy thatyouz are dinking wit me. HAHAHAhahahah hicpuukup. I am a bittle lit tried and peel sleeep pee but Hay itz Neu yearss weave. Weeeeehicpu hahahahahahaha/

A toats to all my fellooow FLIans.

Hippy Nu Ears!

wseetolbob: dis numb#55

nowhereiz hicpupy mykarkeyz???

-- WEeeeeeeeeeeee (hippy@nu.ears), December 31, 1999.

Ha Ha,

If I did this right, I may be the first to post in the new year. (I won't say millennium, since that is technically next year.)

(((Donna))) Thanks for the hug. Happy new year everybody.

-- Lois Knorr (knorr@attcanada.net), January 01, 2000.

Congratulations Lois, First FRL2000 Poster! And now, for an address:

Attention FRLians, lurkers, posters, and DieTeR!

As leader of this here FRL, it gives me great pleasure to wish each and every one of you a Happy FRLian New Year. As we look backwards, or sideways, or forwards into the unknown, it is important to recognize our mission is not over. We are still needed to provide a useful disservice to all that seek it. Besides that, we also have the en, ene, enem (you know) --- to consider and we must always remain vigilant in protecting our Fruitcake Freedoms.

Lettuce go into the future together, where perhaps someday we will really meet each other - a day many of us would relish. (If you don't have relish maybe you can go to a store to ketchup and get some). Anyway, the massage is Onward FRLians .

Long live the FRL!

Long Live our Fruitcake Freedoms!!

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@FRL.2000), January 01, 2000.

Happy New Years!!

.

Y2K fizzle

I'm so happy to be wrong

Let it stay that way!

.

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), January 01, 2000.

Well gang, my shift is finally over. Time for lights out, though for most the lights are just coming on. Sleep, wonderful sleep. BFN, Rob.

-------

A veiled Sun rises,

Over a Kingdom of Fog,

The lake sleeps - hidden.

-- (sonofdust@lights.out), January 01, 2000.

This then shall be my quest

Much I'd love to read here

But I shall neither read nor rest

Until I find us DiETeR!

-- jor-el (jor-el@krypton.uni), January 02, 2000.

Donna, Gayla, Unc, and Linda or all you occasional posting lurkers - where are you? Unc's probably knee deep in planning for that BBQ ;-) But the rest of you need to report in!

.

Miss friends already

So early in this new year

Hope they return soon!

.

Winter hits us now

Cruel cold, withering wind

Bless'd though; not here long :-)

.

There once was a woman of taste

Who thought winter was all a big waste

'Til brilliant sun shone,

Bade depression "Begone!"

And brought a huge smile to her face :-)

.

The poetry war may have been a mistake, but I'd truly like to read someone else's ramblings!

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), January 03, 2000.

Hello all! I found you! Glad to see this thread still exists! :-) (I'm also very glad to have power and water!)

I hear Uncle Deedah's party will be in June. I hope to meet lots of you there! Happy New Year!

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), January 04, 2000.

Ms. Gayla,

I didn't know that anyone was lost, but whoever it was, I'm glad that you found them. (G)

Ms. Tricia,

You may have felt that you were all alone here, but in reality we were all here with you in spirit if not in keyboard.

I was busy with other things, and then we just ran out of time somehow. After the delirium of the actuality of the roll,I just kind of forgot to post here. I did post to other threads though. Does that count? Still can't believe the event, but very glad that it is history now, andthat it went down as smoothly as a glass of Cousin Iggie's Jiggle juice.

In any event, your luck has run out and ole "Running Dummy" is back again. Look out everybody - it's baaaaccccK!

#62

S.O.B.

-- sweetolebob (buffgun@hotmail.com), January 04, 2000.

Hey Old Git!

Send me an email with your address.

I bought your and Sweetie a teeny present over the holidays (FRL related) and I want to mail it to you!

:)

-- FM (vidprof@aol.com), January 04, 2000.

Happy New Ears!

Even though the old ones kept my glasses from falling off.....

---...---...---

First, a technical question for the assembled (or disassembled - as the jiggle juiced ones may be) masses and misses: What are the real words to "Aulde Lane Syne"? How many verses are there in it? Are there actually more than two lines in the whole thing?

---...---...---...---

Next a personal request: your personalized "Big Chicken" postcards are available for review, comment, and perusal from Jean and I - but ya gotta email me with a place to send them.

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), January 04, 2000.

Now,...about that party, Uncle! I hope you have beer left! ((((Uncle))))

-- Donna (moment@pacbell.net), January 04, 2000.

Sir Robert of Cook,

If ye be lookin for the truth of the thing, hie thee thyself to

http://www.robertburns.org/encyclopedia/AuldLangSyne.5.html

via the transporter and there ye shall find that which ye seek.

However, should you be thinking of the old country lane(s) in your part of the woods - I haven't a clue Old Boy.

#67

TTFN

S.O.B.

-- sweetolebob (buffgun@hotmail.com), January 04, 2000.

((((((FRLians)))))))

Happy New Year to all!

I've been busy partying with family in Montreal and getting ribbed and taunted over the "toothless bug". Right now though I'm going through the infamous "3 day storm", which turned out to be an ice storm. But so far, the lights are still on, I just can't go ski, dernit!

BTW, I was there when Uncle D. promised his party in June! Looking forward to it Unc, no wiggling out of it this time ;-)

-- Chris (catsy@xxx.com), January 04, 2000.

Partying and getting ribbed eh?

No wonder you're "taunted" - it might be all that ribs creating the weight gain.....

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), January 04, 2000.

Hey now!

Hi Ms Chris,

Glad to see that you survived the wicked rollover up there in the Great White North. Enjoy your vacation ice storm. (G)

Welcome home Nurse lady.

S.O.B.

-- sweetolebob (buffgun@hotmail.com), January 04, 2000.