Following was presented at departmental X-Mass party this afternoon. some funny, some not...

(Read to "Twas a Night Before Christmas")

Twas the night before 2000 and all through the land, everyone was partying except for one man.

The candles were lit at the [my name] house with care In hopes that Y2K couldn't touch him there.

He had gathered the fire wood and stocked the food pans, brought all the batteries and water from Sam's.

His family was present his planning complete, He turned on his computer to watch it go "eek".

And I heard him exclaim as he bolted the door "Don't come to the [my name's] house I'm not sharing this store"

And with a twinkle in his eye and a twist of his nose He slammed the door shut on all neighborly foes.

Behind the closed bunker he shouted to all "Merry New Year you... It should be quite nice 1,000 ways to make beans and rice".

Let us just say that I have gone out on some limbs to try to alert the public of (1) the threat, and (2) why "I'll come to your house. Ha, ha, ha!" is not as funny as it sounds.

-- Dave (aaa@aaa.com), December 16, 1999

Answers

Dave

I'm new at this site but have posted on others. I feel safe to say that most of us (GI's) have encountered the same things maybe not in the same way but the same emotions. The only thing I can say is that it may be their way of denying it will more than likely happen.

Remember most of the public thought that Hitler would'nt invade and that the Titanic was unsinkable. Just me thoughts.

Best wishes Best luck Poacher.

-- poacher (no@no way .thankyou), December 16, 1999.

Please see the definition of "scansion" in Webster's !

-- SH (squirrel@huntr.com), December 16, 1999.

dave, too bad folks can't cut you some slack. if mr. nance has been in on the joking, let me know and i'll set him straight. how 'bout passing a few of those 1,000 recipes my way?

oh yeah, i have already forgotten which side of town you live on.

-- nance (nancyw@mailcity.com), December 16, 1999.

When people laugh at me, I just laugh along with them. "Maybe when this is all over, the kids can have a treasure hunt in my backyard to try and find my gold! Ha ha ha!" 15 days of laughing left.

-- Amy Leone (leoneamy@aol.com), December 17, 1999.

'TWAS THE WEEK AFTER CHRISTMAS

'Twas the week after Christmas
and all through the house
not one PC was working
not even a mouse.

I turned on the power
but nothing was working
I grab the computer
and start banging and jerking.

I laid out three grand
for this big piece of junk
on January 1st
the damn thing went "kerplunk"!

When I threw it out the window
it made such a clatter
my neighbor just called
to see what's the matter.

I turned on the TV
the cable is down
my microware oven
is making weird sounds.

My new VCR
is dead as a rock
not one light is blinking
not even the clock.

It's twenty below
the peak of snow season
the furnace won't work
the pipes are all freezing.

This couldn't have happened
at a worst time
I think I have frostbite
on my behind.

I laughed for a second
and thought it all funny
then a call from my bank
in regards to my money.

"We managed your pension
and savings with care
but for some odd reason
Your money's not there
We were Y2k ready
we'd thought we'd be heroes
but regret to inform you
Your balance is..Zero"!

I drop the receiver
To the bathroom I rush
I push down the handle
The toilet won't flush.

I turned on the faucet
not one drop hits the sink
I head out the door
to the pub for a drink.

I jump in the car
turn the key in the switch
It only goes "click"
I scream, "son-of-a-bitch"!

A computerized ignitionhas just sealed my fate
not set up
for the "2000" date.

I twitch like a madman
this cannot be true
no car, heat, or money
what the hell can I do?

Shouting obscenities
as I ran out of sight
Happy Y2k to all
It's been one hell of a night!

-- rb (ronbanks_2000@yahoo.com), December 17, 1999.

bold off...hit b and not br

-- rb (rb@yahoo.com), December 17, 1999.

Well Dave, if by chance things are just a BITR...they've already had their chuckle and I seriously doubt that you hear about past a week or so. If however you are the correct one...I'd bet that they'll be thinking of you each day until things get back to normal (whatever THAT is).

You also seem to have gotten the message across...don't come to MY house. Guess they'll have to stand in line for "stuff" if yours happens to be one of those regions in those "regional outages" that Koski keeps mentioning.

beej

-- beej (beej@ppbbs.com), December 17, 1999.